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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

SuperDave71

By SuperDave71
in Getting Back Together

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comfyshoes Enthusiast

comfyshoes

Posted
Posted

after many long months, i sent her an email.

i haven't replied to anything she has sent me.

it's been so long i don't remember how long.

anyway, life has thrown some stuff at me this week and i just wanted to tell her to take care and wish her well with her journey.

that's it.

i don't expect a reply and if she sends one, i won't get it. (set email up to delete automatically)

i said what i needed to say. i'm not the crazy * * * * * that she paints me.

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ycmanvs Rising Star

ycmanvs

Posted
Posted
day 1 try number 3.....

 

What are you talking about?

I have not had contact with him in 13 days.

He tried to contact me but I am not contacting him.

My problem was that I always contacted him first. Now, I am not EVER contacting him, but he cannot seem to understand that.

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ycmanvs Rising Star

ycmanvs

Posted
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But it is not day 1, it is day 13, and before the email, it was day 12, so rather than counting days, I focus on me. Going to the gym, going to work, looking for better work, talking to friends, focusing on me.

My No Contact means that I do not contact him. If he contacts me, I do not count that as contact because I have no control over his actions but I do have control over mine, just like you have control over yours.

Are you really in Boston? It is snowing by the way....

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bostoneric Newbie

bostoneric

Posted
Posted

I was from boston, dropped my life and moved to Portland, OR (her home town, family, friends, good job)to start a family with my ex... I struggled to find a career and depended on her because I didnt know anybody/anything in Portland. 5 months later she broke up with me..(she said she feel out of love, didnt see herself with me in the future, and found a new "distraction" as our relationship ended. distraction = running from relationship issues, lame....) 2 days later I found myself in LA crashing on friends couches.... that is where I am as we speak.

 

now i struggle to get past day 1 or 2 of NC.... I left a lot of lose ends back in portland, but she said my stuff could stay there till i get on my feet here.

 

saying goodbye before i left was probably the hardest day ever, it took me about 15mins to shut the door on my way out.

 

But it is not day 1, it is day 13, and before the email, it was day 12, so rather than counting days, I focus on me. Going to the gym, going to work, looking for better work, talking to friends, focusing on me.

My No Contact means that I do not contact him. If he contacts me, I do not count that as contact because I have no control over his actions but I do have control over mine, just like you have control over yours.

Are you really in Boston? It is snowing by the way....

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lovemeorleaveme00 Newbie

lovemeorleaveme00

Posted
Posted

All we can do for now is to just let it go..letting go doesnt mean that you have to forget her or get bitter but just let go of the negative thoughts and the wondering and the analyzing ..coz for now she's gone..he's gone..for now you have no choice but to let it go and live your life.Project your love on other things..be extra friendly to people in need..theres so many who's going through a lot who will give anything just to have somebody to listen to them.

It sucks to be an emotional wreck all the time.I just got tired of being one.

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foleno Newbie

foleno

Posted
Posted

[All we can do for now is to just let it go..]

 

Great line. just remember the good stuff. Today is 12 of nc. I am not really counting. I cried alot 2day, for at least an hour, Very greatful of my family and friends, plus the holidays. I really started to notice as hard as feeling are to deal with. I will finally listen and understanding peoples feeling and really let that in to my life. It is something I have been so afraid of, and against. It destroyed my relationship, but so many new ones have come. life is amazing. and if I am every to be with my ex I want to share with her every thing she is trying to have me feel. No matter if she is afriad week, sad, feeling ugly. I will be thier. I do not know why emotions seemed so scary until now. NC has been easy 4 me because I do not have a email of phone number to call. I only have an address in my head. Well good luck everyone stay strong Sean

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yo Enthusiast

yo

Posted
Posted

Superdave..

 

This is the third time I am here..The last two times I followed your advised, followed NC and I was really able to pick up the pieces and move on. So, I am totally for NC

 

But, now I am going through another breakup from a very short relationship (3 months). I really miss her and I want her back.

 

I know if I go for NC, I can heal and move on but I will lose her forever!!! I did follow NC for 3 days. But, I just couldn't control texting her today and as expected she didn't reply back. I did feel terrible after doing that (as expected!)

 

But, I want her back and I know NC is not going to get her back. What do I do? Should I still go for NC and lose her forever?

 

Thanks!

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Crows Enthusiast

Crows

Posted
Posted

Day 16.

 

I started working huge hours lately.

 

1.Im out of money becuase i couldnt get the money back fro the trip i booked wth my ex to fix the relationship.

 

2.Im really glad , becuase work is taking my mind off of it.

 

So much crap going on at work, and it's sickening me.

 

And a couple girls are showing interest in me again once they noticed im single

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The_411 Newbie

The_411

Posted
Posted

Well,

 

We were out of contact except for business matters.

 

She's angry it seems altough I should be absolutely livid at her.

 

today was the last contact for business so tomorrow officially starts day 1.

 

She's pretty screwed up and she's still a mess so if she contacts me I don't expect it for a year or longer, but we'll see.

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foleno Newbie

foleno

Posted
Posted
today is my day 19th.I am not going to do anything but I always seem to think about him.I dont know if its just a habit or because xmas is coming.

Dec 25 will be my day 30..

 

Hey 19 is good keep it up, regardless of how your feeling in relation to the holidays.

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delerium6 Rookie

delerium6

Posted
Posted

 

i really miss having her in my life....

 

 

 

Totally understand.

 

I got a piece of good news at work today, and the first person I would chat to about it would've been her.

 

It's a shock to the system of how much they are a part of our lives - then in one instant they are a ghost, as if they never existed.

 

I know NC is about healing and focusing on myself, but I often can't help wonder what she's thinking, and if she's missing me as much as I'm missing her. I probably don't even want to know the answer to that one, though.

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bostoneric Newbie

bostoneric

Posted
Posted

I cant agree more.....

 

Totally understand.

 

It's a shock to the system of how much they are a part of our lives - then in one instant they are a ghost, as if they never existed.

 

I know NC is about healing and focusing on myself, but I often can't help wonder what she's thinking, and if she's missing me as much as I'm missing her. I probably don't even want to know the answer to that one, though.

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