feeling alone

[distroyed one]

Hi..

I don't have any questions, there are no unknown things and situations in my life... I just felt need to talk to someone because I feel so alone.. After my relationship ended this summer I just cant find myself in this mess.. There is no one to understand this hell I'm in now. But days go by in hating myself for first: letting this happen to me, second: not having enough strenght to find way out.. And now it is New Years eve and I'm alone at home crying all day.. I feel so bad and so worthless.. I hate hollidays, they just remind me that I don't have anything in my life.. Thought that I have love, but he cheated on me, I have a job but with these payments I can afford just neccesary things, got no energy, concentration or time to study my MBA that would eventually give me better life.. I'm not that young anymore, I'm 28.. All my friends have good relationships married or not, good jobs, they feel good about themselfs.. I don't fit in their company, feeling like sixth finger.. It's like he took my good luck away when he left me.. Even after break up I'm thinking where is he now, what is he doing, who is he going to kiss in the midnight, it makes me crazy..

I'm so scared that I will stay alone.. One more year passing by and I don't have anything right in my life, not the carier not the someone to love me..

This year brought me nothing but missery, I'm so scared of this about to come, asking myself what's it going to take away from me.. What else am I going to loose.. Nothing left but my life..

These words I wrote probabily don't have much sense.. If I read it I would probabily delete it, but I just have need to talk to someone, I feel so alone.. Why some people have everything right in their lifes and other get nothing but a pain?

I was strong person, never gave up and allways kept fighting, but there is no point anymore in trying when I loose all the battles everytime..

[crazy300]

Heyyyy...i think you're just having a moment/phase of weakness. It'll pass i promise. It is natural to feel depressed when someone leaves you, but dont let that take you down so much. Let me assure you that there are lots n Lots of people out there who are alone, depressed, or feeling lonely tonight and have been for quite some time. They may even be married or surrounded by family(i.e. seem like they have EVERYTHING) and still be miserable.

 

Remember, Happiness is a state of mind. You dont need to have someone, or something to bring you happniess. I think as of now, you need to devote some time to yourself, maybe make some new friends, develop some hobbies, and take an interest in yourself. 28 isnt old at all, not even close to old.

 

And You dont know whats in store for you tomorrow. Yes, maybe 2006 wasnt such a great year for you, for me for many others...but its important for us to stand right back up and learn from our experiences/mistakes.

 

This whole New years thing is just a commercial hype for all those hotels/restaurants. Its really just another day. I think though, itd would be a good opportunity for you to change some things in your life, maybe attitude, lifestyle...whatever that will get you back on track!

 

I hope things work out for you. If you feel like talking, feel free to PM me.

 

Crazy

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Another "crazy" responding to you! I know how you are feeling...I am feeling the same way. I too had a very bad 2006 and was very betrayed by someone I cared about. Even after he supposedly tried to make it up to me, it was only lip service, never really putting himself out there for me. Just did the bare minimum to hook me back in and then sat back and did nothing. Couldn't even be bothered to give me comfort with several crises going on in my life this year. Yeah, I too am angry that I allowed him to behave in such a manner towards me, but I finally told him off. Feel crappy that people can take advantage of other people's kind, generous and forgiving nature. Let's hope 2007 is a better year.

[distroyed one]

Thank you so much for these nice words.. I hope that this feeling will go away eventually.. In this situation I feel like stone around people's neck, I'm not able to smile when they are smiling, not able to have fun when they do, my friends don't even call me anymore.. And I'm not trying to contact them because I don't want to distroy their mood.. I'm out of all themes that could interest them.. From August I didn't have one day when I could say that I had peace.. People keep telling me that it will go away but it haven't yet lost a 1% of intensity.. Few more months feeling like this and I'll be human ruine..

I agree that happines is state of mind.. Before, when he was around I was happy, not everything was perfect in my life but love makes bad things disappear.. Now when I'm alone I don't know anymore if I miss him so much or I'm scared that no other man will ever take his place.. Cheating should be prohibited by law, it makes dumped one feel so worthless, unlovable.. It's not that I miss being in relationship with someone that cheated on me, its a misery wandering what did I do wrong to make him go and look for other? I loved him so much and it wasnt enough, what more can I ofer to anyone else

[wishiknew]

all we can offer is ourselves, and if that's not enough then there isn't anything we can do to change that.

Sometimes people change, feelings change and we have to cope with it. Most of us here are coping with it now. I am in a similar state of mind as you are, I want to desperately to be happy, to go back to the person I used to be. I was fun to have around, always positive and cheerful. Now it seems the skies have turned black and nothing can change my mood. My mind races constantly and can't do anything to get her out of my head.

 

You just have to take charge of the situation, find something you can be passionate about. Get outside your comfort zone if you have to and discover something totally new to you, immerse yourself in it. These feelings will subside, trust me. I've been there once before with a broken heart and this second time around isn't any better. But I know things will change for the better even when there are moments if feels like they never will.

[distroyed one]

 

 

Wish there is a some kind of magic that could help us bring our lifes back.. It would be an advantage not having emotions like the one who hurted me.. He continued with his life so easily, enjoying every moment and here I am, feeling miserable and crying.. I know that he is not worth it, but it is so hard to get over this situation..

[crazy300]

 

 

Wish there is a some kind of magic that could help us bring our lifes back.. It would be an advantage not having emotions like the one who hurted me.. He continued with his life so easily, enjoying every moment and here I am, feeling miserable and crying.. I know that he is not worth it, but it is so hard to get over this situation..

