papalazarou Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 Day 6...still feeling good! Got a text message last night and deleted it straight away. No desire to answer at all. Very busy with other things and rather than 'faking' feeling OK, I actually do feel OK. Another revalation is that I realised I am not doing NC to get him back at all. The truth is I do not want him back. I loved him, I missed him, I have mourned for what I have lost and now I have accepted things as they are. I am finally past my grieving stage and looking forward to whatever life brings to me x As Alan Partridge would say "lovely stuff". "Not my words Michael but he words of Shakin Stevens" Im so proud of you!!! Link to comment
Pisces_Princess Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 Thank-you so much! x Link to comment
boston23 Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 Day 17. Everything is feeling somewhat ok today...well, better than Monday at least. I think that I need to accept the fact that I'm still absolutely furious with my ex and once I am able to do that I'll start feeling better. Because there is obviously something that is really bothering my psyche that I'm repressing. I just read the last email I sent to him to be able to remember what I was feeling like then. It felt good to read it because I saw what a really loving email it was. I told him how much I cared for him and told him that I want the best for him and that everything is great in my life (without him). I'm proud to know that my last contact with him was so mature (haha, especially in comparison to his contact with me!). I need to find that equilibrium again. The number 17 feels much closer to 30 than 15 did. I am feeling the urge to contact him, but there is no way that I would quit on this challenge. Link to comment
rsxguy520 Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 late update! on day 31. totally spent a lot of time free time with my friend that came down from riverside. it was awesome. caught up on a lot of stuff and everything was great. yesterday was great except the fact i spent a lot of money lol. well today is technically day 32.i'll update this later on the day. Link to comment
Parsley Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 Having a pretty good day so far. One thing I noticed as soon as I woke up made me very happy. Since the break up I've had a lot of dreams about my ex (except it isn't my ex...lol. It's his face, his body, his personality, but it's not him) and in all of them we end up being *ahem* intimate. Now last night I had a dream about kissing and sleeping with someone else! Incidentally the guy my ex had a big argument with and now hates, lol. Now I'm not taking that to mean "Ooh, I had a sex dream about Chris - that is going to happen" I know it's not. For a multitude of reasons But it's cheered me up a lot, because I didn't dream about my ex, as him or not him but him. Cheers me up to know my mind is thinking about being with other people again, whether I'm aware of it or not. No temptation to contact him as yet. Fingers crossed this keeps up... Link to comment
Siro Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 Day 4 Thinking of her alot today I want to make C v-day is coming and the "friend" will be up here on sat from FL Link to comment
drum4god Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 Day 43 for me. Ha, got most of you beat. LOL. I am doing much better today. I just found out my band got this great gig at this very well known club in NYC, so things are looking up. I still can't get my ex out of my head, but its not that bad anymore. I know in time she will be a distant memory. For the rest of you, Cheaton, I am sorry for you. What your ex did was outright cruel. I know it hurts, but don't give him the time of day. I know it is hard, but do you best to keep your dignity. No man is worth losing your dignity over. NO MAN. Parsley,Rsxguy,Boston,Pisces, and anyone else I missed. You guys are doing great. I read your posts, and it encourages me. We can do this. It does get better, as long as we don't sit around moping. They say time heals wounds, but that is not true. It is what you do in that time. If you keep yourselves busy, focus on you. You will see the pain subside. Link to comment
boston23 Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 Hi...I just wanted to post a little afternoon update. Still Day 17, but definitely feeling better about a whole lot of things. I went and saw my therapist b/c of those panic attacks I had on Monday and pretty much realized that of course I would be feeling like this, and that it's completely fine to feel overwhelmed sometimes. I think I have this really unrealistic view of how I should be and I just need to be easier on myself. I'm realizing that I put so much pressure on myself about everything that I even put pressure on myself to get over this break up quickly and really well. I think that I have been doing a great job of getting over everything (and dealing with the issues that were uncovered after