Moving Day!

[Bankers24]

Today is moving day for my soon-to-be ex-husband. He is moving out of our house today! I am taking a half day off of work to be there just incase he tries to take anything that he is not suppose to be taking. I have a friend of mine coming with me for support. I am reallly worried about being around him becuase we are getting divorced due to several relationships that he has had outside our marriage. I have so much anger towards him that I just want to physically hurt him sometimes. We were only married 9 months when I found out he had been cheating on me. Today is our 10th anniversary - how ironic since it is moving day. 10 months ago today I thought I was getting married to the love of my life and today I sit here telling strangers about my divorce and him moving out.

 

Oh well, I guess you never know what life has in store for you. I am only 23 and he is 25, at least I am still young and found out his true character before there were any kids involved. It just amazes me that I had been living with this guy for 6 months before marriage and I never knew he was leading a double life. He has several women that he was sleeping with who thought he was single!! Oh well, glad to get rid of him and start moving on with my life.

 

I don't really know why I am posting, just needed someone to talk to I guess - someone to vent to and you guys seemed to be the perfect ones!!

 

Thanks for reading!

[BeStrongBeHappy]

Sorry to hear about this, but be glad you only invested 10 months instead of 10 years and a few kids...

 

There are some people who are opportunistic committers or hollow committers, i.e., they get married becuase it provides them some opportunity they want (cheaper rents, more money from spouse, etc.) or their commitments are hollow or meaningless (they real don't intend to keep a commitment, but continue to do anything they want)... so if you marry one of those people, no matter how much you love them or they PRETEND to loveyou, they just keep acting like they are single and doing whatever they please...

 

regardless, he is definitely NOT good marriage material and better to move on... i am sorry to hear you went through this, but at least you were smart enough to not let it drag on for years and until children were involved...

[Bankers24]

I have never heard of an "opportunistic committer" before, but it really makes sense. Thank you for sharing that with me. It is nice to hear other people saying that I did the right thing by leaving and not listening to his lies anymore.

 

He has been telling his family awful things about me - saying that I treated him so bad that he had no other choice but to cheat on me. I don't understand that becuase I thought we were happy - yeah we had our arguments but I thought we always talked about them and resolved them (stupid stuff like who loads the dishwasher correctly). If he had such a big issue with me then he should have brought it to my attention in another way besides cheating on me. To me it sounds like he is trying to justify his acitons and make excuses for his behavior. No matter how bad a marriage is, you have a commitment to that person which includes solving problems if they exist (which they will in any marriage but you must work to fix those problems). Cheating is non-excusable in my book. Oh and his mother really peeves me off - she told him that it was HER fault for his cheating because she was over-protective of him as a child and he is just "acting out" now and that cheating is how a 25 year old acts out. She is acting as an enabler to him - not allowing him to take responsibility for his own actions. ERRRRRRR....

 

Ok...glad to have vented.

 

Thanks again for the reply.

[Siriana]

Oh, how awfull.

But you had some luck in this bad situation - it took you only 10 months to find out what a jerk he is. As you sad you're childfree and only 23! Yeah, someone who's more mature is way better for you.

It is a great idea to have a friend coming too.

Good luck today.

[sandyv]

Bankers 24: Yep thats gotta be an awful thing to deal with, but everyone is right, your young and have alot to look forward to, and you most certainley can do better for sure....

 

Chin up... and I'm glad to see that you are a strong woman and will be just fine....

 

 

[Crazyaboutdogs]

opportunistic committers or hollow committers, i.e., they get married becuase it provides them some opportunity they want (cheaper rents, more money from spouse, etc.)

 

Also known as "marriages of convenience". They seem to be quite common as you get older....getting married so that you won't be alone.....getting married in order to have children.....getting married because of peer pressure...getting married soon after a spouse dies because you can't handle the lonliness....getting married for image or lifestyle purposes etc.

 

I am so sorry this happened to you. Not all men are like that, you just landed up with the rotten apple. You are young and will bounce back, however tough it is now.

[Bunney]

Sorry to hear that & wish you the best of luck in the future!

 

So what was about the other day when he went to a bar and paid 51$? Did he really just have a dinner with his co-workers?

[Bankers24]

No, the $51 was not "just Co-workers". I found out it was his girlfriend Anne that he took to the bar that night AND he had told me he missed his flight home that night BUT come to find out he COULD HAVE made the flight home if he wanted to do so. SO, Instead of coming home he spent the night with Anne.