THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[yo]

DAY 21..

 

This forum has healed me in a lot of ways.I wish I knew about this before.

I found all the answers here.I found all of my strength here.I have so much respect for the people that are going through tough times because Ive been there and it wasnt easy if you dont have support.Now I wont be anxious anymore because now I know where to get advice when Im in trouble!

3 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Great to hear that lovemeorleaveme Good luck.

[lovemeorleaveme00]

yo! you can do it!! its only hard in the beginning but when I start missing my EX I read some of the stories here and they take my mind away from him.And the best part is I can give my support to people who are just as confused as I was..so yo..you can do it!!!

[yo]

yo! you can do it!! its only hard in the beginning but when I start missing my EX I read some of the stories here and they take my mind away from him.And the best part is I can give my support to people who are just as confused as I was..so yo..you can do it!!!

 

Thanks lovemeorleaveme

 

I am feeling a lot better after reading and posting on ENA. I really wanted to get back with my ex and try to make things work. But, I guess it's really not worth wasting my time, when she's acting so cold and ignoring my calls and emails! So, I will just continue my NC, heal and move on.

[lovemeorleaveme00]

Thanks lovemeorleaveme

 

when she's acting so cold and ignoring my calls and emails! .

 

yo welcome yo..your name is funny..anyway,a lot of people here have been treated this way..youre not alone..

[bostoneric]

just woke up rather early on a sunday....

mornings are always the hardest for me.

I've been waking up rather "quickly" thinking this is all a bad dream.

its still really hard for me because its only been a week since i've left and i'm still crashing on friends couches. (homeless) again i keep finding myself being afraid of my future because I'm not sure where I want to try and get my feet planted. I really miss my home... living out of a few boxes of clothes doesnt feel good at all... staying with my friends is really nice and is really helping me heal, but also makes me miss my home so much more. its like i'm on a little vaca and i'm really ready to go "home"....

 

well today starts day 2 of NC, its really hard and i'm a bit confused about NC lately.. I know its for me to heal, but what does she think of it? does she even wonder if I'll contact her?

 

i hate all these silly questions.

[AngryHeart]

Day 5.

 

Er, it's getting easier in a way but alos harder. Does that make any sense to anyone?!

[delerium6]

mornings are always the hardest for me.

 

Yep, exactly for me too. Those first couple hours are rough. I've always tended to wake up a couple times really early, look at the clock, then go right back to sleep until my "normal" wakeup time. But since the breakup, the first time I open my eyes those memories flow in and I can't get back to sleep.

 

The rest of the daytime is OK. Then from late evening on it gets tough again. On top of all this, a blizzard kept me basically indoors all weekend with nothing to stare at but the four walls (and some TV and my computer)...

[yo]

yo welcome yo..your name is funny..

 

Thanks!!!

[yo]

DAY 3

 

mornings are always the hardest for me.

 

 

I just don't feel like getting up in the mornings!!!

 

We used to constantly text each other all night. So, even now, my first reaction as soon as I wake up is to grab my cell phone and when I don't see anything, reality sets in and I get a sick feeling - feels like I have nothing to look forward to in life. I just don't feel like getting up. Feels like it's going to be just another sad day without her.

 

But, once I push myself to get up and start doing daily chores, I kind of forget about her. But, still I keep checking my mail and messenger, hundred times a day, just to see if she's sent an email or left on offline message!! I know that's not a good thing to do. I am going to stop doing that from today.

 

Good Luck everyone!! Stay Strong!

[lovemeorleaveme00]

angry heart! nice smiling picture!!

[Crows]

Starting day 1... after the first meeting face to face with the ex in over two months.

[AngryHeart]

Thank you I love your monkey!!

[lovemeorleaveme00]

DAY 3

 

 

 

We used to constantly text each other all night.

