THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[KaylaJoy]

NC day 22 for John, day 9 for Mark. Mark is still the hard one. He's the one I wanted for so long. I'm not sure how to even stop wanting him. I just know I'm so ashamed for the hope that I invested in him, feel so foolish at this point, that it's not hard to do NC, because I don't want to humiliate myself any more. Still I can't stop thinking about him. Wondering what he's doing, where he's at, do I even cross his mind?

there are gentle things I miss about John, places we went, things we talked about, the way he catered to me. He took me to Luckenbach, Texas last June, we had so much fun at that little hole in the wall. We went windowshopping in Fredericksburg. He made me pancakes for breakfast. Little things. KNowing he's doing the same for her now. That part hurts. But it's not that digging pain I get from Mark, just more that I miss him. With Mark, I feel lost in a way, like I'm floating around in space, and don't know how to get settled without him. Afraid to touch ground. Knowing that the passion I felt for him may never be equaled, that's hard. Never feeling a kiss like that again, or know what it's like to feel magic just at the touch of his hand, that's tough. That's the loss that I feel. Afraid that I'll never feel that way again.

[silentrecon487]

ughh this is driving me crazy. I want to reply to her text so badly

[Panda2008]

Back to day 1 tomorrow as I sent him a text about the cat. ARGH! Why is this so difficult? I only managed 2 days this time (longest 6 - broken by him).

[dqueen]

Only 3 days left until I accomplish one month of NC! This has been the longest month of my life. I'm still sitting on my hands, but they are shaking. Hopefully, they will just go numb and fall off at some point.

[KaylaJoy]

Day 23 of NC for John...getting easier, although I still miss him. Afraid to check out his MySpace page though, too afraid of what I might find, they may have already tied the knot, not ready to hear that just yet....think I will continue my NC for awhile...but really I think I'm fine at this point.

Day 10 for Mark. Feel like my emotions are kind of suspended at this point, don't quite know how to feel, just taking it a day at a time. I miss him, but I'm still reeling from my humiliating discovery, so I'm not ready to make contact anyway.

[dqueen]

Kayla, why NC with two people? That's double the torture.

[Sickboy48]

6 months and no contact. All is well and am happy.

[Abbie]

Day 4 ...

 

... I went to stay with friends over the weekend and had a really fun time. However, once I got home last night I cried for 2 hours. I had this unrealistic notion in my head that he would have met me off the train to declare his undying love or would have popped something through my letterbox. I knew I was deluding myself but I can't stop hoping and fantasising about him coming back to me. I keep checking my mobile to see if he's texted me or if I'd had a missed call.

 

I always prided myself on being strong and independent but somehow I've allowed him to take that part of me away with him. I've become pathetic and weak which are qualities I have always despised in other people. Was my strength only an illusion? I don't know how to get it back. I know that this is now the time for concentrating on myself but I lack the motivation to do it and only wish to wallow in self pity which is counter-productive and not attractive.

[Jinky]

Should have went NC sooner. Now she isnt responding and it hurts. I dont know why the pain isn't going?

 

She has never stopped making me smile.

[helplesslyhoping]

This is soooooooo not fair! I have a kid with him and we have no choice but to talk at least 3-4 times a week.

NOT FAIR!!!!!!!

[KaylaJoy]

Kayla, why NC with two people? That's double the torture.

 

Geesh! You're telling me! I was in love with Mark and had a relationship of sorts with him two years ago (I had a thing for him for years before though) - we broke it off and have danced some sort of "maybe baby" dance ever since. In the meantime last year, more or less to get over Mark, I started dating this guy named John. We got pretty serious, but I could never get over my feelings for Mark, who I still talked to as friends, and due to a variety of reasons told John I could not marry him. John and I remained close until Valentine's Day of this year. Valentine's Day he told me nothing had changed, he still loved me and wanted to marry me. My answer was still no, not because I didn't care about him a great deal, I did, but among other things I knew I couldn't marry him if I was still having feelings/thoughts about Mark. So 11 weeks later John got engaged to someone else. And that bites! We got really close, and for him to just up and get engaged to someone else 11 weeks later just floored me. So now I'm dealing with anger/hurt over the break up with Mark, and my relationship with him, but I was just hurt that John up and got engaged so very fast to someone else after wanting to marry me. I cared for him, loved him to an extent, but my heart was still tied up in knots over Mark. I was OK with letting John go, but it just hurt my feelings that he so quickly switched tracks and moved onto someone else, and I've had a lot of residual feelings of anger and betrayal because of that.

