Ex girlfriend too busy

[InLoveAndWaiting]

My ex told me a little over a month ago that she has had alot of time to think since we split and that she really missed spending time together. Maybe some of you have seen my other posts on here. She has 2 kids which keep her very busy right now and she is very stressed out. She has alot of overdue bills and she said there doesn't seem like enough hours in the day.

 

Ok, besides the point that some of you are wondering why in the hell would I want to be with someone like that? Because I love her.

 

My point is that her actions are speaking louder than her words and we haven't spent much time together lately. I'm thinking if she really wanted to spend time together, she would find the time. She is very busy and is often to tired to do anything after work because she is exhausted. Her weekends are sometimes busy with the oldest one's cheerleading competitions. She is honestly very busy, I know that for a fact.

 

She said last night that she still wants to spend more time together but with being so busy lately, all she feels like doing when she isn't busy is sleeping or doing absolutely nothing. These kids are wearing her out and stressing her out.

 

I know how she changes when she is stressed out and she isn't the same person. It just sounds to me like she is too busy for anyone else in her life right now, despite what she told me.

 

I don't know what to say to her or if I should just cut back on the phone calls, I don't know. We spoke about how we felt about everything between us a few weeks ago, and we both agreed that we wanted to take things slow.

 

The point is that she is making no effort to show any of this, I just don't know what to do.

 

Any advice on this situation?

[renaissancewoman101]

Who broke up with who? She may just be letting you down easy by telling you one thing and doing another.

[InLoveAndWaiting]

She split with me and we split back in June of last year. We had a long period of a few months where we hardly spoke. Then she came back into my life, which was her decision because she said she missed me.

 

So how is she trying to let me down easy? She wouldn't have come back into my life at all.

 

You just don't understand how busy she really is. She just told me she wants to spend more time together and take things slow between us, she just isn't showing that right now, and I believe the stress has alot to do with it. She has suffered with depression in the past and I believe still does to a degree.

 

I just want some advice on how I should possibly handle this.

[renaissancewoman101]

If she REALLY wanted to spend time with you, she would FIND the time to do it. Even busy people make the time to spend it with someone they care about. She might just be feeding you a line so as not to hurt your feelings but you have to look at her actions vs her words. Actions speak louder than words.

[Clementine orange]

Single mom with 2 Kids! Busy all the time? Yeah I'd believe that for sure. Why don't you go somewhere with and bring the kids? Or how about hire a babysitter for her and go somewhere.

Try to see things from her perspective - she's stressed!!!!! She misses you but doesn't have the time or energy to rebuild things with you.

[krnelson2]

I agree with Clementine-

 

Ask her if there is any way you can help her with the kids. That would really show that you are comitted to making her life better. Also see if she would be willing to get a babysitter one night and take her out for a nice dinner. Show her you are willing to help her with things it sounds like thats what she needs right now.

[InLoveAndWaiting]

That all sounds good but I have asked her if there is anything I can do to help and she said said no, but thank you. I know she is very stressed out, especially because of her financial situation, and I don't think she wants to put any more of that burden on me. I have already helped her out with some money, and she felt really bad about it. If we go out, I pay for everything otherwise she could not afford to go out with me. I don't mind this at all because I make very good money, but I think it gets to her.

 

I believe that being stressed out and possibly depressed again, that it causes her to act differently. She isn't calling me as much and not returning my calls as much. She is always tired and just never seems happy. This is such a terrible situation and I hate to see her like this, it kills me. I love her and the kids so much and I don't know what to do here.

 

I wish I could do something to help but I don't know what to do. Just taking her out for a nice evening won't cut it. It goes deeper than that. I want to be apart of her life but I don't know what she wants.

 

She said she missed spending time together but she said that lately, with being so stressed and tired all the time, that all she wants to do is sleep or not do anything whenever she gets the chance. She just isn't showing any effort right now to make things work between us, and she said she wanted to take things slow and see what happens right now.

 

Most people would not want to deal with all this, and would run the other way. It does stress me out when I see her like this, but I don't know what to do, I don't run because I love her and I care.

 

Any other advice on what to do?

[wickedconfused]

I just found this post; clearly it is now several years old. But I wonder if people are still lurking around to read it?

 

I have also spent the past year dating someone with 2 kids. She also has Crohn's disease, which has flared up in the past couple of months, leaving her pretty ill. Top that off with work and a child custody battle and she has almost completely distanced herself from me. It's a crapshoot whether or not she returns my phone calls or texts, but she has expressed appreciation for nice things I have done (like send flowers). I am taking a job to be closer to her, but even that hasn't caused the floodgates to open. I am extremely confused about what to do. We spent the night together a few weeks ago and have been in sporadic touch since then, mostly making small talk. But she's constantly distracted and even starts crying over "small" types of things. Paranoia tells me there may be another man, but logic says that she is completely overwhelmed and the "independent" type. I don't know how long to hang on! =/

[Capricorn3]

^ wickedconfused: It would be a good idea to start your own thread to get responses to your own questions, as this thread is 6 years old. Thanks.

 

Thread closed.