should I try and save it

[Q-ball]

I had been seeing a girl for over 3 years. I decided to break up with her in the summer, kind of a spur of the moment thing because, well I'm a moron, it was summer, and I wanted to be single (believe me, I'm paying for it now). It wasn't long after this that I realized that I missed her a lot. Every sunday, while we were broken up for the entire summer, we would meet up and have a lot of fun together. When fall came, our relationship became a long distance one, as it always was in the past because we go to different schools, I let her know that I wanted her back. She would say that she really just couldn't have a boyfriend right now, she was worried about where her future was and mine (we're both graduating very soon) and didn't want to be held down by a relationship.

 

She started staying over at my house when she was home for the odd weekends, and eventually were having sex again, and doing everything a couple would do together, except, when I'd ask her about it she would say she really couldn't be in a relationship right now. Things kept getting more intense between us (in a good way), recently I was invited to go see her for a weekend. We had a good time together, but the morning before I left to head home, we started fooling around, and she brokedown crying (a serious ego boost for me ).

 

She said the passion seemed to be gone. I felt it too, but I'm a guy, and she is beautifull, so I guess it never caused me to stop doing what I wanted to so. She said she loved me so much but she just felt like she wasn't interested in sex much. It's my understanding that most girls need that passion to have good sex.

 

She was so upset, said she couldn't imagine me not in her life, but she doesn't feel like we can be romantic anymore, said she was worried about her self and her sex drive, because this happened to her and her ex after they had been together for a couple years.

 

I'm confused, I thought that if someone can't be romantic with someone, then they can't be in love. Me, being lately a little self conscious because of the fact that I was totally into her and she was always hesitant, started getting paranoid about myself. I do know that it is not me, as in the way I look, the things I do in bed (I always try to make her happy and always succeed unless she says she doesn't want it). But I just felt like she needed someone new and maybe more excitement in her life. I would like more excitement too, but I have faith that I could have had this with her with a little bit of effort from both of us.

 

We talked about what we were going to do(through emails), keep trying or call it quits, I think she just wanted me to linger around until she could figure things out. I got upset, told her that I'm done with this, I'm tired of chasing her(6 months), despite how much I love her. I was kind off harsh, because I really didn't want to be hoping for her calls and anxiously awaiting emails everyday from her, like I had been doing for the last 6 months. I kinda makes me feel week or pathetic. I said that we are done, there is nothing in the future for us.

 

She responded late at night (which makes me feel terrible because I think she was up crying) saying she didn't want to email eachother because it is just too hard on her right now. Said it would be a while before we could just be friends.

 

I feel like I abondoned her. I need to know, is this lack of passion a personal issue she has(low sex drive type thing) or does this mean we've just lost the connection and should move on? I do love her so much, I can't stand thinking about her crying, and just want her to be happy, I wouldn't mind being happy too , For me to be happy, I just need to know, should I call her and see if we should try and work at this(that is if she is even willing), or should I be moving on.

 

I would like to know from other girls out there if they have ever felt what she has and what it means, I appreciate any advice from anyone though.

 

thank you

[robowarrior]

Buy her a promising ring, in which you promise you will marry her one day. It doesn't matter wether it will work out in the future or not, it matters that you give her a clear signal about you two HAVING a future instead of not, or in other words. Secure her insecurities.

[Q-ball]

thanks for the reply, I spoke with her again, it seems it is no longer up to me. We decided to go our separate ways, remain friends, which I think I can do because we do get along well, I did tell her that I was truly comitted to her before all this, treated her like an angel, so I think I gave it everything I had. It was hard saying bye, but atleast now I can rest and know that I've done all I could