the break up) but man this is a tough thing to do. So little baby steps for now. Oooh my therapist asked me today a series of questions to kind of put this all in perspective. Pretty much: In 10 years, what do you think are the chances that you will be in a nice relationship? What do you think are the chances that you will be in a career that you will find rewarding? Do you think that you will be able to look back at this time in your life and recognize that you feel ok about it? etc etc. And then he asked the same questions (or variations) for 5 years from now, a year from now, a month from now. It really helped put things in perspective. I just thought that if anyone out there feels a little overwhelmed, etc thinking through these questions might help you feel better. I'm off to work out now. And possibly I will study tonight. I'm just taking it easy for the time being. Hope things are going well for the rest of you! Link to comment
TijuanaJones Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 Hi everybody! I haven't posted in a while... that's because I feel wonderful. I let go of my ex when I found out the real reason she dumped me: to start dating her high school fantasy... she knew him all along... she just used dumb excuses to dump me and be with him. But guess what? that was the best thing that could have happened to me! Yes, because that tells me Im a good man and that I dont have serious flaws... she even told me that! Anyway, she is going to be 19 in a couple of days, so she is young and immature. She emailed me last saturday, basically telling me that I was good to her but she had the last word and that SHE dumped ME, and she refused to believe I was over her... she mocked me, saying I was exaggerating when I told her I learned a lot from our failed relationship... I think she feels in a position of power because she was the dumper and because she has a new BF and I dont have a GF... she started to criticize some pet peeves of mine and things like that... anyway, in the letter you could quickly realize that she is extremely egocentric, has a complete disregard for my feelings and well-being and that she is arrogant and immature. She bullied me in that letter. She used to say I was too corny, but now she leaves the corniest comments on her new BFs myspace (i stopped checking it) and is basically letting the world know he is the perfect guy and she is sooo in love with him (he is 18 also). she says so in bulletin boards in myspace and comments... Good, that way is easier for me to move on... The only thing I dont understand is why she wants to make me feel bad? I think she doesnt want to feel guilty for what she did to me, so she blames it on me (altough she contradicts herself in her letter saying I did nothing wrong and that I treated her well)... What are your thoughts on this??? Link to comment
Parsley Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 Hey Tijuana, I was wondering where you'd got to! I can't believe she acted so harshly towards you! It doesn't seem to make any sense that she would finally give you a real reason that shows that you are a good guy and it was her own selfishness that made her break up with you...and then criticize you so horribly. I'd maybe hazard a guess that it's a guilt thing...self-preservation. She knows that she's treated you like a piece of rubbish, and if she has any soul in her at all, she'll feel guilty. My opinion (well the most prevalent one) is that she's trying to offset that by picking out flaws in you...kind of like we have to do to take our exes off the pedastal they've been on for so long. I don't know if I'm coming accross clearly...I'm still not sure why she feels the need to point them out to you! Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted February 7, 2007 Author Share Posted February 7, 2007 Tijuana, Hello my friend...if she has been lying to you all along....then you OF COURSE arer better off. I will almost guarantee something, PLACE YOUR BETS LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!! ( Not really nor do I condone gambling ha ha) She will find out in the months to come that the grass is NOT AS GREEN AS SHE THINKS IT IS. She will be back.....give it 4 to 8 months, You have my word. DON'T BE A SAFETY NET!!!!!!!!!!! EVER!!!!!!! The secret she doesn't know....is that you are too smart for that. You keep doing what you are doing and NEVER EVER LOOK BACK!!! I am proud of you my friend. Your Friend, SuperDave71 Link to comment
