nikkers04 Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 day one again this time i have a different look about it. Superdave is right if you don't do anything you can't mess anything up. So instead of making it about them even though we all know it is. Someday either they will comeback or we will somehow realize they are not worth it. So bring on the tears! Link to comment
LilBear Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 I am on day 19.. It is true that it gets easier each day. But mornings are the worse. Ever. Link to comment
l_lollipop Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 Yeh, Dave makes it sound easy!! But... it isn't. It's easy to give advice to others, yet following it yourselves is a totally different ball game, it really is. Day one tomorrow... no regrets though. Link to comment
LilBear Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 From experience, it is really tough at first. For myself, mornings are the worse, I'm just so filled with all these raw emotions in the mornings. What I do is I look to friends for companionship in the morning a lot, chatting about other things. NC is also a time to meet new people. After my break up, I've "met" new people online and also some in real life, which would never have happened if I was still together with my ex. Incidentally, can I go NC on a friend? (A close friend of my ex) I worry that I may start to like him. LOL Link to comment
nikkers04 Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 if you don't want to get attached I'd go nc. but whats wrong with trying to have some fun. I read a "moving on/getting back together book" one of the things they suggest if only to help boost your selfesteem is DATE DATE DATE. but make sure its different people so you dont get attached to one Link to comment
LilBear Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 We get along fine. I'm not the type of person who dates unless I really like the guy. But flirting yes. Very mild degree of flirting with a few of guys. And this guy is the only one who never responds...haha...so I thought that I should back off. Link to comment
nikkers04 Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 look how good your doing...your laughing Link to comment
LilBear Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 It's definitely not easy. I agree that dating new people will boost your self esteem. I also recommend that 1) Exercise and eat right 2) Change your hairstyle - curl your hair, straighten it, color it! 3) Buy yourself a completely new wardrobe (retail therapy) 4) Meet new people - especially of the opposite sex...flirt! (not like crazy though) 5) Change your number - this is extreme but I did it, and I would recommend this to anyone who thinks their ex is gnawing at their open wounds...! Link to comment
farfromfalling Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 Day 10 First time writing, but I'm on Day 10 already. Yesterday (Day 9), I balled my eyes out at home into my pillow. The days prior I had been spending time at my best friend's house and just trying to keep my mind occupied. I think I kept all my emotions in and they just came out yesterday when I got home from work. She broke up with me on Monday, January 28th. I took Tuesday and Wednesday off. I was actually gonna take those days off to spend time with her anyway, but there that is. I have had no contact with her whatsoever since she broke up with me over the phone. She kept me on Myspace, but removed me from her top friends and removed all our pictures and everything about me in her profile. I had to delete her cuz I couldn't read her surveys. Every answer was one I did not want to hear. Last night I caught up with an old friend of mine and just played videogames till I fell asleep. I woke up feeling really good today, but again...the sadness is starting to kick in. I'm trying to get my music career going and that was a temporary fix earlier today, but now that the day is coming to an end...it's getting hard again. *sigh* Link to comment
nikkers04 Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 sometimes I wonder if coming here to ENa makes things worse...you get sad reading everyone elses stories. I wouldn't wish this pain upon my worst enemy and to see so many people going through it makes me sad. then wheN I'm sad I start to wander to my problems. and then I just lose control. today I seem to have a grip on my emotions for the most part i'm trying to think positive. Link to comment
LilBear Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 ENA helps. The point here is to read positive stories, share experiences and save others from making the same mistakes you yourself did so they can escape the same heartache. Link to comment
nikkers04 Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 I agree thats why I keep coming back and reading over the stupid things i've done...it makes me feel like a complete moron that what I feel sometimes is not worth it. its like my body takes over itself and I lose control and have no say it what i'm going to do next. its time I take control of myself and face facts and get a grip on myself (as you can see I'm feeling better today Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 If I count last week sunday, tomorrow will be day 6 for me. He has tried to contact me on two different occasions. Monday and yesterday but I have ignored both attempts. Yesterday's contact was him calling my home phone then calling my mobile. He left a voice mail and he just sounded rattled that I hadnt responded to his monday contact. His words were, " I am not asking you to call me back if you dont want too, you dont have to have a conversation with me, just send me a text please to let me know your ok" I was like err, dont think so! I am not OK, and sending you a text to say I am ok would be relieving your guilt!. I love him, but we have been broken up 3 months. This is the first time I have gone NC, with no announcement he has hurt me so much since breaking up. I have broken NC so many times and it has made me feel like s*** each time. I am going to give myself 30-60 days then assess the situation after that. Link to comment