 

I think its very important for you to take your life in your hands and make the decision. Keep telling yourself " I will be happy. I will be happy. I am meant to be happy." and the minute a negative thought comes, immediately say STOOPPPP!!!(in your head ofcourse.) It does work.

 

We arent built to be depressed. Maybe upset, sad...but depression is what man has created of late, due to his own insecurities, and anxities.

I have full faith and belief that you will find someone, who will make you as happy as you were before.(or even more). It has happened to millions of other people, and will happen to you too. Just because, you're depressed right now and cant see it, it doesnt mean it wont. The Universe hasnt primarily chosen to destroy YOUR life. You're not that special..

 

So its really upto YOU. Take it one step at a time. Also dont forget to enjoy the simple pleasures in life, like the trees, the birds, and other small things that we dont notice in our everyday life. Its amazing how we can get so wrapped up in our problems and not realize what this life and world is actually offering us every single day.

 

I truly hope you feel better, and have a much better year ahead.

[shelly7]

I think its very important for you to take your life in your hands and make the decision. Keep telling yourself " I will be happy. I will be happy. I am meant to be happy." and the minute a negative thought comes, immediately say STOOPPPP!!!(in your head ofcourse.) It does work.QUOTE]

 

yes, it does! I noticed that I AM capable of stopping negative thought patterns, but when you're feeling depressed it's a constant battle within yourself. What works for me (sometimes) is having a fantasy to daydream about when those negative thoughts come into my mind. Maybe picture yourself achieving something whether it's school related, work related or a simple fantasy you have for yourself that doesn't involve your ex or the desire to be in a relationship.

 

 

Being alone is tough, i'm not sure if you live alone like me, but it's so much easier to fall into negative thought patterns when you're alone. Sometimes simply getting up and loading the dishwasher, sweeping the kitchen, etc.. can give your mind a mental break.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

first off, you ARE young, and have a whole lifetime ahead of you. YOu have just lost perspective, and are stuck looking back, instead of looking forward, which is the way life takes us, whether we like it or not.

 

it also sounds like all your emotions are being colored now by depression... sometimes after a large stress like a breakup, your biochemisty can get out of whack. I suggest you go to a doctor and/or counselor for a while, to try to put things in perspective and regain the ability to see things as they really are, i.e., you are young and can take your life in a million different ways if you want, it really is more under your control than you think it is...

 

the one way you CAN'T take you life is backwards to before your ex disappointed you. he made a choice, and you have to accept that choice and move on with your life and quit dwelling on him... he is history, and if you focus on ancient history, you will be stuck forever in the grieving process.

 

you are also making the assumption that everyone else's life is better than yours and yours if a mess, without recognizing the reality, which is that EVERYONE'S life cycles. those people very happy now, will go thru spells when things are not going well, and you will have happy times again too, IF you make an effort to quit wallowing in the past, and to quit making the false assumption that you are somehow destined to always be miserable.

 

you can make the choice to move on with your life, get the help you need from counselling, exercise, choosing to sit down and make some new goals, then break those goals down into steps that you can achieve, a little at a time. start out small, like taking a 10 minute walk every day, finding a good book or movie to watch rather than sitting there dwelling on what your boyfriend is doing.

 

A new and better life, starts with a single step in the right direction, which is forward, not backwards looking, then one foot in front of the other, until you are again in a happy place rather than depressed and lost in the past.

[distroyed one]

Thank you for your threads! I know it is important that one takes positive attitude towards life.. But it is so hard to keep everything under control! It makes me sad realising how weak I am not being able to stop doing things that distroy me..

[cordelia]

I know how you feel..Ive been single for a month now, doing better but still miss all the good things of the relationship. I'm the same age as you and my friends are all in relationships. And the holidays felt kinda strange cause it just seemed like there were couples everywhere!

You need to start focusing on yourself and move forward. I've started using this time to do things that I wouldn't be doing if I was still with him.

My office winter party is coming up so I'm brining a girl friend with me, I'm startin driver's ed soon (which I've been meaning to do for ages now) and I'm going to Europe with my sister in February..can't wait. And I'll be looking for a 2nd part time job when I return, staying busy and making extra cash is always a good thing!

 

Do you excersise ? it can make a world of a different for your mental health..and who knows you might meet some intersesting people at the gym!

You should find a hobby that you enjoy, it will keep you busy and you get to meet some new people.

 

Having a man in your life is not going to fix all your problems, I know cause I've made that mistake over and over again. You need to find happiness within yourself and everything else will fall into place! This is what I am learning now and I have been feeling a lot better lately.

[cordelia]

By the way..another thing I did that made me feel a lot better: I went to see a psychic that my sister and a few of her friends have gone to. He has been

dead-on for all of them!

He told me things about me that were so true, and he said that I will have a very happy year in 2007 and I will not be alone! If you believe in that sort of thing, I recommend it. It made me realize that I have a lot to look forward to!

[distroyed one]

By the way..another thing I did that made me feel a lot better: I went to see a psychic that my sister and a few of her friends have gone to. He has been

dead-on for all of them!

He told me things about me that were so true, and he said that I will have a very happy year in 2007 and I will not be alone! If you believe in that sort of thing, I recommend it. It made me realize that I have a lot to look forward to![/quote]

 

Well, after all these things that happened to me I'm even scared to read a horoscope, I'm affraid that it's gona tell me something bad..

I'm glad for you, you are dealing with situation bravely and I hope I'll be able to do the same thing soon..

If you are going to travel to the Balcans during that journey you can come for a visit!

[cordelia]

Hang in there, things WILL get better! And at least we know that we can always come to this forum for advice and support. And WE ARE still young at

28 yrs old! lol..