TijuanaJones Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 hi Parsley! Yeah, I think exactly the same way you do... I think that breaking up was the best that could happen to me. I refused to acknowledge the fact that she was egocentric, right from the start. I had all the signs and alarms but turned the other way. She always wanted to do things her way, do what she felt like doing... and it all comes down to respect... she insisted too many times about smoking in my car, when she knew I never allow it, and things like that... there was always an argument when I wouldnt let her do something that infringed my rights and my individuality... A relationship is all about sharing, it should be a win-win situation, about giving and taking, but above all, about RESPECT and SUPPORT. I didnt have that with her, so I think Im better off alone... Now that Im alone I have discovered that there are several girls I know that have an interest in me, they think that im a good guy with good feelings and see many qualities in me that I was not aware of. Im happy to know that altough I failed in my past relationship, I am a good man and I have a lot to offer... Everything is going to be all right Link to comment
Parsley Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 I'm really happy for you, and just like SD said, she will see for sure that what she thought was so fabulous about this guy will turn out to be nothing compared to what you gave her. And when she turns around to you you better just be all "uh huh? uh huh? Yeah....nah....soz." Link to comment
TijuanaJones Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 Tijuana, Hello my friend...if she has been lying to you all along....then you OF COURSE arer better off. I will almost guarantee something, PLACE YOUR BETS LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!! ( Not really nor do I condone gambling ha ha) She will find out in the months to come that the grass is NOT AS GREEN AS SHE THINKS IT IS. She will be back.....give it 4 to 8 months, You have my word. DON'T BE A SAFETY NET!!!!!!!!!!! EVER!!!!!!! Hi Dave! Thanks for the support buddy! I do think too that she is setting herself up for disaster... the guy she is with thinks of himself as a "player" and is known to be a heartbraker and a cheater... Last weekend I saw him dancing and chatting up some girls (of course my ex was not there) he even kissed a girl on the lips! She is taking him seriously, he is not... so lets see if Mr. Wonderful will stay for long... Oh, and yeah, when she DOES come back, I won't take her back or be her safety net. She has some serious growing up to do before she is ready to be in a real relationship, and I deserve better than that... Thanx! Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted February 7, 2007 Author Share Posted February 7, 2007 THAT'S MY BOY!!! KEEP THAT CHIN UP AND RADIATING CONFIDENCE!!!!! Your friend, SuperDave71 Link to comment
drum4god Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 Tijuana, Here are some lyrics to an old song by Journey "Loving Touching Squeezing" I think you will get the last laugh. Here it is: You make me weep and wanna die Just when you said we'd try Lovin', touchin', squeezin' each other When I'm alone all by myself You're out with someone else Lovin', touchin', squeezin' each other You're tearin' me apart Every day, every day You're tearin' me apart Oh what can I say? You're tearin' me apart It won't be long, yes till you're alone When your lover, oh, he hasn't come home Cause he's lovin' oo, he's touchin', He's squeezin' another He's tearin' you apart Every day, every day He's tearin' you apart Oh girl what can you say? Cause he's lovin', touchin' another Now it's your turn, girl to cry Na na na na na na Na na na na na Na na na na na na Na na na na na Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted February 7, 2007 Author Share Posted February 7, 2007 Drum, I play that one alll the time!! ( I play guitar ) LOVE that tune!! HA HA HA -SuperDave71 Link to comment
kate111 Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 SuperDave could you kindly help me in my predicament? Here is my thread: Link to comment
bubbles07 Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 Well I'm back to day 1 of NC, this time I'm going to make it. Before I did LC and it just ended up getting me back to step 1 of being hurt and weak but this time I stayed strong by not pleading or crying, just said thats fine. she wants to remain friends but I just text her letting her know that I can't be a friend, and I hope she understands and then she just text back saying that she thinks its too soon as well and that I can call her or text her whenever I want (but i'm not gonna be a sucker and do that). This time I'm in it for the long haul. I know that she is going through the party phase and that can't last forever, we started dating when we were young so she missed out on having all the fun that her friends did, so now shes making up for it and the novelty of being single and partying has made her change her mind of us ever getting back togther, when we first broke up its was like "i don't know if we will or not, we might, we might not" and now shes just plainly said "nah its never going to happen" but thats because right now the grass is greener, and when she realizes what she lost, I'll be the one to decide whats going to happen but for now, its all about me I know that everyone thinks the grass is greener on the otherside but when they get there and find out its not all whats its made out to be, they always look back and I hope when that day comes I'll ,have the satisfaction of saying "nah I'm over us". Link to comment
