equally yoked ?

[lonestar_80]

What are all the things that can be defined in being equally yoked ? I am starting to date again but I am closly guarding my heart. I meet a guy whom to me does not seem to fit the bill of what I want in a man. He is 10 years older than me, he has an 11 year old son, and he does not have a college education.

 

I am a very open minded person, but it seems that we do not make a great match. He seems very nice he calls alot, but that does not mean much. Guys are alway on their best behavior when you meet them. So does being equally yoked also apply to education and income? I know my family would not approve of him because he did not go to college. Everyone in my family struggled to go to college or greater. They would not understand me dating someone that did not go to college. I feel so bad but then again I might be saving myself from heartache. I am too young to deal with an 11 year old kid.

How do I let this guy down gently, without having to make my problems with him the issue?

[anggrace]

If I were in your shoes, Id have to really like him to consider dating him. There are many successfull people who dont have a college education. Some people can pull it off. There are also many very smart people who havent gone to college. Its unfortunate that your parents wouldnt even give him a chance.

How long have you been dating? I suppose this would help me give advice on how to break it to him, if thats what you want to do.

[Jeffrey2095]

Hello lonestar 80,

 

Equally yoked... That is always a big question for all of us.

 

Each of us will decide what we value and to what degree.

 

How do you get along, just as friends? Also, this guy might be able and willing to furthur his education. (If that is what it is going to take.)

 

The 11 year old does sound like a handful for someone in their 20s, but you never know, it might be a good experience too.

 

How about steady dating for awhile longer...

 

Peace, and best wishes

 

Jeffrey

[lonestar_80]

Thank You!

 

We have not been dating very long at all! Less than a month. But he seems more into me than I am into him. I just wanted to know if this falls into the same area of being equally yoked.

[Juliana]

I don't think so. "Equally yoked" refers to oxen or horses who are put into a tandem harness so that they can combine their strength to pull together and accomplish something. So, extrapolating from that image, I think being equally yoked refers to someone's commitment, and their willingness to throw their strength into the relationship. Just my opinion, though.

 

Here's another reference, though: The Romans made their enemies pass under an arch of spears that were referred to as a yoke; if that's the reference, then, the couple referred to should be "equally yoked," that is, equally submissive to God. A possible interpretation.

 

Nothing beats discernment, though.

[v8vachon]

LoneStar, equally yolked is referred to in the bible as " believers and unbelievers". Nothing to do with college or financial status. I would never want to be looked down upon for not getting a college degree.. what about the size of his heart? There are men with college degrees who would mistreat you and who you could have NO CHEMISTRY at all with. What's his story? Why didnt he go to college? Did he do well for himself otherwise? Is he a great father? a great friend? a believer? how much do u have in common? Does he challenge you mentally in your conversation? Those are the factors that determine weather you are equally yolked or not... a college degree only means that you went to school longer. Think about it!

[Jeffrey2095]

Hello Lonestar,

 

I agree with V8 here. (Nice post V8 )

 

To me, it seems as though you are possibly placing too much value and emphasis here on his education. Isn't it a person's heart that should be of paramount value? (In everything we do?)

 

Now, education is important too, don't get me wrong, but there are plenty of quality people in this world who do not possess a college degree. Education, does not cease to exsist beyond ivey colored walls.

 

Personally, I have met plenty of people with degrees, some fairly advanced, (in the workplace and everywhere really,) who I didn't deem as neccessarily intelligent, or even "competant", while some of their "bosses" never finished highschool.

 

"Equally yoked"?

 

Many of us are familiar with the term as used in the Bible, but what about being equally yoked in "everything", or as much as possible?

 

Maybe another word is just "compatability", right?

 

Follow your heart first, and you will have a good guide.

 

Also... how important is your parent's opinion of him here, to you? Consider all the "in laws" in the world that are not satisfied with their child's spouse.

 

I hope things work out for everyone in your current relationship Lonestar.

 

Best wishes

 

Jeffrey