wiley Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 Day 4 Been an okay day so far today, i'm kind of speaking to a new girl at the moment, but I don't know if it is a good idea or not seeing as im still in love with my EX. It kind of helps that there is someone new, but part of me just thinks im doing it to make myself feel better, I dont want a rebound relationship. I just want to be happy and move on. So i'll just have to take each day as it comes and hope for the best. Still check my phone every 10 mins to see if my ex has called, but thats normal I suppose. ](*,) Link to comment
and again Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Friday one wk to the day, Day so so slept ok, Night drink with mate he said how he thought i was stupid for being with her, now i agree, but stil gutted i couldnt fix a broken damaged person, and still feel a mug for ever believeing what she said , when she could walk away so easy. 4 out of ten Link to comment
SighSob Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Day 30+ now. It's still hard to deal with the break-up. She dumped me for another guy. I still don't get the reason. She dropped on me insane amounts of BS and she admitted it. Our mutual friends don't like her anymore and are all by my side - they see what she is doing now with her new boyfriend (if they're still together) - which makes me think she did something "wrong". I just miss the old-her, the one that was immensely sweet, caring and who loved me more than herself. I still don't get how could she jump from a life which revolved around me - and I seriously mean it - to a life where I don't exist at all. Our relationship wasn't healthy (she was too needy, I was too distant), but if she wasn't willing to make it work with me I guess there's something else. Maybe the attraction for this new guy...maybe she wasn't attracted to me anymore...maybe both. (I'm starting to vent...) Will she ever turn back into the person she used to be? How's the relationship with her new boyfriend going? Did she cheat on me? When did our relationship start to fall apart? Does she miss me? Do we have a chance to get back together? Why do my friends hate her now? What the hell has she done/is she doing? Did she stay with me just out of fear for loneliness? Did I stay with her just out of fear for loneliness? Do I want to believe we are meant to be together just because admitting that it wasn't love anymore would hurt too much? I don't know. I just know that when I see something that reminds me of the "old her" (pictures, gifts she gave me...) I can't help but cry like a baby. When I see something that reminds me of the "new her" I feel anger...and think "Am I really crying over this person? Screw her, she doesn't deserve it!". I was doing so well (well, sorta...), it's just that I ran into a super-sweet gift she gave and it did tear me apart. Link to comment
heaven66 Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Wow, I never thought I would have to do this with my SO...But here I am Saturday morning January 31st....I told him that I was backing away...told him not to contact me and this was going to be the last time he would see me..this was Wednesday night...things were just falling down hill so I had to do this...He said he was sorry he could not give me what I wanted at this moment in life...I lost my job 1 month ago and not knowing many people in this sity has me even more down....when i left he ran after me...I got in the car and left...he started to get in his car to go after me and then he stopped....the next day he called and I was still in shambles..he spent 1hr on the phone with me..he said no one will ever care for me and my daughter like he does....i let him go after 1 hr...he found out that my electricty had been turned off and he would call and beg to please give him the account number for him to pay..I SAID NOOOOO...he then called again that night and spent 2 hrs on the phone..we both cried,,I told him i was leaving the state..he said please let me see you guys b4 you leave..I said NOOOO. I have not contacted him this has been all him...he talked about me not loosing hope..to please not lose the faith of us ever being together..he kept wanting to talk to my daughter a few times..they also cried on the phone..my daughter told him "daddy i miss you" she calls him daddy..she loves him very much...he said princess me and your mom have some things to figure out first....just don't lose faith princess...So he called again yesterday after work..But i did not answer....Now what do i do? he keeps calling..should i just keep ignoring? Link to comment
tin_tin Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Day 4 Been an okay day so far today, i'm kind of speaking to a new girl at the moment, but I don't know if it is a good idea or not seeing as im still in love with my EX. It kind of helps that there is someone new, but part of me just thinks im doing it to make myself feel better, I dont want a rebound relationship. I just want to be happy and move on. So i'll just have to take each day as it comes and hope for the best. Still check my phone every 10 mins to see if my ex has called, but thats normal I suppose. ](*,) If this new girl is nice, and she likes you. Why not give her a chance? I think the best way to get over someone is to get under a new one, well that might just be me....... I read your recent thread about how your ex sent you abit of an evil text message. I got one like that 3 days ago. How long have you been broken up? Link to comment
rebelfac Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 I took her for granted but she did change. Once she made up her mind to leave she had no problem lying to me. She started having an emotional affair this summer. I never caught her look at another guy in the 14 years we were together. I learned recently the importance of affection and I was lacking in that department. I thought we were soul mates but now feel very disguarded. She is very happy and lives with him and is falling in love quickly. I so wish I did things differently. I never should have let her go to lunch too often with this guy. My daughter told me he makes her laugh and I see that he has a somewhat muscular build but doesn't beat me in looks or in the communication department. Having better communications would be impossible from my POV. He has the advantage of being the new guy. More passion, affection and likely sex. That must seem appealing to her but what about all of out memories? How can she throw that away so quickly? Link to comment
SighSob Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Same here. I don't know man. It's not just our fault though. I too wish I did things differently, but I think if they really cared about the relationship they would have given us another chance, instead of dumping us for someone else. I seriously hope they will ultimately realize that they made a mistake. I would have liked to date other girls too but I didn't dump (what I thought was) my soulmate just to experience new things. Anyways, what can we do? I'm not going to sit and wait for a "realization" (which honestly could never come or take years)...it hurts but we have to move on. Link to comment