 

 

 

same here..we text each other and call each other evvvrrrryyydaaay...

lunch time we talk about what happened in the morning at work and what were going to have for dinner together and everynight..i miss it so much! but

things have changed..the thing is they were a lot of good memories so this is one guy that I am willing to have control of myself and not ruin things as they are because I wanna be happy with those memories..the good memories will make me forget about the last bad chapter in our relationship..and in time I know he will feel the same..you see whats good about NC is aside from the healing that you will get..its a known fact that when somebody's gone the good memories surface and plus with healing the bad memories will dissipate..

It happens all the time..not just with my EX..my previous Ex was like this too..

he practically disappeared in my life and he ignored my emails after that..then i got tired of it..then 5 months later..a long email explaining to me what happened to him and he still loves me etc..well..too late..!I moved on coz I found someone else..and this happens bet me and some people/friends/relatives that have hurt me ,offended me in the past..

one relative was so mean to me because she was preggy and his dad died and she was a different person..we had a verbal fight coz she was so irritable..so i didnt talk to her nothing.I went quietly...3 months later..xmas ..she wanted to make up...

another friend..she was so nosy and so totally disrespectful about this present breakup that I got sick of her and hang up on her ...she was very obnoxious..6 months later..she was sorry and wants to talk..i will but maybe xmas..my mom said,they come back to me because I was an honest person and sometimes they have their on problems and youre there and they take it out on you...and when you back off,youre giving them the opportunity to think about you as the person who was honest and who was there for them..and sometimes you just got sucked into their personal problems and you think it was about you but actually it was all about them..so live with your life and try to be a good person all the time because in the end its the heart that really matters...

[lovemeorleaveme00]

wow i didnt know that I posted a long one..it must be the weather..

[lovemeorleaveme00]

Thank you I love your monkey!!

 

 

 

thats actually how I looked like right after the break up hahahaa....a lovesick monkey hahaa

[yo]

My second post for the day. It's been a bad Sunday! Really finding it v hard today. Just can't stop thinking about her! I just want to hear her voice once! There are still so many things to talk about, so many things to do, so many dreams to fulfill - guess it's all over. I need to start building a new dream, alone, all over again.

 

I called up couple of my friends (women). Thought it would make me feel better! Infact, I am feeling worse, miss my ex even more now.

 

I had never ever seen this side of her before. She would atleast return my calls, or reply back to my text msgs. She knows that I hate waiting for her replies. She told me she'd write me an email and it's the first time that she's not kept her word. So, I guess she's really serious about ending the r/ship and moving on. I should just respect that and move on.

 

Why is it sooo hard each time? Isn't it supposed to get easier with time?

[yo]

Wow!! That is soo true! That's happened to me so many times. I've really had bad fights with my exs and friends. I think a lot; so any time things go wrong, I keep analyzing to see if there was something I did wrong and no matter what, I always try to make sure I sort out any issue or or problem.

 

There have been times when the other person just didn't want to talk to me, ignored me and infact treated me so badly. I just left it and moved on and then out of the blue they just come back and they start apologizing and they want to make up!! I've always believed in this - "You do your best and leave the rest to God" So, just do the best you can and move on. If it's meant to be, it will be.

[yo]

wow i didnt know that I posted a long one..it must be the weather..

 

 

 

The snowstorm outside is really not helping me either!

[lovemeorleaveme00]

Its all part of human nature..its different stages..I think I have past that stage where you are in right now so I will be here to help you with this.and so will the rest of the people here who have been through this.I dont know if youve heard of the push and pull phenomenon.You dont want to get sucked in to that because that will definitely get you nowhere with her..Right now we are powerless..so we leave it to God.I believe that there are so many things that we are not in control of.(Like the snow falling from the sky and you want to go shopping but its not good to drive out..hmmp!)

We are all different individuals and to be in a relationship means we can be connected but we are still individuals.Sometimes it feel so good to be together that we forget that the other person has his/her own life to lead.

They have their own issues to deal with.She may have loved you too but sometimes love wasnt enough to stay.But people change,situations change..

