robert7x Posted January 2, 2007 Share Posted January 2, 2007 I've been with this girl for 7 years. We started going out in 2000 after i fnished high school. I fell in love with her, and it seems she did too with me. Most of the time we had together was great... We even went to college together and it seemed like we were going to be together forever. 2 years ago, she cheated on me and it hurt like hell... probably it felt the same way i'm filling now. After talking to her and stuff, we ended up back together... (the story about cheating was, she went out with some friends, that i didn't know about, behind my back, and was with this guy. She claims nothing happened, but by hearing from other people she was actually with that guy for a month) Crazy as i am, i took her back. Most of the time we talked about our future and how we'll get married and have our life together, but when i actually asked her to marry me, she turned me down saying she can't leave her family and she is not ready yet... This went on for another 2 years. 3 months ago, she told me she has to go back to her old Country in europe (which we are actually both from) and try to live there because her parents are making her go there. Through out this whole time of this i kept asking her and beging her not to go. I kept telling her that she is not 15 anymore and that she shouldn't let her parents lead the life for her. In one ear out the other... The day came, she cried, i cried, i still kept telling her the same thing and she didn't listen... She told me she'll be back, that she has to try this and she'll be back within a month... I knew that that's not true because she did lie to me in the past every time sometimes serius comes up... We talked 2-3 times since then (she left the christmas day, what a christmas present huh?) and she started telling me how her family now won't let her talk to me... that i am a bad infulence on her and stuff like that.... Now this family knows me and i've been with them and i got nothing like that out of them... they all seemed to like me and were very nice to me. After that i got mad, but still talked to her because i miss her so much... I've been feeling pretty much like crap this whole week, which i was off from work too... I don't have many friends as they all kind of started to blow me off when i got into the relationship with this girl.. Most of them were jealous that we spent so much time together and not with them. I only have 2 really good friends that is actually a couple and they started dating the same time we did and are living together and have what i wanted to have with this girl... I see that this relationship has ended... 7 years down the drain and i'll be 25 this year.... The whole relationship was kind of up and down anyway, but we stayed together. I'm not a guy that likes going out to parties, clubs or bars. I'm also very shy when it comes to talking to a girl... The thing that keeps going through my head this whole week is that i'll end up all alone. I love this girl so much that i was willing to do anything for her. I can't do anything... even my best hobby which is working on my project car has died down. I just have no reason to live at all... Only time this week i actually felt good was when i talked to her for a minute but that shortly took a turn for worse... I basically just wanted to tell my story and get some advice on what i can do now.... I just miss her so much and i keep thinking about the happy times and the time we spent together. I'm afriad i might do something stupid because this pain is just too damn much... I'd rather wish i lost an arm or a leg then this inside pain.... Link to comment
TornTattered Posted January 2, 2007 Share Posted January 2, 2007 Hey man im sorry for what has happened. It sucks. And there isnt really anything i can say that will take that pain away or bring her back to you. But... there are things you can do to get it off your mind for the time being. I started working out intensely right after the breakup. I also took up boxing. Take out your frustration with physical excersize. It works. And this is much better than losing an arm or leg. Link to comment
Slacker Posted January 2, 2007 Share Posted January 2, 2007 Take the pain off your mind with a hobby, it will eventually heal- you will be a stronger and wiser man for the wear, just give yourself some time. Link to comment
robert7x Posted January 2, 2007 Author Share Posted January 2, 2007 Thanks... I'm trying, but i know it will take time. It's just too damn hard... Link to comment
LittleLion24 Posted January 2, 2007 Share Posted January 2, 2007 I think the first thing you need to realize is that it's going to take some time to heal. As time goes on, it will get better. You need to keep yourself busy and you need to NOT contact her. I think you're making this harder for yourself by talking to her whether that's through email, text, phone calls, morse code etc. If she contacts you, this will be hard, but you need to not pick up or respond, at least for awhile. You need some time to reflect after your long-term relationship has ended. There is nothing wrong with thinking of the good times because that's normal. But I think you need to think about what you now want even though the relationship has ended. And I don't mean "you want her" but what you want out of life? Make a list if you want. May I suggest trying to reconcile with your friends that you lost as a result of your relationship? It's a start. In the meantime, try to stay busy. Go to work, take up a new hobby, go back to your old hobby. Just don't wallow because that's how you'll make it harder on yourself. Link to comment
robert7x Posted January 3, 2007 Author Share Posted January 3, 2007 I totally understand what you are saying, and i know you are right, but i just can't think about anything else other then her... I keep thinking that i'll end up single for the rest of my life, and i'll be living all by myself without anybody... I spent such a long time with her that i have no idea how to talk to any other girl or anything like that... Anything i had fun doing before, i just don't have any energy to do... The only thing i'm actually doing is work, but that ends at 5 and then i have to come home and think, think and more thinking.... It hurts so much... Link to comment
Dizziblonde Posted January 3, 2007 Share Posted January 3, 2007 Sweetie , When I was in my early twenties I remember thinking long and hard after I got to the end of my second long term relationship and I had been treated badly. I thought 'If it takes another ten years to eventually meet and settle down with the right man for me then it will be worth it but in the meantime I will not make the same mistake again' This thought comforted me for a while. Recently I have been back to school and learned some new skills, and with it my confidence has really grown and my self esteem. Set yourself some achievable goals and soon you will have some success and your self esteem will rise again. You will feel happier and this is a short cut to happier times. Trust me , I am talking from experience here. Dizzi Link to comment
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