Mark is an entirely different story. Mark is my hearts pain right now. Mark is the one guy way down deep inside I've wanted for years. I moved on last year out of rebound, (bad move), but really did come to care for John, just didn't love him like a woman should love her husband. My hurt with John came in because he swore he loved me like no other, would never love anyone as much, I was the one he had waited on, blah blah blah, and 11 weeks later was apparently telling that to someone else, which made me feel like our whole relationship was a fraud. Thus the betrayal.

So yeah, I do have two hurts, but the heartbreaker, the pain, is from Mark. He's the one who just kills me inside.

[KaylaJoy]

Day 24 for John...no big deal...didn't even miss him today.

 

Day 11 for Mark, sorta, but not really....he was at the church picnic today...I avoided him as much as possible, but he did walk over to me at one point, and wave, and I waved back, but said nothing, then he walked away.

Then later, he came up to me and asked how I was doing in a very formal tone, and since we were around other people, I felt like I couldn't ignore him, so I said fine, and he said it was getting hot out, and I said yeah it was, and he walked away.

So does that count as breaking NC?? I avoided him personally, and only spoke what was absolutely necessary to him to avoid an issue.

And knowing Mark like I know him, he got the point, and I doubt that he makes another single effort. Maybe ever. So NC may never be an issue again at this point for the rest of my life, because when he is snubbed, which I basically did today, he will walk away without a look back, and so I kinda think that after today, I won't hear from him again...he knows I snubbed him...it probably irritated him enough to where he thought screw her, and I doubt he will ever give me a second thought.

So NC should be a breeze from here on out, and I think I'll keep my Day 11...after all, I didn't contact him!!

[Abbie]

Day 5 ...

 

... I saw him yesterday. He passed me in what used to be our car when I was walking home after work. I wasn't 100% sure if he saw me or not as the sun got in my eyes but I smiled and waved anyway. About half an hour later, I got a text message from him saying that he hadn't noticed me until he'd already passed me and saw me wave out of the corner of his eye. I haven't responded and am not going to even though I want nothing more than to speak to him just so I can hear his voice. His mother phoned last night so I spoke to her but I tried to keep the conversation away from the relationship. She did ask questions about it but I answered them as tactfully and vaguely as I could while trying to change the topic back to something general. After ignoring his text, I felt a bit better as I was taking some control but then speaking to his mother brought me down again as it just reminded me of what I was missing.

 

I love him so much but I have to start forcing myself to move on.

[bepositive]

Day 6 since my ex broke NC... Dropped my mother off at the airport yesterday morning, having her around helped a lot. She's been very supportive, and even though she throws a few "find the right version of (the ex) for you" in there, she thinks my ex is missing me and needs to run through her rebound relationship to know for sure. I also had a date last night. No substitute for the ex, but cute and fun to talk to, and we had a good time.

[Annonomous]

Well i dont have a clue what day im on, it has been on and off in terms of contact from her to myself, however i am now officially over her. I have no desire for her anymore, i have tried being friends and she still holds bitter childish grudges and so i cant even be bothered with that. I wish her best in her life, it was for the best we went our separate ways, i am moving on very well, have met a few nice girls recently, been on a few dates and am happy with myself again. She i feel has probably been doing the same and i wish her the best in finding someone more suited to her.

 

At this point i would like to say thanks for making this post, it has helped me a lot and will help many others to come and i hope all of you are soon happy and moved on, or back with your respective ex's. Honestly right now it may seem like there is only one person out there for you and you have lost them, but give it a while and your confidence will come back and you will realise that person who was once your everything is probably not the one for you. GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!

[Mustang]

I think I am going to get back on the NC wagon.

[dqueen]

Wow Kayla, I can't imagine how hard that is for you. i know what you mean about always having that soft spot for a person...there is always someone you can never forget or fall out of love with. But it looks like you're doing great...keep it up!