TijuanaJones Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 Tijuana, Here are some lyrics to an old song by Journey "Loving Touching Squeezing" I think you will get the last laugh. Here it is Hehehe Nice song... I do too think that I will get the last laugh... And Im really not hoping that she has a bad time, I'm not hoping for payback, I just pray for her to have enough experiences that make her grow and mature. Too bad that sometimes those experiences have to be bad ones for us to learn. Even though she was cruel and mean to me at the end, she is someone I loved and I wish she grows up to be a good person, a happy person. Time will heal all wounds... Thanks to ENA and SD's challenge, I have grown personally and acquired a broader understanding of human relationships. I remember when I first came here looking for answers to understand my pain, but instead I discovered that enduring pain would ultimately make me stronger, better. I feel free now, I feel that the possibilities are endless, I know now that I AM in charge of my life and in charge of my happiness. Nobody else is responsible for it... I think its great what everybody here is doing. You are having a positive impact in so many people's lives. People you may never get to know in person, complete strangers. Thanks to everybody for the support. I know I have not yet fully recovered, but I am certain that the hardest part is over and I will do it with the help of you guys. Thank you!! Link to comment
Parsley Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 It's great to see you so positive! Most of what I read on here everyday is negative, obviously because people post more when they feel depressed - I know I do! I hope you find someone lovely amongst the masses of lovely ladies who are fighting tooth and claw to get a glimpse of you! You've reminded me of what I did after I broke up with my ex last year, I just made myself look forward to starting uni and all the new people I would meet there. Luckily for me I get the same experience this year, so I have something to look forward once more! I convinced myself so whole heartedly that I would find someone who would make me smile that it made me forget how much I missed him and also meant I wasn't looking for someone, so I found someone! Weird how that works isn't it? Link to comment
hopelessxnow Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 i've been doing NC since New Years. I'm on day 38 but count me in! Link to comment
TijuanaJones Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 Thanks Parsley! you just encouraged me to post when Im feeling positive and happy, so I'll keep doing it! When I was depressed over my ex I would scour the internet for success stories to fuel my hopes of getting back with my ex. But I think it is nice also to hear stories like mine, where I didn't wind up getting back with my ex, but I recovered and became happy again. My friends say they love me because I am a happy person and I radiate happiness and like to make everybody feel good and laugh (hey, im no clown!) haha so they tried their best to help me get out of my rut so I could be fun again haha. To me, the best advice I could give is: Dont forget life is supposed to be fun, love what you do, laugh at yourself, enjoy life's little pleasures, make people feel good about themselves, give love freely, and one day all that will come back to you! People are attracted to happy, fun people!, so I say everybody should go out there, look at the bright side of things, dont feel sorry for yourselves, learn from your mistakes, dominate your fears, and keep on trying! Happiness is within ourselves. Being in love is a personal decision, and so is being happy. Be loyal to yourselves, to your core beliefs, to your dreams... fight for them, work on improving yourselves, look after your own needs first... we can't expect people to love us if we don't love ourselves enough first... Hang in there! the path to recovery is rough, but happiness is closer than you think! ((hugs)) to everybody! Link to comment
ahhh2jz Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 TJ! good to see you again bro; i hope all is well with you! I think SD is right and that she will be back but by that time you will well be on your way towards a brighter future! If you need anyone man im here for u and everyone else is too. Day 34 NC - these days are going by a lot faster thanks to school mostly. Just got back from the gym and i can barely even move. Gonna shower in a little bit and then hit the books to study. Feeling tired and exhausted is the best way I think to most effectively utilize NC and of course going out with friends and everything, but until then, the gym is my second home. Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted February 7, 2007 Author Share Posted February 7, 2007 Welcome hopelessxnow!!! Welcome to my challenge!! I wish you the best and keep us updated!!!! Your Friend, SuperDave71 Link to comment
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