You'll never know if in time you will change your feelings towards her..or she will change her feelings towards you..but in the end when you have achieved so much in your own life ,even if you will be with her in the future and with someone else you can look back and see what youve learned from your breakups! My ex, not this one was short but it was the relationship I needed at that MEANTIME.Because of what happened from that one I was able to control myself with this current ex and I wasnt as bad.lol! Now I look back and I know I was devastated but I was so naive and its too funny to think of the things I have done to validate the feelings I was having while I was in pain with that person...I remember crying over a relationship too and it was just a month.Now I know I was a rebound and I cried soooo much..big DUH!its hysterical!..We will live and we will continue to grow and learn and we will know how it feels to be respected and be disrespected.Its cool though because now you know we know how it feels like and how painful it is that when another person comes we have grown from the past that we will be gentler and kinder to the next one or if its with the same person then we will know which bad traits we need to change.NC will give us that room for improvement and so much more!!Your business now is find things that will cheer you up and enjoy the things and people around you..Its easy for me to say but even if it took a while and buckets of tears to be comfortable on my own ,I made it and Im ready to be a BETTER ME!!!!!

[blindreepr]

day 30! I made it.

 

Now to see if I can double that score, I probably won't be keeping track of it like I did up to thirty put atleast this post is dated so I can see how I am doing. Also, it's been a week since I have checked her myspace, or online blogs at all. I am going to do my best to stay away from them. They only bring me pain. So here is to my 30 day online NC challenge. Day 8!

[AngryHeart]

^Well done! You've done well...must have been hard though?

[blindreepr]

it still isn't easy. Not calling her or texting her has gotten alot easier, I really don't even think about doing it because I know it would be all bad. The hard HARD HARD part is not checking up on her online. It's so easy just to type in a web address and see what is going on in her life. I will probably struggle with that for a while. Here's hoping though.

[foleno]

Starting day 1... after the first meeting face to face with the ex in over two months.

 

How did it go. When you guys first breck up were you strong in the beginning, nc right away. I am just wondering. I was very unavalible in my relationship, and sent flowers everyday for a week after my ex broke it off. We have no contact by her choosing. I am just trying to find someone who has had a similar break, but the ex at least changed thier mind later after a couple of months.

[bostoneric]

well after a hard start on day 2 I gave in and sent a txt late in the afternoon.

being sunday I knew what our typical schedule was so I was pretty sure I knew where she was...but who really knows anymore since its not "our" schedule anymore...

 

me - Hi, hows your sunday going? hope you are doing well.

her - fine. when do you leave for your parents? (xmas)

me - next sunday, why?

her - just wondering... Are you having a good time?

(remember I'm in another city/state now since I left after she broke up with me)

me - yeah all things considered.. doing a lot of work on my mistreated car.

(my car didnt get much love after we moved x-country, especially the last month when things were uncomfortable)

her - good to hear.

me - yeah i guess, again all things considered you know how I feel.... ok back to work.. Rob (mutual friend of ours who introduced us, who also happens to now live in same city i escaped too)is coming over...

 

so yeah.. back to day 0.. felt really let down by that conversation. I know i shouldnt have done it, but it was just one of those days... who knows what she was doing, hanging with her "friends" or with this girl she started seeing before we broke up or ?!?!!?

 

i hate thinking about what shes doing.. 3 years together and i could take a good guess if we were still together, but now who the f knows...

 

:splat:

[foleno]

Hey every one, be strong. Being strong is about today. We can not be are past hurt, or are future strength. What matters is today. The only time we can be certain are actions can make a difference. We owe it to ourselves and are past loves to have this strength, because if we fail ourselves, we will fail those we love if they ever come but. Be true to your values. The ones that say you are worth it. Those values, are what is true, regardless of emotions and low self worth. Those values are respect, regardless of loneliness. Those values are of doing what is right, even if it denies you pleasure. I promise in the long run being the best you will win out for rewarding you a beautiful life. But we must act as if we won today. NC is a good start to those values; Good night everyone.