What the hell is going on?

[chocolady]

Ok I don't get it.

Everything was going great, decided this guy is worth it and was going to set a date this weekend to meet but then this happened....

 

SO the same thing happened the next day. I got confused and annoyed, I messaged him saying "r u ignoring me"? and he said "nooooooooo" and then he said "My MSN is playing up. Honest".. then nothing. Sat there for like twenty minutes waiting for a reply, but nothing.

So I sent him a mail saying that I felt like an idiot siting there talking to myself and for him to get in touch when he was fixed. He sent one back saying "Been trying to tell you that MSN is playing up. I tried re-booting a few times but no luck. Will try again tomorrow, sleep well xx" I replied and said ok speak soon and wished him a goodnight x.

 

Today, he follows me onto 'our' site within minutes, has been online most of the evening (I hoped waiting for me?) but when I signed in.. no reply, so I asked him if he was fixed yet? And he replied I think so. I thought ok, give him the benefit here and we started chatting again.

He then said that he had his tea on and that he wasn't going to ignore me, he just having some soup so I said "ok enjoy", and that was it! I sat there like a lemon for over half hour, then messaged him saying "Hey I'm off, night x" and went into 'offline' . he went into auto away not long after.

 

I mean, if this guy likes me, why the hell didn't he come back? On his profile he states that Trust is number one to him and Honesty is a close second and I consider myself more than capable of both but he really is making it difficult for me here.

 

I feel so pathetic because I know that if I was out of this, the answers to this question would be obvious to me but I'm too hurt and angry and can't step back yet.

 

He has no idea how difficult this is for me, it will be the first step into dating for me since my husband died and he knows this...

 

Why is he messing me about? What the hell is going on? And what should I do about it?

[annie24]

have you actually met this man in person? if not, I'd forget about him.

[chocolady]

This man practically begged me to meet him EVERYTIME we talked, pursued me for months, told me we'd take things nice and slowly when I told him I was scared and now this? What a loser....I just deleted him.

[annie24]

yeah. you know, it is possible he is married and when his IM is on the spazz.... perhaps it his wife just asked him to come into the kitchen to help fix something or set the table....

[chocolady]

Thanks Annie.

[Kalika]

It sounds like you're putting all your eggs in this one basket.. Who cares if this guy pursued you and begged to meet?

 

Try to realize, just because he put Trust or Honesty as his most valued attributes does not necessarily mean he's trustworthy or honest.. I mean, how many people are going to put "I'm a creep" on their profiles.. just a thought..

 

Anyways I know how crappy dating nowadays is, especially in your case because you were previously married. It's hard. What you need to do is, date someone that's available to you emotionally.. Let him get to know you over a long period of time. Don't trust the first person that comes along, nor should you allow yourself to get so fixated on one person..

 

Good luck, I hope your situation improves

[Batya33]

With one exception, I refused to IM wiith men before we met or to email more than a few times. A few emails, one or two phone calls, then meet, hopefully within a week of first contact. Anything else started to look like email buddies, cybersex or married/attached none of which I had any interest in.