AllTornUp Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 I just told them. They didn't care at all. I was astounded.. I guess she kept herself aloof from them for so long that they quit caring.. I guess it's better this way, but kind of sad. I didn't break down though, so that was good.. Link to comment
AllTornUp Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 SuperDave, Is now the time I should block/remove her from IM and remove her number from my phone? Or do I need to wait until I get back and make arrangements for her to get the last of her stuff and get the key back? Link to comment
Shaker Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 AllTornUp and Pisces, I moved very quickly out of the apt I lived in with my ex after the break-up and while he was away. It felt more symbolic than it probably should have at the time (when I signed papers, got new keys, gave away the old ones, tried to figure out where to store photos!)...but the longer I've been in this new space, the better I feel. It took about a week for this apartment to feel like home, or at least to know that I will feel that way as time passes. I don't miss living in the other spot anymore. This also took some time because I really liked where I was at and felt settled. AllTornUp: rearranging sounds like a good move. Pace yourself and tackle a room at a time. It's so easy to get overwhelmed. My ex who stayed put felt like he needed to fill the gaps of where my things had been. For him, dealing with the absense of things (including me, probably) was difficult. Early into Day 7 for me: I feel energized, and interested in getting some projects finished for work. I also have a meeting I haven't been looking forward to, but I feel good enough to take it on! What I did that's helped: slept last night, spent time with my roommate this morning, heard from my family, RECEIVED MY FIRST PIECE OF MAIL FOR ME at my new address. And it was a letter (not a bill). Link to comment
Shaker Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 AllTornUp, Sorry to intrude: when I had remnants left after my move and the keys, I didn't need to talk to my ex about it. I just went in one day when he was at work, got my stuff, and left the keys inside the door. He eventually found them! I vote to block her. Link to comment
Shaker Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Sandy and Parsley: How are you guys doing? Link to comment
AllTornUp Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Thanks, Shaker. And there was no intrusion! I post here because it helps and it helps to get responses. I'm glad you're feeling good about your move I'm not sure why I felt so good last night and not so good this morning. Maybe I let go last night and am trying to hold on again this morning.. Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 18, 2007 Author Share Posted January 18, 2007 Alltornup, Good morning and one major obstacle down ....good for you! I am glad you told the boys. I am sure this will help on your trip as well. I hope you have a great time..all of you. As for the blocking and deleting the number...etc etc.. You do what you want. Deleting someone DOESN'T mean anything. I will help you NOT to see that she is online. My answer is, if you don't want to know if she is online or not....delete it. As for the number, you do what you feel is necessary for you to move on. You can do it! -SuperDave71 Link to comment
AllTornUp Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 OK, I can leave her number in my phone as I don't have urges to call her. The IM thing is different, however. She IMs me periodically throughout the day with small talk. I told her yesterday I couldn't be just friends with her and she kind of blew it off saying sure I can. She took it as a sign of weakness, so I let it drop. If I block her, I believe it will appear to her that I'm offline. After a few days, she'll figure out that I've blocked her.. I guess regardless I need to think about me first.. Link to comment
Pisces_Princess Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Thanks everybody... I know that it was inevitable that I had to move on, it's just the thought of going through the boxes that are stored in my ex's loft. The last time I saw most of that stuff was in anticipation of my new life...think I am just feeling particularly blue today and I am really missing him x Link to comment
honeyspur Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 OK, I can leave her number in my phone as I don't have urges to call her. The IM thing is different, however. She IMs me periodically throughout the day with small talk. I told her yesterday I couldn't be just friends with her and she kind of blew it off saying sure I can. She took it as a sign of weakness, so I let it drop. If I block her, I believe it will appear to her that I'm offline. After a few days, she'll figure out that I've blocked her.. I guess regardless I need to think about me first.. Don't guess hon! KNOW it!!! Link to comment
AllTornUp Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 I just deleted and set my IM client to ignore her. Makes me sad all over again. I'm glad I did it now so it's done and I don't have to obsess about it. Link to comment
luvmykids Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Good morning all, I have read the posts. looks like today is the day of new beginnings for most of us in here. I woke up this morning and realized that I have actually moved on. (heartwise) I have known for some time that my ex and I just werent meant to be. I hung on..so did he. BUT... I still have this overwhelming urge to call him and say that Im done..I know, I know..I dont need to call him to tell him this.. I just feel like saying: last weekend made me realize somethings and this rollercoaster ride has come to an end..no hard feelings. do you guys think I should or just let it be? Maybe Im looking for the last word? thoughts anyone. Alltornup, I had a feeling your boys wouldnt care too much...they love their daddy more! hang in there. Link to comment
krnelson2 Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Good for you AllTornUp- This is a huge step...One I have been thinking about but dont think I will ever be able to do. You are truly a strong person and this shows how much you have healed. Keep it up!!! We are here for you. Link to comment