 

I have only ONE more day left until I complete 30 Days of NC. I can't tell you how hard it's been. I was having so many urges to contact him that I was at the point of asking my sibling to put a password lock on the computer so I wouldn't be tempted to get on. Huff huff! I did it! Almost. And today is 9 months since the break-up. I'm okay.

[KaylaJoy]

Wow Kayla, I can't imagine how hard that is for you. i know what you mean about always having that soft spot for a person...there is always someone you can never forget or fall out of love with. But it looks like you're doing great...keep it up!

 

I have only ONE more day left until I complete 30 Days of NC. I can't tell you how hard it's been. I was having so many urges to contact him that I was at the point of asking my sibling to put a password lock on the computer so I wouldn't be tempted to get on. Huff huff! I did it! Almost. And today is 9 months since the break-up. I'm okay.

 

Thanks dqueen...I understand the password lock thing...I may need that myself! it's so weird...I actually think I might stop the whole NC challenge for John once I hit 30 days, although EVERY SINGLE DAY just about I want to check out his and her MySpace page, just out of curiosity, but I think it's best for me that I don't, so even though I may not officially be tallying up the days, I will probably still continue.

As for Mark, I can't lie...it's tough...I guess I loved him more than I thought was possible. He's not the cutest (although he is cute) and he's not the best built (last weigh-in was somewhere close to 400 lbs I believe, but he's really tall, so he gets by with it a little better than most would), he's a smartA**, he's rude sometimes, he's not been as gentlemanly as he should have been all the time...however, he's always clean, smells good, which is hard for big men sometimes, beautiful piercing blue eyes, blond hair, luscious lips (and oh what a kisser!), soft voice, he just has a way that gets me like no one has ever done before. He has random acts of kindness that melt me. He has momentary lapses of judgment that infuriate me, humiliate me, and perplex me. He is like Shrek, an onion with many many layers!

(sigh) So my NC for him will probably have to last for a very long time. Even though he spoke to me at the picnic yesterday, I only responded out of sheer necessity, so I think I am still in NC. I haven't checked out his MySpace, haven't texted, emailed, or called in 12 days. 12 days down, and how many hundreds to go before I'm over him?

[dqueen]

I did it! Only 14 more hours until I reach 30 days of NC! Yes, I have been counting down the hours too. How lame of me. :splat:

[Abbie]

Day 6 ...

 

... last night I started to feel more positive and bought lots of fruit and vegetables as I need to get healthier. My diet has suffered recently as my head has been all over the place and my body is paying the price. I've lost a stone and my skin has deteriorated. I've developed some kind of dry skin/rash on my stomach but I suspect it's a stress thing (I have a doctors appointment this afternoon). My plan was to do excercises this morning before work but when it came to the crunch, I couldn't get out of bed early enough.

 

Even though it's a step in the right direction, I'm not really doing it for myself. I'm still of the mindset that I'm doing it for him as I want him to see me in tip top condition to increase the chance of him coming back to me. However, I'm hoping that this will gradually change and I'll be doing it for me.

[Abbie]

dqueen - what will you do once you officially hit the 30 day mark? Will you continue NC or not? I'm interested as I'm not sure what I'm going to do once I successfully complete the challenge and am curious as to what other people do.

[Jinky]

Day 2, again. She text me a reply from sunday, yesterday. I swore on monday i'd keep NC. I mean it this time. So i amn't texting her back.

 

 

[jiangkejia]

Day 17. Broke NC through msn.

[SingleAgain34]

My ex narcissist has moved on and found someone else within weeks after he broke up with me. I requested politely but firmly to cut all the contact with me after he tried several times to "talk" and convince me that we should remain "friends".

 

Recently I received a text from a my ex wishing me a happy birthday. Day 15.

 

I wish I could say thank you but that would only be a supply reaction to someone like him. Nothing else. I won't give in. Right?

[feelingweak]

I am starting your new challenge today. I was involved with a somatic narcissist God what a WOMAN HATER . Bastard would keep asking me "what I like about sex with him" I told him I was uncomfortable with that question. I could tell he was dying to gain knowledge to use on other girls. He likes porn, nude young girls pics "teen girls" uses porn images to work himself up to find his pray.I'm afraid he will abuse so many young girls the younger the more naive