nikkers04 Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 GETMEBACK...keep up the work you are getting to him already. He is getting worried and he just wants to relieve himself of knowing that your alright. DON"T respond make him worry besides after all he has done to you he kinda desearves to feel uneasy Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 Thanks Nikkers, well I nearly committed suicide on sunday. I know very stupid, but I was very close. I am a student nurse, and my best friend called the on site nurse to come and see me and she made me see sense about a lot of things. She even said that he sounds a bit like an abuser as well. I have not made contact with him since that sunday night. He was saying things like " If you end your life, you might as well end mine. As you will f*** mine up and you couldnt of possible loved me if you could do such a thing" Hang on a minute, how did me killing myself end up about you? ( Narcissitic or what, that kind of snapped me out of the suicidal mode in itself!!) I am going to try my best to keep it up. I keep listening to this song from Beyonce its really uplifing, its called LISTEN, I reccomend all us ladies watch it on Youtube or download it or something. Another song is doing just fine, by Boys 2 Men and one more...A little 2 late by Brian Mcknight. I have found these songs have inspired me, so I am just sharing some love. Link to comment
nikkers04 Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 I have noticed alot of songs are inspirational as well. I listen to all kinds of music so try "Find out who your friends are" the song is so true alot of people act like your friend when things are good but the second you fall apart they want nothing to do with you. You really find out who your friends are in times like these Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 I have noticed alot of songs are inspirational as well. I listen to all kinds of music so try "Find out who your friends are" the song is so true alot of people act like your friend when things are good but the second you fall apart they want nothing to do with you. You really find out who your friends are in times like these I am going to listen to that song now nikkers..How are you? x Link to comment
nikkers04 Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 today suprisingly after I lost it yesturday things are looking good today my friends took me out last night I'm feeling positive. I got hit on so it made me think...hey guys still want me "jeremy is an idiot for trying to throw it away" so it truly will be his lose if he doen'st come back Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 today suprisingly after I lost it yesturday things are looking good today my friends took me out last night I'm feeling positive. I got hit on so it made me think...hey guys still want me "jeremy is an idiot for trying to throw it away" so it truly will be his lose if he doen'st come back Yeah that stuff makes you feel so much better. It happened to me this week too, I only went down the local chip shop ( or french fries as you call it in the USA hehe) and the guys who worked there were checking me out!. For a second, I turned around as I thought they might be looking at someone behind me and then I was like..um no, its definitely me and I thought to myself. you rock! Haha. Shame I didnt have my lipstick on or fancied them either. They may have been lucky enough to get my number xx Link to comment
deleted-account Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 I'm in no danger of contacting my ex, but I'm really missing her lately. It feels like it eats at me a little more each day. I just wish I could talk with her like we used to. Oh well.... staying with NC. Link to comment
sara1 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 I have accepted the NC challenge. Actually today is two weeks NC and this day is surprising really, really difficult. I want to contact him very badly. I thought he would have contacted me by now. It's just so difficult not having any contact. I really miss him. ugh! Link to comment
sara1 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Where is everyone tonight? I'm feeling a bit anxious about the ex. Would like to call him now but won't. Link to comment
GoldFox3840 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Hello I'm still very new at NC. I believe in it, and am now practicing it, but it's still curious to me. Most people here say that when their ex (the dumper) tries to communicate, they (the dumpee) won't even answer at all. I can see the merit in not answering right away, but can't see myself never replying to the ex. Anyway, I'm just wondering about some people's opinions on the matter. What would it take from the ex to make you reconsider? Link to comment
Confusedashellmyself Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 I had 8 days of NC going,seemed easy then the brews kicked in and failed lastnight.Sent two emails got no reply.He is right. Dont do it it will only hurt worse when they dont reply.Im going to go shoot myself in the foot now.been a hard day Hello I'm still very new at NC. I believe in it, and am now practicing it, but it's still curious to me. Most people here say that when their ex tries to communicate, they won't even answer at all. I can see the merit in not answering right away, but can't see myself never replying to the ex. Anyway, I'm just wondering about some people's opinions on the matter. What would it take from the ex to make you reconsider? Link to comment
sara1 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 If my ex contacted me i would call back shortly thereafter. However i myself am not contacting him and that is how i've subscribed to NC. It's hard. Link to comment
Recommended Posts