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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71


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I've created a thread about this but wanted to see what you guys think. I decided that maybe my ex and I could be friends. I was worried i would end up a crying wreck but things went a little differently. I saw her before our arranged meeting..she had told me that she was in lectures all day so couldn't see me until the evening, then I saw her in a shop in the middle of the day with her bf. She said hello and I said 'I have to go' and walked out. Then I went back and asked why she had lied about being in lectures all day and she said that one of them had been cancelled and that she didn't lie.

 

We met up in the evening, for the first time in 3 weeks. we went to the pub. I had accepted just being friends...Then she started saying 'are you still in love with me?' and I kept saying 'no', because I didn't want to give her the satisfaction. And she was all like 'so you wouldn't want me back?' and I was like 'no, not after you've been with him'. And she kept saying 'you're lying, you still love me don't you?' I asked if she still loved me and she said she didn't know. I found all this confusing, because when she dumped me, she said it was because she didn't love me anymore.

 

I asked if she was happy with her new bf, and she said that it was 'ok' and that she didn't know how long it would last. I asked if she's happier with him than she was with me, and she said that it wasn't comparable because we're different people and that it's just 'different' with him.

 

He obviously wasn't happy with her meeting up with me. He wouldn't stop texting and calling her, and even turned up at the pub we were at, saying that he needed his keys to get something that he left in her flat. She went outside to give him the keys, and I saw her kiss him, which actually felt like I'd been stabbed in the heart.

 

Then we went back to mine to drink some wine I had there. I honestly didn't think that anything would happen, because she had made it clear over and over that she didn't love me and wanted to be with this guy. Then she carried on asking if I still loved her, and I said 'why does it matter??' and she said, 'I still love you, I'm being honest, why can't you?' I said 'In what way do you love me?' and she said 'in every way' and then started kissing me.

 

she kept kissing me passionately, then stopping and saying '* * * * , we shouldn't be doing this..how can I expect you to believe that I didn't cheat on you when I'm doing it with you to someone else?' and then kissing me again. The whole time her boyfriend was ringing her and she was ignoring the calls. Then she pushed me down and said 'I want to make love to you..' unfortunately I had to be at work in 10 mins and really had to go. We kissed again and she said 'I love you' and I said 'then why the hell did you leave me?' and she said that she didn't know. She said 'I guess this complicates things..I miss you so much..'

 

Then she walked me to work, her boyfriend was there because I work with him, and she went off to talk to him and suck up to him for not answering his calls. Then she came up to me squeezed my hand and said 'can I see you tomorrow?' I said yes and she kissed me again, said that she loved me and walked off.

 

I could hardley sleep that night, I was so happy and excited. I thought she wanted me back.. I met up with her at the time she said, we went to a cafe and had lunch. She said 'I'm so sorry about last night?' and I said 'why?' and she said 'it didn't mean anything, I'm sorry, it was wrong..I'm happy with my bf and I don't want to cheat on him.' He had spent the night at hers after work..the same night she had tried to sleep with me, the same night I could hardley sleep with hope and excitement...

 

I said that she had said that she loved me, and she said 'I don't know how I feel, I was drunk.. but I never want to hurt my bf and I want to be with him'. I said 'but you don't care about hurting me?' and she was just like 'I'm sorry, he can give me a future, you can't..I'm sorry I've hurt you and confused you..it's him I want to be with and I feel awful for cheating on him. Please accept just being friends'. Then she walked away to meet him.

 

Now it's valentine's day and I feel like I have nothing to live for.

 

should I start nc again? It felt like I was so close to having her back...

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Hun, you wasnt close to having her back. She plays games with you and she thinks only of herself. Remember I used the fisherman analogy a little while back. Things havent changed hun!. I read somewhere once, that we have to stop and ask ourselves " IS OUR PARTNER/EX MAKING US HAPPY?" I dont mean some of the time, on rare occasions, not that often, but Does our partner/ex make it clear in his actions every day that your happiness is important to him? If your answer is no to this samantha and I know it is, you have to cut her loose and go NC again. She is an a** for hurting you this way!

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So annoyed - NC has been broken. I had post for him. I text that i had post and could he change his address. He then called! Even though I sent the text and it was contact - I would have classed it as NC still. Anyway, I was very short on the phone - because I had another man on hold(!). When he said bye it was like he didn't want the call to finish and he put on his 'I'm so cute voice'. Which he does when he doesn't want to say bye and he misses me. GOD... back to square one now.

 

But it wasn't my fault. I felt I had to tell him about his post as it was work related.

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why can't we jsut let go why can't we be "happy" that if they aren't the one there is someone so much better bound to be out there for us. Someone that will NOT hurt us...why can't we grab ahold of that why do we "break nc" or do stupid stuff out of desperation why can't we just let go

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Every time I go NC, he texts me.

It happened again.

He needs 11-12 days to text me.

Just to tell you that NC sometimes makes them miss you.

 

Hope that happens to my ex again as well. When I started NC she couldn't go longer than 2 days w/o contacting me in all of january. Feb has been the exact opposite though...sucks.

 

Today has been one day of NC since I started it again. Almost broke down and texted her asking what's up. Start of the weekend today, so get to think about her out drinking

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Day 1 of NC has come to a shocker here. I just logged on to facebook to see her uploaded a couple pictures where shes getting pretty close with a guy she hung out with last weekend. Since then she has cancelled plans with me.

 

Now is where I move on.

 

Jesus.. waht a set back.

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