lexion Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 still day 1 i wen't to sleep thinking i don't need her and waking up to missed her so bad do people really got through this? is it suppose to be this hard? i feel empty everytime i wake up Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 lexion - YES and YES!!!! You are going through NORMAL reactions and NORMAL feelings!! Take it as it comes and keep up with your reading, ok? Great thread going on with SamT here - also Gravelove's amazing post I linked above - powerful stuff! My thougts and prayers are with you....... Link to comment
LilBear Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 I just realized that my NC record is 18DAYS...I am on Day 15...Hurts so much. I hope she breaks NC like before. later all... What I just don't get is, why do people doing NC hope that they ex will break NC? Any reasons? Link to comment
lexion Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 >honeyspur thank you, thank God for Internet Link to comment
lexion Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 still day 1 a friend of mine told me that you need to spoil yourself after you got through x day like, you promise yourself that if you could get through 1 week, you'll buy that shoes you liked so much, or something like that then set it higher and higher, first 1 week, then 2 weeks, then maybe 1 month i'm trying this, i think i'lll start with 3 days Link to comment
GameX Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 What I just don't get is, why do people doing NC hope that they ex will break NC? Any reasons? LilBear, my guess is that those people are doing NC in hopes that it will help them get back with their ex. The hope that by going NC, their ex will finally realize what they had and possibly go back to them. If the ex breaks NC, it may signal that their ex is thinking about them or misses them. I guess I am one of these people. I really want my ex back, but I am on 18 days NC right now. Link to comment
lexion Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 LilBear, my guess is that those people are doing NC in hopes that it will help them get back with their ex. The hope that by going NC, their ex will finally realize what they had and possibly go back to them. If the ex breaks NC, it may signal that their ex is thinking about them or misses them. I guess I am one of these people. I really want my ex back, but I am on 18 days NC right now. i am considering NC because of that exact same purpose hope your ex still loves you i am still on day 1, actually this is my 14th day of breakup but i spent the last 2 weeks begging for her love at that time it's the only solution that came up on my mind but that didn's go well, and this NC offer a win-win solution either you get your ex back, or you have the strength to move on i still can't imagine my life without her, so i'm looking forward for her to break this NC knowing her though, it may take 2 years for her to break this she's been thinking about breaking up with me for a year sometimes i refer to it as pre-meditated murder hey i have a question, is it matter how long they said they've tought about it that they have a deep wound, and have been holding it back for 1 year? Link to comment
sara1 Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 NC sucks and dating sucks! Though i'm successfully near day 40 of NC. Link to comment
guitars Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 i am considering NC because of that exact same purpose hope your ex still loves you hey i have a question, is it matter how long they said they've tought about it that they have a deep wound, and have been holding it back for 1 year? I think it does matter, sadly. It doesn't mean that they don't still love you; it means that they've made sure that they need what they've been suspecting this whole time. Link to comment
lexion Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 I think it does matter, sadly. It doesn't mean that they don't still love you; it means that they've made sure that they need what they've been suspecting this whole time. i need to hear it from someone else, thanks in my case it's made worse by the last year we've been drifting apart, our flame went off she's falling for someone else, and claims that have been trying to rekindle our love for the past year but never suceed she's been thinking about it for 1 year i'm not the best boyfriend although, i am her first bf, so i'm hoping this counts, you know first love cuts the deepest we become an adult together, i think this count as something, right? Link to comment
heyyou Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Im at day 15 after about 9 months of pure bs after breaking up with my x. At this point im doing this for no more bs, cause a future with that girl, well no way in hell!!!! Link to comment
guitars Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 although, i am her first bf, so i'm hoping this counts, you know first love cuts the deepest we become an adult together, i think this count as something, right? First love cuts both ways, though. You become adults together and that's something that can never be taken away or replaced by anyone else. Yet you've established negative patterns that may take a lifetime to get over, even with subsequent partners. It's all so complicated! Link to comment
lexion Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 First love cuts both ways, though. You become adults together and that's something that can never be taken away or replaced by anyone else. Yet you've established negative patterns that may take a lifetime to get over, even with subsequent partners. It's all so complicated! so, you're saying that her next bf would have to deal with my mess? Link to comment
guitars Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 so, you're saying that her next bf would have to deal with my mess? No, she'll have to deal with her mess! Link to comment
LilBear Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 This is our first relationship as well. So I have no idea how NC will affect, or will not affect my ex. Previously, he's been leaving a couple of messages on my MSN. But nothing of significance and I am still in NC. Link to comment
lexion Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 will her future relationships be affected by this?the negative patterns and etc Link to comment
guitars Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 will her future relationships be affected by this?the negative patterns and etc That all depends on her and is NOT your responsibility. I would worry more about how it will affect your future relationships, be it with her or anyone else. 1 Link to comment
