KaylaJoy Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Seems to me that this guy is more in love with the IDEA of being in love than with the person he is with. I could never understand people who jump from one (supposedly) meaningful relationship to the next. Im thinking even though you have every reason to be hurt and angry over the fact he got over you so fast, you are much better off without him. I really doubt he would have loved you the way you deserve to be loved Thanks! I appreciate that. I checked John's MySpace page today, only because I was showing a friend who had met him also, how much he had changed, (and I don't plan on making a habit of that), but anyway, he had written another blog about how God had brought them together, and how wonderful it was to be in love with your best friend, blah blah blah. At this point I think he's lost his mind...I went back and read a blog he wrote in DECEMBER about how much he loved me, blah blah blah....I'm sorry...in my book of rules on love, it don't change that fast!! You don't go from saying one woman is "THE ONE" to a few months later saying another woman (Who happens to be the exact polar opposite of woman #1) is a gift from God, and God brought them together, etc. Truth of the matter is, I think he must have had a thing for her the whole time he was telling me how I shouldn't worry about their friendship because she was the last woman on earth he'd ever date! I gotta be honest...I'm hurt tonight. I felt betrayed in a way. It's almost laughable, because it's ludicrous to me for a grown man to switch train tracks that fast, but it still hurts that he's even using the same lines on her. He made me fell so special when we were together, and somehow he's managed to take that away by all this. It makes me feel very expendable. Link to comment
bepositive Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 I hear ya, KJ... I know my ex felt the same way about me when we first met as she does about the rebound now. And there's a lot of stuff I've done to support her over our two years that the rebound hasn't had to deal with. I'm hoping that she'll realize that over time. And as someone else has said, I hope she realizes that the grass really isn't greener on the other side of the fence. I really miss her tonight. I had to travel for work this week, and she used to drop me off and pick me up at the airport. She even did it right before she went to see him again (LDR), right after our near-reconciliation. I know she's still too wrapped up in me to have another relationship, but it has to run its course. Big hug. Link to comment
Samurai Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Day 16 Well into the acceptance stage now, just needing to get past these feelings of loneliness and boredom. Watched the movie Sideways, which is a classic, I'd recommend it to anyone who wants a good laugh. Link to comment
qwerty1984 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 i told him i would speak to him after a month - in seven days i saw him on sat night at a party, all we said was hi and bye, i couldn't take any more - only shots! i am still totally obsessed with him and want to make him change his mind... i think he still loves me...i just have this feeling i can't shake he leaves the country in 6 weeks...i want to go with him, i'd give up everything! Help me! Link to comment
Abbie Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Day 13 ... ... Last night I felt quite positive for some reason and felt that I could get through this and have a happy life without him. This morning the panic has set in again and I have that awful feeling in my stomach. I know this is going to sound extremely unhealthy and selfish but I would love to have a rebound just to distract me from the pain even though it would be worse in the long run. Today my plan is to actually do some work and to look for a cheap little run around car. I can't really afford one but my ex now has the car that we shared and the lack of independence is getting me down also. A part-time job may also be in order to pay for the car and to get me out and about. I have to let go of him and move on as it's me that's hanging on to the sadness and pain. I hold the key to getting rid of it. I have to accept things and let him go. I have to accept it. I HAVE TO ACCEPT IT!!!!! Link to comment
Panda2008 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 OK I am officially rubbish at NC! Broke it today to email him and ask for the contact details of someone who works at his firm, to chase up a job, and told him I had had a mortgage approved and was looking for a flat. He replied with the person's info, and said he had found a flatshare, which happens to be a short bus ride away from where our shared flat is, and the area where I will be buying. I feel stupid for feeling hopeful again about the future, when the facts speak for themselves: apart from a couple of emails and one text, he has not initiated contact with me since we split up. That means he is moving on. Link to comment
needhimso Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Oddly enough, I feel like I've done a complete turn around. I'm still thinking about him constantly, but it doesn't hurt as much. I'm obviously by no means over it or healed, but it's a very weird feeling. I'm still wondering how I compare to the new girl and if they've had sex or anything, but I'm trying to push that out of my mind. I can't focus on this. I need to get myself back and start loving myself again. I've pretty much made up my mind that I'm going to move closer to him to go to school regardless of how things turn out with him. I've also decided to work on myself, and blowing his mind if/when he wants to see me when I go there in a few months would be a pretty good bonus. It's weird, but I feel like a completely different person from a few days ago. I still want to talk to him and tel him I love him, but I'm trying to accept that he needs to do what he needs to do. I need to work on myself. Maybe this is what we need to be able to have a stronger relationship. That's what I'm hoping for. I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I'm sure I sound delusional to some extent, but I do think it will happen. Either way I want to get to the point where I'm ok with myself no matter what. Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Wow....and God brought them together too ??? Did "God" intend for him to hurt you as well ??? It bugs me even more when people pretend that the origin of their behavior is "Godly". Grrrrrrr. My last boyfriend (LDR) pretended that I he was committed to me....I later found out that he had been "collecting" girls on dating sites (and most probably in real life too). Im most angry about the fact that until now he doesnt see anything wrong with his behavior. Now I feel like everything was a waste coz looking back, our whole relationship feels like a huge lie So I guess I know how you feel.....its been a year since its over and Im still angry at him !! Link to comment
EddieAdams Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Day 2 She emailed me 7 days ago saying she would call me when she wan't sick. She left for Ireland today for 11 days......so those 11 days should be much easier for me. She can't read an email if I send it, and she can't read a text if I send that.......what a relief. Link to comment
KaylaJoy Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Wow....and God brought them together too ??? Did "God" intend for him to hurt you as well ??? It bugs me even more when people pretend that the origin of their behavior is "Godly". Grrrrrrr. My last boyfriend (LDR) pretended that I he was committed to me....I later found out that he had been "collecting" girls on dating sites (and most probably in real life too). Im most angry about the fact that until now he doesnt see anything wrong with his behavior. Now I feel like everything was a waste coz looking back, our whole relationship feels like a huge lie So I guess I know how you feel.....its been a year since its over and Im still angry at him !! That's exactly how I feel, like our relationship must have been a huge lie, if he could change that fast. I think I grieve over him more than anything, because he was such an everyday part of my life, and I considered him such a rock in my life. He claims to be a minister, is 54 years old, yet is being led by his bottom brain instead of the one on top of his head, and I feel sad that he is so misled by his own actions. And like yours, he doesn't think there is anything wrong with what he's done, and that he is totally justified. I don't hate him, I still miss him, but I know that God rescued me from getting any further into that relationship. I feel sorry for him in a way, I do believe he was probably looking for something to sooth his wounded ego, and they had been very close for quite a while, even while we were dating. He was very good to me while we were together, but dropped me like a hot potato later, probably about the time he started becoming more involved with her. Then after he got in good with "her", he wanted to be friends with me, and I just can't do it. Not because I still have a thing for him, but because I am still hurt and feel betrayed, and he cannot be the friend to me I once thought him to be, and I don't think I can accept less than that right now. I lost all the way around on this one it looks like. Link to comment
silentrecon487 Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Blehh, she's trying to talk. She IMed me and I just ignored her, now I feel like an * * * * * * * . Link to comment
KaylaJoy Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 It's day 20 of NC for Mark. Boy do I miss him. Wish I could just sit and talk to him, not about anything in particular, just sit on the front porch like we used to, sharing fun things and serious things. Wish I could feel his arm around me, playing with my hair, stroking my arm. Wish I could lean against his chest one more time and hear his heartbeat again. Wish I could feel the scruff of his stubble against my cheeks just one more time. Wish I could have had his heart...wish he would have given me a chance. Yet even as I say that I know that had it been God's will, things would have been different. I have to trust that what I committed to God He will keep. Still I miss him, and I grieve over him; I grieve over the loss of hope. I always knew him loving me for the long ride was a long shot, the signs were evident of that, but I always had hope. I always hoped that something would click, and I wouldn't just be the girl he hooked up with one summer, but I would be the girl he could never get out of his mind. Instead, when it was all said and done, and he had his fill of the fun, he told me that I was too old, had a kid, and bottom line was he didn't love me. He wasn't mean about it, mind you. I asked him specifically if these things were why he wouldn't give me a chance, and he said yes to all of the above. Then after I read the emails a few weeks ago that he sent to his first girlfriend, and saw all the "baby I love you's", I realized exactly what I represented to him all the time we were together...and I have no words right now to adequately describe how it made me feel. To say I felt a huge sense of loss is an understatement. It was like being blind and seeing the world for the first time, only realizing the world is cold and ugly and dark, not pretty, green and blue like you thought. It broke me. So yeah, I grieve. I miss him so much. I miss the hope of him. I miss just being close to him, literally. Just sitting beside him on the couch, his arm around me, my head on his shoulder. I miss who I thought he was, and how I hoped he might feel. I miss how I felt when I was in his arms. I'm just so tired of losing all the time. Link to comment
