THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[theredrocket]

day 6, 39 to go

 

I've almost made it a week! The weekend has been much harder because I am not in my routine

 

also the unknown is starting to get to me, what is she up to? does she think about me? does she miss me? etc

[Mustang]

Day 25

 

I am very hungover today. I am amazed that I have almost made it through a month. I never thought I'd be able to do it. So it shows that I have made some progress.

 

Obviously I still think of my ex but I definitely think that NC has helped. LC wasn't working.

 

I do still hope to be with my ex again but I have accepted that I have to let it go.... for now. As people have said a lot recently, if we were to get back together it would have to be a new relationship. Right now, I don't think I'm the person I want to be.

 

I do plan to contact my ex at some point but I am worried that I will look weak and her reaction will make me go back to square one.

[ramsickle1369]

DAY 28... four weeks

 

I haven't contacted him. I miss him. I too know I will contact him at some point. It's hard to believe I believed all his stupid lies and I realize now that I knew they were lies, but I was too lost in my own emotional hangover from my divorce to even address the lies. So I ignored them... largely because I didn't care about him that way back then. Now I don't think I can ever trust any man. My track record proves that trusting them is my downfall...

 

Mustang, when you say hung-over, is that from drinking or is it an emotional hangover? I have the emotional hang over and I'm just curious. Course, the occasional drunken hangover is warranted, too...

 

Day 25I do plan to contact my ex at some point but I am worried that I will look weak and her reaction will make me go back to square one.

 

I don't think it makes you weak to reach out to someone you love. Even though we likely will not get the response we hope for, because if that was a possibility, we wouldn't have had to go to such extremes as to go NC in the first place. You're right in thinking that the reaction will make you take two steps back--I don't think it will make you go back to square one, tho. It only proves the reason we must remain in NC--because our hearts cannot handle the rejection any longer. At some point, so people say, it won't MATTER what they do or don't do... Someday....

[pumpkinmoon]

Mustang,

 

Well if you wait long enough her reaction probably wont matter to you as much

[brian123]

Day 27 of NC...

 

Everyday is still getting a bit easier. Still miss her. Still VERY confused. In all seriousness, if anyone can top my breakup for weirdness level, I will buy them a cake.

[Ashsun87]

Day 31...

 

I should have celebrated yesterday, and I guess I did. I got drunk with my buddies, lol.

 

I still miss her, I'm still confused, I still don't understand why she left, I still don't understand why she isn't with me right now sitting on my lap.

 

Ya know, I'm trying to be optimistic... i really am... but saying these are "hard times" is a gross understatement.

 

I HAVE stayed strong though, I have NOT contacted her, and I am proud of myself.

 

Here's to another 30 days!

[pumpkinmoon]

woo hoo good on you and well done

[Litgirl01]

I am at a month and a half. Have found myself panicking...wanting to email him or something so I can hear from him. I also find myself justifying some of his actions...thinking he is just human, perhaps I overreacted to some things. I miss him. I wish I could tell him. I think that he is angry with me, and won't try to contact me anymore because I blocked him from my life. Rationally, I know he has commitment conflicts (even his family says so). My heart, though, misses him terribly!

[pumpkinmoon]

do you think you will ever contact him again litgirl?

[Litgirl01]

Hi shoe! I had a bit of a contact with him about him sending my stuff back. Apparently he sent me an email but I didn't get it. Then I got this:

 

T,

 

Please confirm that you got my e-mail about sending your stuff back,wouldn't want to think you've forked out on new stuff when the other stuff is coming! Sorry for my insensitivity in my exuberance in the last message,just pleased to hear that you are still alive.Parcel was sent on 14th of April,they said it should take 15 days maximum. I will try and get all your other stuff back to you when funds allow.

 

D

 

COLD! I then sent an email telling him not to worry about the big things and haven't heard anything back.

[pumpkinmoon]

ARSEHOlE!!! can understand why you havent bothered contacting him. How formal does he want to be?

[Litgirl01]

I think he was oneupping me for being formal in my email! He is immature that way! He will just continue to hurt me. This is the part that struck me as strange (I didn't get this message).

