Pending Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Day 1. 20 days of NC out the window. Checked a site that allowed reverse checks(see if people you have deleted still have you on their lists) to help clean up my list...and I noticed my ex had deleted me. Went ahead and checked/saw that she had did the same with facebook.. Sadly that little action has me feeling like complete ****. Link to comment
lady00 Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Around 2 weeks. Lost count of the exact number of days. Feels good to have lost count! 8) Still wonder about him and if he's thinking about me, but I am in a much better place than I was when I started NC. Link to comment
Tshwane Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 I've decided to stop keeping count. im thinking of her a lot but luckily it's the things she did to hurt me, i can't wait till the day i don't care about her anymore. The good thing is, i know i tried everything to make us work. So my only focus is healing and moving on. Link to comment
things_ive_done Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 If its still possible to join this challenge, then I am sooooo down. Start me off on DAY 1 Its been almost 2 weeks, but Ill start day 1 right here. Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted May 31, 2007 Author Share Posted May 31, 2007 Things IVE_DONE, Welcome to the challenge and GOOD luck to you!!! You can do it!!! -SuperDave71 Link to comment
things_ive_done Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 s'funny too. How when looking for a display picture, all I found were pictures of me and her, and her and me, and her and my friends, and me her and my friends. See the common denominator? Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted May 31, 2007 Author Share Posted May 31, 2007 I can understand that.... but it is what it is....you can have 1000's of pictures of you and your ex...but when you broken up and trying to move on....they are called physical "memories". I know its hard. You have enough "movies" in your head that will play over and over.... Don't grab popcorn and sit and watch....get up and leave the theatre in your head and make a consicous decision not to look back if you can help it. It's all up to you.... -SuperDave71 Link to comment
things_ive_done Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 True enough. Im heading to work, Ill be back here later tonight. My day shouldn't be like any other, but if she does pop into my head, I'll be sure to remember it and record it. FYI Our relationship ending was a mutal thing...almost....she brought it up, and I didn't agree at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted it too, just so everyone is well aware. Although it was mutal, the pain is still there.... it comes in waves. Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted May 31, 2007 Author Share Posted May 31, 2007 well with any good waves...GRAB A SURFBOARD and ride baby!! WOO HOOOOO!!! You can do it man!!! and but the way....I am sorry for your breakup..it will get better -SuperDave71 Link to comment
andy5128 Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Good luck things ive done... Day 16 Well got through yesterday (the ex's birthday) did not make any form of contact although had a few moments of temptation!! I am kinda proud of myself.. even if it is corny that a grown man had trouble not making contact with someone for one day! Sounds a bit pathetic when you put it like that..! Anyhow day 16, feeling pretty good today.. I think the rest of NC will get easier now. So heading for the 30 days and infinity and beyond kind thing! Off out a bit later to help my female friend do some painting... Geez I fancy her! Playing it cool though as not sure my heart is ready and not sure she is giving off the right vibes anyhow unless I am just being too cautious for me own good! LOL Busy weekend planned too, off out with a mate for his birthday celebrations tomorrow night... so beers all round. Saturday off out with one of me other female friends to the cinema. Then out to me painting female friends on Sunday for her sons birthday party.. I am busy all of a sudden.. LOL Good Luck to all you NCers, it gets better folks so stick with it.. Andy Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted May 31, 2007 Author Share Posted May 31, 2007 Sound slike you have it covered Andy! ha ha ha -SuperDave71 Link to comment
andy5128 Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 I am getting there SD, appreciate your advice and that of the other people on this forum as it has really helped. I guess I am through the worst of it now. If she makes contact at some point I will cross that bridge when or if it happens but for right now things are good and I am well on the way to mending myself. The DO NOTHING advice is so right in most cases so folks if you are unsure then dont do a single thing. If you do nothing there is nothing to screw up!!! Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted May 31, 2007 Author Share Posted May 31, 2007 You got it! -SuperDave71 Link to comment
Knightm29 Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Day 8 today Hi Andy, so glad to hear your doing good! I took my Godson out today to the beach with his mum and sister. Her mum is my ex best friend so was very weird and brought some memories back so expecting a low night tonight. Going to clean my flat tonight ready for the birthday weekend so that shall keep me busy Early night and fresh for tomorrow and the weekend starts! Take care all Link to comment
smickey Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Day 11 ...and 2 months since we broke up. Had a few tears last night while talking with a friend but it was good to get it out - sometimes a good cry makes you feel better. He was taking the 'tough love' approach with me, which seemed a bit harsh at the time, but I do understand what he's trying to do. He's right - I just need to focus on other things and work on the aspects of my life that I can change and everything else will fall into place. His quote to me last night was 'success breeds success' so I'm going to think about that for a bit and see how I go. Hope everyone else is going well on the challenge... Link to comment
UnderBear Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 So, today was day 30... I haven't written here since day 19 or 20 I think. So, how does this feel, making it to 30? I was hoping to feel alot better. But sadly I don't. Been dreaming about her alot lately. Can't even remember exactly what, just know she was in my dreams, and it's affecting my whole day. Miss her more now than a couple of weeks ago. Guess that's just natural anyway, missing someone more the longer it's been since you've seen them. Still, I wish I was feeling better. Emptiness and longing is all I got for now. I was so determined to get myself back together, yet, I feel that goal has been eluding me as more time has passed by. I'm having a hard time focusing on that. I've also been thinking that I wouldn't just take her back even if she wanted to, but even that determination seems to be weakening with me as time passes. Going for 60 next, I can't afford slipping back into the hell of the panic attacks etc. Any wise words for a broken man? Link to comment