KaylaJoy Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Blehh, she's trying to talk. She IMed me and I just ignored her, now I feel like an * * * * * * * . I feel for ya, I really do. There's nothing worse than trying to get over someone, and TRYING to stay away from them, and they won't leave you alone. Hang in there! Link to comment
Samurai Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Day 17 now, starting to get slightly numb to it all. Link to comment
GoldenHillGuy Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Well.......She broke NC. She texted me to tell me she hopes my family and friends are fine after the tornados in Indiana. Now, these storms were about 3 hours south of where my family is. She has my family's address. Do I tell her everyone is OK, or do I assume its just an excuse to contact me? GRRRR........NC was starting to get fun! Link to comment
Abbie Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Day 14 ... ... I can't believe that I've made it a fortnight. It's the longest we've been out of contact with each other since we began our relationship. I feel so sad that it's come to this and desperately want him back more than anything. However, I'm starting to see that I can have a life without him in it. I don't feel so lost anymore although I still feel somewhat broken. Link to comment
donescobar2000 Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Broke NC - I did it...I still would like to work it out with her. At this point all I know is she is mad because she feels I stopped talking to her. She said to me she never wanted to move on...but at this point she said she no longer has the same goal as me (getting back together). Maybe she is speaking out of anger...I don't know. At this point. If she wants to talk I am open to it...but as far as asking her out I am not doing that. I am not talking about relationship anymore either. All she needs to do is realize that I do care. I have made it clear to her that I no longer know what to do to help us. I am working on myself with my therapy and my reading. I will be going out to clubs, lounges, etc. to keep my mind off things. I have no intentions on dating or anything...It is about ME and being a better person and not worrying about the relationship like I did before. She went out of the country to the Dominican Republic for the weekend...she said she talk to me when she returns. We shall see what happens thereafter. Link to comment
Priphea Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Just started NC with my ex after visiting her in Texas. She's young and not ready for a relationship -- possibly with anyone, but I'm struggling to come to terms with that. I decided to NC to keep my sanity and move on for myself. Link to comment
bepositive Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Two weeks since my ex broke NC and I returned her call (kept it short, though). Ex, I still love you, and you are the world to me. I know that you think your new guy "moves heaven and earth to be with you," but that's because he has no other choice; I would do the same. If we were hiking in the great white north as you would like to do, if I had to I would stop and fight the bear so you could get away. If you have children with someone else and it doesn't work out, I know I could love your children as my own, just like your stepfather loves you as his own, because your children would be a part of you. We grew so much during our two years together, I want to see us continue. I'm seeing other women right now to keep myself occupied, but someday, I know we'll be back together. Thanks for letting me get that out, everyone. Link to comment
needhimso Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 I miss him terribly, but I'm trying to be positive. I don't really have any interest in breaking NC right now. I just miss everything about him. It's really hard because we would be spending time together right now if we were still together. We always spent the summer together. It will be rough. It's still hard not to think about him with his new girl, but I keep reminding myself that it's a rebound relationship and there's no way they can have what we had because he barely knows her. I do think he'll be back when he finds out we belong together and realizes what he's giving up, but I know he has to figure that out for himself. Link to comment
tushboy Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Day 4 Missed him like CRAZY today....was almost tempted to call but didn't give in. It rained a lot, with thunder and clouds..this weather is the worst for a breeak up....so gloomy and grey and cloudy....wondered what he was doing....did he get wet ? Cried a lot....today hasn't been a great day. Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Day 21 Really miss her. Wish I could just call and tell her how much I miss her and want her. I wonder if she's thinking the same? I wonder if she misses me too? Where are you sweetie? How are you today? Link to comment
bepositive Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 I'm traveling for work this week, and really miss my ex dropping me off and picking me up at the airport, so happy to see me home. Link to comment
KaylaJoy Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 Day 21...I miss him...at a loss for words today... Link to comment
tushboy Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 Day 5 Just woke up. Wanted to hit the gym but it's raining and me feeling a bit low. I hate it when my day begins with his thoughts. I will finish a week of NC in 2 days. It will be a week, it feels like years! I don't know how these days will pass...isn't my first time with NC..it's my second attempt...but this one seems much tougher...wonder what he's upto....wonder if he's still wearing the watch I bought him when we got together....wonder if he's eating on time and taking care of his health...miss him. . . . a lot. Link to comment
Recommended Posts