and again Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Sighsob. I know exactly what you are going through, I keep thinking how can that girl who i gave my all to,, and who said she only wanted to be loved for the 1st time in her life walk away. how can someone who would txt me to tell me, thanks for understanding me i love you so much , walk away so easily.Ho can the girl who talked non stop about the future with me do that. There`s no one else involved, that im quite sure of, we never really rowed. Yet she can tell me no that she just wants to be on her own with her children and never to have a relationship of any kind with anyone ever again. I dont think i will ever work it out. Do i feel sorry for her because she is so messed up. Or do i hate her for cheating on my feeling`s. It hurts and i cant work it out. Link to comment
looking4ward Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Hi, Still day 2 for me - keep messing up. Well I'm going to be strong now. Have to- talking to him just makes me feel even worse in the end. -K Link to comment
wiley Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 If this new girl is nice, and she likes you. Why not give her a chance? I think the best way to get over someone is to get under a new one, well that might just be me....... I read your recent thread about how your ex sent you abit of an evil text message. I got one like that 3 days ago. How long have you been broken up? We have been broken up for about 6 weeks now I think, I just want to move on as im finally accepting that she is never coming back, but I think I should just sort myself out before entering another relationship as im still in love. My ex just jumped into a new relationship after 2 weeks without giving herself time to "adjust" after the breakup. I do not know if that was a bad move by her, but im not part of her life anymore. It maybe a lesson she has to learn. Maybe she was "over me" all the way back when she was thinking about ending it with me. Who knows... Link to comment
fiffy Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Day 30! Can't believe I made it. Feels a bit bitter sweet. Wish it didn'y have to be this way, but it has to. My next goal- 60days! Link to comment
Webslinger51 Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Day 30! Can't believe I made it. Feels a bit bitter sweet. Wish it didn'y have to be this way, but it has to. My next goal- 60days! Congratulations, Fiffy! I just got done with my 21st day of NC. Still miss her, but I'm "starting with the man in the mirror" now and getting a good workout routine going. Link to comment
and again Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 saturday day 8 , day so so, getting fed up of feeling fed up, at night wanted to go to a diffrent pub, but i wouldnt incase she was there, not up to bumping into her yet, i would have gone if knew for sure she wasnt out, when i do bump into her i want to have healed a lot more, and at the momment i couldnt handle it, and would probably have a go at her, for not putting any effort in and not acting on what she said. Link to comment
looking4ward Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Starting day 3. Last night was blah, some crying- drank a bit to feel numb... Not so healthy, oh well staying strong (ish). -K Link to comment
parlae Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 ok, i've read this thread MANY times. i keep telling myself, "i'm not doing that" lol because i know i've broken so easily in the past few days. its been about 11 days since i've been TRYING to do complete NC, but i break down and find any kind of reason to call/text. and it's not helping at all considering my ex NEVER answers. so i guess today, i'm finally deciding to go completely NC and hope and pray that it works. i miss him so much :sad: today is day one of the no contact challenge for me... *nervous* Link to comment
parlae Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Day 30! Can't believe I made it. Feels a bit bitter sweet. Wish it didn'y have to be this way, but it has to. My next goal- 60days! thats great! just wondering... has it "worked" for you?? has your ex tried getting you back or making contact at all? Link to comment
and again Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Day 9 really crappy day, might be because havent heard a thing off ex, but not really expecting to either. Just felt a lot more real today. Also sat around and moped all day and also very hung over which never helps. 3 0ut of 10 at best Link to comment
TLguy Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Well, a new day has just started. And Im going to go for it. 30 days no contact. That seems a long time...we'll see how I do. Here's to starting day one... Link to comment
heaven66 Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 I don't know how you guys do it..he keeps contacting me..he calls every day..he just called before going to bed....it's hard..sometimes i don't answer but I don't want to give gim the impression that Im cutting off ALL communications....HELPPPPPPPP Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Joining this thread!! Parlae - I'm Day 1 with you! Broke up initially almost 1 year ago, I did the dumping, got back together but not officially some months ago, he couldn't commit, don't think he trusts me again 100% or simple he has moved on, on monday he finally said he wanted to end things for good, on friday my friend saw him with the new girl that he had dumped to try again with me. I called VERY upset because he couldn't wait to get back with her... So basically, this week was HELL, friday made it ALL worse, yesterday was TERRIBLE because for the first time we are in a fight because I acted out... I don't know if starting NC this way is the best but I need to let him go for now... NC DAY ONE - I'm feeling horrible. Guilty over dumping him 1 year ago. What was I thinking??? I lost him for good!!!?? My mind can't stop overanalysing. Link to comment
wiley Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Day 7.... I would never have thought I would have lasted this long! Still wake up every morning thinking of her, that sucks. Its her birthday on wednesday, I thought maybe dropping some flowers round to her place when she's not in or something?? Does that count as contacting her? I wouldnt see her face to face... Just thought it would be a nice gesture etc.. What do you people think/suggest? Bad idea? Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 I gave in today and e-mailed the ex. Pretty harsh e-mail... very childish. - 100 points. For some reason, I feel stronger though and ready to move on now. He replied and I deleted it instantly. Starting over. 02/02/09 - Day 1 Link to comment
parlae Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Day 2 - still feeling somewhat confident that he'll be back but not as much as yesterday. i still miss him like hell love stinks lol Link to comment
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