Should I tell her?

[imsoinlovewithher]

I don't think I'm depressed. I just go from being dead happy to dead sad really easily, depending on the last contact I've had with her.

 

I'm OK right now, I DEFINITELY think my jealousy is getting better. Definitely. Now I just need to work on the insecurity bit somehow...somehow...

 

thanks for everyone's input by the way

[IntoTheFire]

I don't think I'm depressed. I just go from being dead happy to dead sad really easily, depending on the last contact I've had with her.

I'm OK right now, I DEFINITELY think my jealousy is getting better. Definitely. Now I just need to work on the insecurity bit somehow...somehow...

 

thanks for everyone's input by the way

 

Someone should definitely correct me if I'm wrong, but I was always led to believe that extreme mood changes/going from high to low really quickly or easily was in some way connected into the whole depression thing? Maybe I'm wrong?

[blue-eyedspacemonkey]

You might be depressed, falling for a friend can be very depressing...certainly the mood swings sound familiar...only you can know if it's bad enough to consider going for professional help.

 

Insecurity is always a toughie to work on, positive re-inforcement is a good way to go...

Are you still unsure where you stand on the relationship front? Because sorting that out will help quite a bit, becasue you won't be on edge as much

[imsoinlovewithher]

Yes I am still unsure where I stand on the relationship front. I've decided to back off a bit physically, and see if she initiates making out etc. cos she might just be confused and might not REALLY like me in that way. If she just wants hugs and stuff like that, then at least I know she's probably not really sexually attracted to me.

 

I don't want to bring up the subject of "us" again though, cos last time she said she didn't want to talk about it. I don't want to put pressure on her or anything.

 

But I don't think she'll EVER bring it up cos she finds it really, really, really hard to talk about how she's feeling. She is a great listener and very understanding but she really can't say how SHE feels. I wish she could, it would make this whole thing so much easier.

 

I think I get insecure sometimes because she is so closed book that I doubt whether she even wants to spend time with me, let alone be my girlfriend. Although, saying that, she is very affectionate with hugs and small kisses etc.

 

I don't think it's bad enough to go for professional help.....but ask me again in about 3 or 4 months and I might have a different answer.

 

It might be good for me to move away for university, but then I'd have to move away from her and I don't know if I could physically tear myself away from her.........

[blue-eyedspacemonkey]

hmm....that's a toughie...you can't really push her cuz she'll just close up even more, which will be really bad...

 

She might be confused, or she might just be uncomfortable with the physical side of things. It might be a good thing to move away to uni, get some space and stuff, but don't base that decision solely on that, ensure you want to go to the uni and it is good for the course you want to do. When do you start uni?

[imsoinlovewithher]

I start uni in sept this year. I have to make my decision on my two choices by may. Things are going quite good at the minute, we've still been making out even though I haven't initiated it. I think she may feel uncomfortable with the physical side, but I do think that she really, really cares about me.

 

If anyone ever mentions gay or lesbian or anything like that when we're out, she never catches my eye, ever. She never brings it up later either. I found it quite funny when one of our friends accidently said that my girl fancies me. Our friend started laughing and said "not in that way, I'm not saying that haha" I was kinda laughing along but my girl showed very little emotion and comletely avoided eye contact.

 

i think I need to do more things outside my relationship with her. Apart from her, there's not much else in my life. I know I should really try to get a job or join a club or something but I'm lacking the motivation.

 

I'll give it another month, then might try and talk to her. I don't think her family would react very well with her going out with a girl. She cares a lot about her family, so I don't know if it'll ever happen.

[imsoinlovewithher]

I saw her last night and now I actually miss her. I have plans today, so I should be busy later and that will hopefully help to take my mind off it but my heart is sort of aching. I don't really know how to describe it. I don't know why I'm posting this, I just needed somewhere to get my thoughts down.