luvmykids Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 I just deleted and set my IM client to ignore her. Makes me sad all over again. I'm glad I did it now so it's done and I don't have to obsess about it. Good idea, When my ex was calling all the time..It just confused me to see the missed calls and made me want to talk to him even more....which led to my cave-in/ huge mistake! Link to comment
luvmykids Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Thanks everybody... I know that it was inevitable that I had to move on, it's just the thought of going through the boxes that are stored in my ex's loft. The last time I saw most of that stuff was in anticipation of my new life...think I am just feeling particularly blue today and I am really missing him x Is there his stuff in those boxes also? If not, then whats the hurry to go through them? BABY STEPS! That stuff has been in boxes how long now? do you really need it right now? Link to comment
AllTornUp Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Luv, I think you should maintain NC. It's good that you have let go I think I am letting go too, but mine seems to be more gradual.. I don't know. But I do feel stronger and I know I will get through this! We all will! Link to comment
luvmykids Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 I really dont want the "twinky treatment" from Dave. I would like to leave him a voicemail, but I know he will answer... I dont want to hear the disappointment in his voice. And yes, I understand that any disapointment on his part would be that his game is over.. I know he loves me but, I cant settle for less the I deserve. Link to comment
AllTornUp Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Good for you AllTornUp- This is a huge step...One I have been thinking about but dont think I will ever be able to do. You are truly a strong person and this shows how much you have healed. Keep it up!!! We are here for you. Thanks, krnelson. I had been putting everything off as I knew this day was coming. I feel like I'm getting all my ducks in a row before my trip. 1 - Say goodbye to my ex-g/f - CHECK 2 - Tell my kids that we broke up and she's moving out - CHECK 3 - Commence full NC - CHECK Link to comment
AllTornUp Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Oh, and krnelson, you can do anything! Just stop thinking about it and DO IT!! You'll be relieved after you do. Trust me. Link to comment
luvmykids Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Luv, I think you should maintain NC. It's good that you have let go I think I am letting go too, but mine seems to be more gradual.. I don't know. But I do feel stronger and I know I will get through this! We all will! This brake-up isnt sudden...been struggleing with it for months...everytime I walk away he comes chasing and I cave. No wonder my back hurts..Ive lost my spine!! Link to comment
luvmykids Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Thanks, krnelson. I had been putting everything off as I knew this day was coming. I feel like I'm getting all my ducks in a row before my trip. 1 - Say goodbye to my ex-g/f - CHECK 2 - Tell my kids that we broke up and she's moving out - CHECK 3 - Commence full NC - CHECK 4- Remember your and awsome man who deserves the best - CHECK Link to comment
AllTornUp Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 4- Remember your and awsome man who deserves the best - CHECK That's right! I would be a great catch for any girl Link to comment
AllTornUp Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 This brake-up isnt sudden...been struggleing with it for months...everytime I walk away he comes chasing and I cave. No wonder my back hurts..Ive lost my spine!! That has to be hard. I'm still in that "I'd take my ex back in a New York minute" stage myself. That will take some time to get past. I plan to take a few weeks to get used to being single again before trying to go on any dates. But then I will start trying to talk to girls and getting dates. That will be a whole other challenge as I've never done it before. I've been in exactly three relationships: 3yrs, 8yrs, 1.5yrs. And I met them through work, friends, and work. So I am by no standards a "player".. Link to comment
krnelson2 Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Well folks I'm back to day 1.... I sent the message this morning. I just woke up and had that empty feeling in my stomach that I havent felt in over a week. The only thing I could think about was sending her that last message for closure. But I feel so liberated now. Now that I told her that i cant be friends with her if she has a boyfriend and that we both need to live our own lives. I dont regret it. I just hope she gets the point and doesnt contact me until she is ready to get back together so I dont have to go through this again. Immediately after I sent it that empty feeling left my body and I was able to relax again...Sorry for letting everyone down, but hey its not like I only have 30 days to live. I can always start over. So today marks a new day, and day 1...AGAIN...of the challenge. I'm so proud of everyone for being so strong, and this is a great reminder of what i need to do. I didnt what I had to do now its back to the beginning, however I dont feel that way really. I havent talked to her in person in a long time and the messages are beginning to become further and further apart. A quick question though. Throughout all of this I have been having conversations with her best friend online. Is this a bad idea just to talk to her and see whats up? I have been friends with her since I have been with my ex and dont want to lose her as a friend too. Is it ok to talk to her best friend about my ex? Sorry SuperDave I know I let you down, but I'm back in now...ok? -KR Link to comment
Biffy Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Well that was awkward! My ex just got in the same elevator as me... Luckily there was a colleaugue in there as well who just chatted away at her. We said hello to each other and thats it. Boy, that brought back sso many emotions, was doing so well today too. Link to comment
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