Crows Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Day 17. REcord day for me. Also I went out with the girl again... my god women confuse me.,... she talks about this other guy shes hanging out and how frustrating he is.. then she asks for my opinion on what he's thinking. She seems not interested in me sometimes, then we go outside, and shes puting her arm around my arm, puting her hand on my leg... ughhhhhhhhhhhh i dont know what to do Link to comment
messenger05 Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 So its the night of Day 2 for me... Like I said earlier, I did have a better day because I was with my family who is very supportive. I then went back to my house and got together with some friends to play a little basketball. We were playing and all I could think about was her. I mean we were in the middle of running up and down the court and all that was going through my mind was her and how I missed her. The ups and downs of this NC is going to drive me crazy. Lets hope I wake up and feel better than I do now although mornings and nights have usually been the worst for me. Everyone else, keep hanging in there and keep talking cause it helps all of us going through it! Goodnight! Link to comment
lexion Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 So its the night of Day 2 for me... Like I said earlier, I did have a better day because I was with my family who is very supportive. I then went back to my house and got together with some friends to play a little basketball. We were playing and all I could think about was her. I mean we were in the middle of running up and down the court and all that was going through my mind was her and how I missed her. The ups and downs of this NC is going to drive me crazy. Lets hope I wake up and feel better than I do now although mornings and nights have usually been the worst for me. Everyone else, keep hanging in there and keep talking cause it helps all of us going through it! Goodnight! wow we are very far away, it's almost 1 here i have the same feeling, worse even, yesterday is my birthday(1st march) and all my friends text me, wishing happy birthday, long live, success and you know what yesterday is the most depressing birthday of my life but i ended up texting with my friends, talking about how we broke up, and it kinda lift my burden a bit Link to comment
bostoneric Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 update: well ex called me early this morning... i saw the # and let it go to VM. she left a msg about finding a decent price on a moving company to get me my stuff, also she was finally able to find roommates and needed the wireless router password. so later that afternoon while i'm hanging with friends and feeling comfortable I called her back. I'm happy she found a decent price for a mover and I thank her for that, then we get into the roommate topic. i ask her about them.. i guess its this guy and girl who happen to be friends. not her friends, she said she wasnt sure about them, but needed somebody in there. of course me being me, asked her if she felt comfortable/safe living with the. she wasnt sure. I didnt know what to say, dont wanna cross a boundry now. guy works for intel and is "computer savvy" so I tell her I dont remember the password, if he's computer savvy he can figure out how to reset the router. some how we end up talking about "us" blah blah blah... she says a couple things that stick, something similar to "i've done so many things for you, bought you this, that, and this other thing......" " I saw this coming way back and you should have also" its amazing to me she still hasnt said shes sorry for cheating on me, leaving me for this women, for forcing me to completely drop everything and leave, breaking my heart, and everything else that comes with our broken relationship.... but she somehow she still is able to make me feel @ fault for all this. it bothers me how "easy" this is for her, while i struggle everyday. for her to say that I shouldnt be feeling bad anymore just makes me crazy! I'm not her, i have a loving caring heart, and even though she did what she did and for that this should be so easy for me to get over her, but its hard for me to stop loving and caring for her.. some days are like the first day I left, totally horrible, some days are decent(i'm able to get a few hrs of sleep), but not a single days goes by where I feel 100% awesome like i used to, when i was in a loving caring relationship with her. i hate being alone, I hate how "quiet" my life is now, I miss all the people I lost because of her (her family). going on 3 months and I still fall back into a funk every time i have to talk to her. so i dont unless i absolutely have to. how much longer will i feel this way, i have no idea. I've met a few new women and have gone on a few first dates, but I feel so uncomfortable around them. I almost feel guilty. I hate the thought of all that talk about family/job/etc etc.. all that stuff that comes with learning about somebody. my heart is still in love with her and my brain wont stop thinking about her. i miss her so much, but there is nothing i can do about that. almost 3 months and pretty much no contact except when necessary regarding my stuff. ive read many times that at approx 3 months ex's usually start to 2nd guess their decision. but in my case while she might do that for a second she has negative people in her life that influence her. so there is nothing i can do but put the past in the past and focus on my future. so for all you that are struggling starting NC. I say do it for yourself, dont do it for any other reason other then to focus on your life. ex's are who they are and you can't do anything about it. that is a hard lesson i'm learning. while we were together I was able to offer my opinion of course it was very valued because we were in love, but now she has other people in her life. all i focus on now is being comfortable with myself again. being comfortable with rebuilding my life, being comfortable with being alone. (which is very hard for me) being comfortable with being comfortable.. do it for yourself thats all that matters! Link to comment
lexion Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 >bostoneric OMG, my ex behave almost like your ex, i feel what you feel she's very strong about her decision and keeps telling me to move on, to forget about her, to find a better gf, someone more loyal than her, she even blame herself for falling for other guy and keeps telling me that i deserve better it's like she's moved on 3 months and no 2nd guess? my world just turn darker knowing that Link to comment
honeyspur Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Sam.........what's going on? Link to comment
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