help help help quickly!arrgh

[rebeccaapple]

My ex broke up with my,totally unexpectedly, two weeks ago. At first I moped around and called him and begged. Then I did NC for 9 days. Just got a text saying "___ i really miss you.. argh! don't know if this is silly.. but i keep on thinking of you"

 

do i reply? i know i probably shouldn't? i don't think i want him back but i still care.. i still love him. god i was so fine now i'm totally confused! help??

[kickedin]

My ex broke up with my,totally unexpectedly, two weeks ago. At first I moped around and called him and begged. Then I did NC for 9 days. Just got a text saying "___ i really miss you.. argh! don't know if this is silly.. but i keep on thinking of you"

 

do i reply? i know i probably shouldn't? i don't think i want him back but i still care.. i still love him. god i was so fine now i'm totally confused! help??

 

wait until tuesday to see if he really realizes it......from my experience hes wanting to know if you are still there....please trust me you are on top enjoiy the glory og being dumped.......maybe if you feel you need to respond.....miss me? remember you dumped me?

[rebeccaapple]

i just replied with a friendly message telling him i was in the middle of writing an essay and that i hoped him and his friend who is staying with him from berlin were having fun. i can't feel angry at him.. he's an idiot but he has good intentions. but now my whole "healing process" is totally shaken

[kickedin]

i just replied with a friendly message telling him i was in the middle of writing an essay and that i hoped him and his friend who is staying with him from berlin were having fun. i can't feel angry at him.. he's an idiot but he has good intentions. but now my whole "healing process" is totally shaken

 

 

 

enough...please if you read my posts you will see my dumb mistakes...he doesnt respect your feelings if he can just throw a one liner i miss you out there

 

leave him hang and realize whta hes lost that is if you were a good gf lol

[rebeccaapple]

i know. too late though i text him now. darn. when i started no contact i wanted him to contact me now i wish he hadn't! lol

[Juliana]

If your goal is to hurt someone, then sure, don't respond. However, if you're really not angry at them, and you still care for them, and it's just a messed up situation right now, it's right to respond. I think you responded perfectly; enough to show him you can be graceful and not spiteful, but not opening up about your own hurt so that he can then turn around and ignore you.

 

Sometimes these things work out to our advantage, whether we end up in a romantic relationship again or not, and being considerate of someone else's feelings, when they're sincere, is always the better route, imo.

[rebeccaapple]

after taking some time to step back from the situation, i agree with you. this whole no contact thing is great to help ourselves heal after a break-up, but i'm not going to do it to the extent where i'm playing games. i rang him in the end, i could have stopped myself but i just wanted to check how he was. it was probably a silly thing to do, but then considering the consequences of our break up (he was depressed, dumped me, left me feeling shocked.. but ok, whilst he feels miserable) i thought it would be ok. it was ok.. we chatted about christmas and he sounded a bit down but hopeful that we would speak again. fair enough, he probably did text because he was scared i was moving on and wanted to make himself feel better. i'm not really bothered either way, i have enough self-worth to realise that this is his loss and that i will get over this.. but aside from needing some space, he didn't really do anything wrong. he's never cheated, always taken good care of me, tried desperately hard to make things work long-distance. we're just young, that's all. we BOTH have some growing to do, and i don't blame either of us for what happened - it's a good chance to learn some lessons. anyway, rant over! thanks!

[Scout]

Ok, I went back over your other threads, and it looks like he might have made the decision to break up when he was under a great deal of stress. I think what you two should do is have a real talk, to understand what led up to his decision, what's stressing him out, and what you two can do to salvage something. Either by being friends only for a while, or reconciling. Of course, if he can't seem to offer any solution, then you will have to give some hard thought to what's best for you. Going back to NC and getting on with healing might be the path, I don't know.

 

But I think a talk is in order here, and I think he needs to open up and tell you what's going on, either way.

[Juliana]

Or you could just leave things alone, and let them be what they will be. I have had many relationships that developed into friendships, and this is how it happened. You might not feel a need to get back together with him, but still appreciate the odd caring gesture that takes the sting off of being dumped. I would just let it go and move on.

[rebeccaapple]

yeah that is what i am going to do. talking might have worked before we split up, but now it's done i've realised that i don't want to be with someone who is that immature. he's a good guy though, and we were well suited. so maybe we'll be friends in months or years to come, who knows. right now i'm just going to focus on myself and my degree. phew.