donebeingtheother1

I have to agree... it easies the guilt... helps them to feel better than us.... put it on us.. it's our fault they left us... not theirs. I remember I broke up with girl 5 or 6 years ago... we had dated for more than 2 years... she was so heart broke... I continued to put it on her the whole time. I wasn't nasty.. but not nice either. In the end she sent me a couple of letters... I read at the time.. and never made any sense of them. Then just of late... I found thoses letters and reread them... it all hit me at once.... It wasn't her that i was unhappy with... I was unhappy with myself.. for where I was, for what i was doing with my life... but i took that out on her. Selfish is what it is. Now being a better person.. I still see her... she is married... would have married me if I never broke her heart. I have told her about this... she addimitted that she felt I was wasting my life.. to some extent.. but she loved no matter what..she didn't want me to think I needed to change for her... Know I now that I need to change for me... Felt really bad about taking it out on her.

I am on board... First day of NC.. Feb 1st... It is a blessing for me.