 

Sorry for my insensitivity in my exuberance in the last message,just pleased to hear that you are still alive

[pumpkinmoon]

did he expect you to kill urself or something?

[Litgirl01]

I hope not! LOL I never threatened to! I think he was being facetious! I blocked him and his mother told him about it! In other words..you don't hear from someone then one day they call you and you say...gee I'm glad you're alive! Thanks for not contacting me! That's how he meant it!

[pumpkinmoon]

ah i see, silly me lol

[ifloatabove]

NC for about...6 days but a bit longer if you count not talking between the breakup and him just seeing me to give me my things. If they contact you and you talk, is it still NC?

 

I've had my ups and downs but mostly, still in a bad place. In time...shall healing come, I suppose.

[pumpkinmoon]

I think its fine if it was just to get ur things, not like you contacted because of weakness

[Litgirl01]

I wanted him to think about me...let's face it, I wanted to hear from him!

[pumpkinmoon]

You dont want him back though do you litgirl? Think I remember u saying this once

[Litgirl01]

I wish! But, unfortunately, he has major commitment issues! So, it wouldn't work would it. I still love him though! Very painful!

[pumpkinmoon]

yeah I know Thing that bugs me about commitment issues is that they're gonna have to commit someday otherwise they're gonna end up alone!!!

[Litgirl01]

He will find someone and marry her probably...but I doubt he will ever REALLY be commited! He cheated on his wife and ex girlfriend! I'm not quite sure if he cheated on me. I know he was flirting because he was getting phone numbers at the club!

[postscript]

round 2, day 3

 

NC was ALMOST broken last night.

He texted me last night pretty late whilst I was out having fun with friends.

He was exceptionally unhappy, he told me that he was going crazy missing me,

that it was sending him over the edge and he didn't know if he could "go on".

That message angered me, but hey, I was pretty drunk and already on a high so I

didn't let it get me down!

Usually I am the one who he confides in, I was ALWAYS there to pick him up from

a heap on the floor, kiss him on the forehead, and tell him everything is going to be

alright, but this time I stood my ground.

He hasn't been there for me the past four weeks when I have been at my lowest,

so why should I have been there for him this time round?

Then he messaged me saying, "Kim I just hope you still love me, and want to be with me"

which frustrated me again; is he an absolute idiot? Doesn't he know that?!

He surely doesn't need to be re-assured that I love him, because I tell him often.

 

I've decided to go LC as he is slowly letting me back in his life, and I feel that to some

degree, I should be there for him because no one else is, and we have a lot of social

outings coming up that involve seeing eachother I just have to be the strong one, that doesn't cave.

[MeSilly]

Day 13 -- Sundays are a little bit easier. Tomorrow we have class, so I suspect (hope) that we both dutifully studied and nothing else. I've realized how much it bothers me thinking you may be spending your time with someone else. I went to Borders today and I'm not sure what I dreaded most: seeing you, even if with someone else or not seeing at all. I'm glad I didn't see you, I couldn't have dealt with the first option. I still love you.

[Mustang]

Day 26

 

I'm really missing her today. The thing is, I know I can't contact her because I am not ready. I know that if I was to contact her now I would look weak and I would once again read into everything she says and try to find answers. I want to be the person I used to be. I am trying very hard to get my life together again.

 

My ex did tell me that she'd give me as much time as I wanted until if/when I wanted to contact her again. So she won't contact me no matter what happens. I think that makes it worse in a way.

 

We used to best friends too and it kills me that we have nothing now.

 

That said, whenver I do think about contacting her I also think of her and her new guy. I'll feel like an annoying ex. You know how it is when you start seeing someone new. You don't leave each other's sight and everything is great. They are probably having great fun and yes, having sex. I am becoming a distant memory. But at the same time, I have no choice. If I contact now whilst she's happy with someone else (I assume she is) then she will just roll her eyes at the thought of me contacting her again.

 

Plus even if I am ready to contact her just as friends I expect she will be cold with me again anyway because she will assume that I have an agenda.

 

I just wish for some "normality" for once.