My life is a soap opera

[Nemoralis]

...Except I'm not even kidding.

 

CLIFF NOTES: I'm about to become my "boyfriend's" step-sister.

 

LONG STORY:

 

I started kinda seeing this guy, we'll call him Josh. It was nothing too serious, just a casual kind of fling. He was fun, but we weren't really looking for anything serious and I got the feeling that he was kinda the player type. Well anyway, we started getting closer and closer, so I'm not sure what was going to happen between us - it was up in the air.

 

Suddenly, my mom informs me that she is going to leave my step-father of 8 years. Obviously I'm pretty close to the guy, so this is a bit of a shock (I'm 17). But the real shock comes next. She tells me that she's leaving him for Josh's dad.

 

Obviously a whole lot of crap went down from there, it was a huge messy ordeal. During that time, I decided to keep mine and Josh's relationship on a purely brother/sister level, since that's what our parents (my mom, his dad) wanted. And I thought I could handle that. But then throughout this whole ordeal we got pretty close. I mean we could turn to each other. It was a hard time for us, especially me, since I was losing the only father I'd ever known. But regardless, we ended up getting back together.

 

I made him promise that he would keep it a secret. So we've been pursuing our relationship secretly for the last month or so.

 

Our parents have gotten serious now that the divorce is coming through, and they'll almost certainly get married. His dad loves me to death and always tried to get me and Josh together before all of this happened, and he told me he really regrets that Josh and I had to back off of each other for their (my mom and his) sake.

 

But I can tell he's worried that we're still seeing each other. It doesn't help that he noticed a hickey on my neck the day after Josh and I had spent a night alone together at our deer camp. (And he MUST have been looking for it too, because it was barely noticeable). He's a really, really smart guy. And he's catching on.

 

Plus everyone at our deer camp (which is where we all met, btw) knows that Josh and I were "seeing" each other before all of this happened, and some of them have been assuming we're still together officially. We weren't exactly secret about it before now, so everyone, even our parents, knew what we were getting up to.

 

Oh goodness...I don't know what I'm looking for here. Advice? I don't know. Opinions on what I should do now? I really care about Josh, but I'm not sure I'm ready for a relationship, nor is he. I'm worried he's getting too attached to me one minute, and then the next minute I'm worried I'm getting too attached to him.

 

So come on...blast away and tell me what I'm doing is morally wrong. I'm prepared for it. I just want some general ideas/opinions.

 

Or something.

[aymee_lee]

There's nothing morally wrong with this. You guys were a couple first! It's not weird at all in terms of you two being 'related' because you may only be related by marriage, and that's IF your parents get married. It would have been a different story if you'd grown up together as brother and sister, but other than that, the situation in totally understandable IMO.

 

The only issue I see is that with you guys being 17, it's unlikely (but not impossible) that you'll end up together in the long run, so when/if you break up, it's going to be awkward because you'll be in each other's life even if you want to be apart.

[puff.tm.dragon]

I say let your parents have it. They're old, not a lot of options left.

[puff.tm.dragon]

The only issue I see is...when/if you break up, it's going to be awkward because you'll be in each other's life even if you want to be apart.

 

That would really suck.

[doyathink]

Thats kinda crappy that you two were seeing each other before all of this and now...your mom is leaving your step dad to be with another man...which happens to be your bf dad....

 

I dont think it's fair...but they are your parents...so...

[Nemoralis]

I say let your parents have it. They're old, not a lot of options left.

This is true, but we're not stopping them. In fact, I love his dad and think he's great for my mom. And Josh adores my mom. We want them to be together. (Plus they're not that old...only 37)

 

The only issue I see is that with you guys being 17, it's unlikely (but not impossible) that you'll end up together in the long run, so when/if you break up, it's going to be awkward because you'll be in each other's life even if you want to be apart.

Also true, but if that is going to happen then it's already too late to prevent. If we split, it's going to be awkward. We might as well be in a relationship now...only no one knows except our friends.

[Maverick32x]

well, I see nothing Morally wrong at all with this..... there is no way you could of predicted this would of happened.. and if you guys fooled around, its not like you are REAL brother and sister......

But really, things are gonna get messy if you keep dating and such if your parents decide to get married.... I don't know.....it IS pretty weird!!!!

[Follow Me]

The only issue I see is...when/if you break up, it's going to be awkward because you'll be in each other's life even if you want to be apart.

 

But this is inevitable no matter what. You guys are close enough that a split in whatever romantic ties you have would be devastating. You care for the guy and I assume he feels the same way towards you, so have at it. I don't think this is morally wrong at all. Just inconvenient circumstances. Throw caution to the wind on this one and have fun. Your parents are adults so let them just deal with it.

[DN]

I say go for it on the strict understanding that if you break up you have to be at least polite to each other afterwards. That will be easy to agree to now but much harder to implement if it becomes necessary.