lady00 Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Hmm...I don't really have any wise words. More of a question...have you been working on improving your life during this time or achieving some career/personal goals? I say this because I think that simply doing NC is not enough to help you heal. I think you need to do NC and also seek improvement in all areas of your life at the same time. Ideally, I think, you should lose count of the number of days of NC because you are so busy setting goals for yourself and achieving the things you want to achieve in other, non-relationship, areas of your life. Link to comment
Aldo25 Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 One week and I havent contacted her! In fact I barely thought of her at all today (I have a new girl I'm thinking about now It's hard to believe that one month ago I didnt think I'd be able to go on...and now I am! Link to comment
UnderBear Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Hmm...I don't really have any wise words. More of a question...have you been working on improving your life during this time or achieving some career/personal goals? I say this because I think that simply doing NC is not enough to help you heal. I think you need to do NC and also seek improvement in all areas of your life at the same time. Ideally, I think, you should lose count of the number of days of NC because you are so busy setting goals for yourself and achieving the things you want to achieve in other, non-relationship, areas of your life. Hi Lady Yes, I have actually turned my entire life around, starting with exercising and getting into shape (both bodily and physically). I've quit playing online games. I've taken up my guitarplaying again, and even bought a new guitar. I've started learning to ride a motorcycle (have a lesson today actually, cool ). I'm starting to get som more challenges at work as well as some travel. I've actually been extremely busy alltogether. Maybe I've just gotten to think more about her lately because I've settled into my new lifestyle, it's not distracting me as much any more because I'm getting used to it. I dunno. Thanks for the reply Link to comment
lady00 Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Hi Lady Yes, I have actually turned my entire life around, starting with exercising and getting into shape (both bodily and physically). I've quit playing online games. I've taken up my guitarplaying again, and even bought a new guitar. I've started learning to ride a motorcycle (have a lesson today actually, cool ). I'm starting to get som more challenges at work as well as some travel. I've actually been extremely busy alltogether. Maybe I've just gotten to think more about her lately because I've settled into my new lifestyle, it's not distracting me as much any more because I'm getting used to it. I dunno. Thanks for the reply That's really great to hear...definitely inspiring! I think it may really be just a matter of time. Keep doing what you're doing. I think with NC it's definitely a combination of time and keeping yourself busy pursuing things you've alwasy wanted to do that will help you move on. You will definitely have relapses. I know I have, and my relationship was very short-lived so I can imagine it is much harder with a longer relationship. Good luck with everything! Link to comment
lady00 Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 I am halfway through the challenge! Link to comment
Knightm29 Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Day 9 Its Friday! Feel ok, although thought about her alot this morning while driving to work. I am not looking great at the moment so really need to sort that out. I think I am still just stressed and I am struggling to put weight on. dont know if this could be the combination of stress and anti depressents. Anyway I think time will start to heal again and I can start to feel good in myself. The lonliness is the main problem. I had years of when someone was there around me, people popping round and phoning up. Now I just have an empty flat. Going to make sure I have a good weekend for my birthday and who knows whats round the corner Link to comment
sandyv Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Day 9 Its Friday! Feel ok, although thought about her alot this morning while driving to work. I am not looking great at the moment so really need to sort that out. I think I am still just stressed and I am struggling to put weight on. dont know if this could be the combination of stress and anti depressents. Anyway I think time will start to heal again and I can start to feel good in myself. The lonliness is the main problem. I had years of when someone was there around me, people popping round and phoning up. Now I just have an empty flat. Going to make sure I have a good weekend for my birthday and who knows whats round the corner Good for you Knight, seems like now I may have to begin the NC challenge YET AGAIN, I have failed miserably, but it hasn't helped that my ex has been pursuing me and creating alot of havoc, .... he doesn't know what he wants, except I should be available to him at all times... well enough is enough ... can't take anymore, so here I am on day 6..... never too late to try again right? Link to comment
andy5128 Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Hi Knight I know that emptiness feeling, it does improve trust me. Go out and have a great weekend even if you have to force yourself. Sometimes the nights out you are not so looking forward to end up being the best ones. So stick that coat hanger in your mouth before you go out and chin up and have a blast..! Day something or other for me.. Feel ok today, not really had anything more than the occasional pop in my head thoughts of her but nice ones and then just carried on with my day. Well off out on the town tonight for a few beverages! Link to comment
1guygirl Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 well the ex has been on MY faceparty...so he will have seen the scan piccy of our baby which im glad...i wanted him to see that...but im under no illusion that he will suddenly think 'aww i must get back with her' which after the things hes said to me - do i want to??????????? huh! a white african guy who lives nearby asked me out on a date via faceparty and while im flattered im not ready - too much too soon im afraid THEN..... an ex from 5yrs back emails me...wanting to meet up (last time we 'met up' was 2.5yrs ago), said he still has feelings for me... now i know where this will end up - and im ok with that - (that i CAN handle ) ...im not gunna be getting burned and he wont with me, theres going to be no expectations of one another - but it will get me out of this reject bin to have a hot sexy good looking man showing more than an interest in me! hes not my recent ex but he will give me something else to think about other than thoughts of my ex....its been 11weeks since the split and i wanna feel like a sexy woman again...ahhhhhh Link to comment
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