"whipped"

[sixpounder]

im sure you all have herd this term used to decribe somebodys devotion to his/her partner.

 

what i want to know, is why its mostly men that are being called this. i always hear people calling some guy "whipped", because he'll do absolutely anything for his partner - almost a pushover, if you will. why is it that i've never herd a woman been called this. even if they show the same if not more attention to their partner.

 

opinions??

[shikashika]

I think people use different words for boys and girls... just like I don't call my ex boyfriend a {mod edit}

[Baby Carrot]

Because we live in a sexist world.

 

If a man is devoted to a woman, then he deserves mockery, and people will point him and laugh at him saying he is inferior for caring so much about a woman.

 

In the other hand, if a woman is devoted to a man like that, and doing anything for him, well that´s just fine, cuz that´s her duty as a woman.

 

The message is, that being a girl is degrading.

 

For example, guys have been humiliated by being forced to wear dresses and make up, and it works! On the other hand, girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short, and we feel great about it.

[cc2006]

The message is, that being a girl is degrading.

 

For example, guys have been humiliated by being forced to wear dresses and make up, and it works! On the other hand, girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short, and we feel great about it.

 

Uhm .. wow. Thats totally not how I see that one.

 

If I put on a dress, I'm cross-dressing. If a woman puts on jeans and cuts her hair short she is wearing clothing acceptable for her to wear. If you want to push that analogy the woman would have to be wearing a Tuxedo. THEN she'd get looked at funny and comments made about her just as I would wearing an evening gown. Jeans and T-shirts are sexless clothing in today's society.

 

Women just have more clothing options open to them. I envy women when I'm working in an office environment. They get a HUGE selection of clothing they can wear and still be "business casual." Me? I have to wear dress pants, a button shirt, and a tie. I can opt to wear a suit if I want. Whoopie, huzzah, hurray. Variety.

 

 

 

Back to the original post ... yeah ... guys are 'whipped' in that situation. Why? Macho male BS usually. Many guys are taught at young ages what is acceptable and unacceptable male behavior, just as young girls get speaches about what is 'ladylike'. Dunno' why, but we face criticism for large portions of our life if we go outside the box. Do something too sweet or caring? Mocked and picked on.

 

It is the seperation of the sexes. Men are supposed to be tough and strong, women are supposed to be dainty and soft. After a while all that crap (usually) fades away when you're old enough.

[keenan]

In the other hand, if a woman is devoted to a man like that, and doing anything for him, well that´s just fine, cuz that´s her duty as a woman.

 

Women who are very devoted to their partner are likely to be called doormats, pushovers, clingy, or needy, though. There's a fair amount of social pressure for women to be strong and independent. I'm not saying that's a bad thing - just that I do think that it works both ways.

 

Perhaps women have a wider range of "acceptable" degrees of devotion.

[denisemarie]

Women who are very devoted to their partner are likely to be called doormats, pushovers, clingy, or needy, though. There's a fair amount of social pressure for women to be strong and independent. I'm not saying that's a bad thing - just that I do think that it works both ways.

Exactly! There has to be a balance, relationships are give and take. Maybe not always equal at any given time, but always trying to adjust the scale to find that balance. I wouldn't like a weak or a tough guy, and in turn if I was too weak or too tough I wouldn't be much of a catch to anyone.

[Baby Carrot]

"acceptable for her to wear"

"Many guys are taught at young ages what is acceptable and unacceptable"

Well, do we see a pattern here? Who sez what´s acceptable or not? Blue for him, pink for her and period. Hooey.

 

If I put on a dress, I'm cross-dressing. If a woman puts on jeans and cuts her hair short she is wearing clothing acceptable for her to wear.

Yep, but not only crossdressing but being a weirdo and a misfit, and there must be something wrong with you for doing that. If I wear jeans and cut my hair short, is acceptable because, how can it be bad looking like a guy? Looking alike guys trendy, is cool, is fun for girls. Looking like a girl for a guy, is simply degrading in this society. Your ticket to be picked on, harassed, insulted. Even if you´re just being yourself.

 

And what does that tell you?

 

That for a guy, the idea of resemble an inferior being (a girl) is nothing but degrading. Even if noone wants to admit it like that nowdays, the chauvinism is still a powerful force in our society.

[Northalius]

im sure you all have herd this term used to decribe somebodys devotion to his/her partner.

 

what i want to know, is why its mostly men that are being called this. i always hear people calling some guy "whipped", because he'll do absolutely anything for his partner - almost a pushover, if you will. why is it that i've never herd a woman been called this. even if they show the same if not more attention to their partner.

 

opinions??

 

 

Probably because you're male, and don't talk casually with girls on such levels. If you're with friends, they're most likely all male, and thus you'll hear a lot about this stuff, then think that's all there is. As others have said, women know a 'different side' of the coin, because they're women, and it's brought up in their conversations / rumors they keep to their own side.

 

Being "whipped", or worse, "P-word whipped" (not nice...) are ways of guys saying their friend, or just another guy, is giving in to a woman based on being emotionally weak, or physically weak (for mere sex...). To them, it shows that the male doesn't have a foundation built within himself to resist being a womans 'slave' (note: masters whip their slaves, and thus is likely the reason for the word 'whipped') all the time.

 

There's a fine line between these two things. If you truly care for someone, you'll feel like you'd sacrifice things for them; however, if they're not doing the same for you, then you must learn to respect yourself and have a long talk with them about questioning their feelings for you, as compared to how you feel for them. If both make sacrifices, then that's perfectly fine; but if one does, and lets the other do whatever they want, then it's almost true if you say the other is "whipped." They're becoming the slave of another, sadly.

 

So, again, there's a fine line between these two things; between rightly seeing what's going on, and wrongly misusing the statement simply because the guy is being nice to his girl, and sacrificing "the usual guy-type things" to be with her more, or do something nice for her more often than the usual guy.

 

Always remember: A relationship is a two-way street, not one. If you find you're doing everything for your mate, and he/she is not doing much, then you must question whether this will work out in the long run, or even the short run. Discuss this with them openly! Do not let it linger on, because it'll just get worse the longer you wait.

[emmabemma]

simply put..women are in charge

[Northalius]

simply put..women are in charge

 

Bah!

[Juha]

Being whipped is not being totally devoted and doing anything for her...

 

It is having her control your life and run it for you...

That is why guys say "he is whipped"...

 

Doing things for your gf/wife is great but having her decide if you can do something or say she tells you that you can't play hockey 2 days a week anymore you have to spend it with me and he listens to her and does it is being whipped....

[cc2006]

Well, do we see a pattern here? Who sez what´s acceptable or not? Blue for him, pink for her and period. Hooey.

 

Who says what is acceptable or not? Parents usually, and grandparents. There are countless childrens' outfits for sale for all ages that are not the requisite Boy-Blue and Girl-Pink. People buy them. Not everything has frills for girls and denim for boys.

 

When kids get older they get subjected to their peers, who will (at a certain age) begin questioning their clothing styles. When I went to school it was all about name brands and baggy clothes. Lately I guess the trend has switched to name brands and dressing like Parris Hilton.

 

Society does have a hand in it but compared to ages ago we've come a long way in opening our horizons for people. You want to wear jeans and a t-shirt as a woman now? You can. It isn't "odd" like it was in the 50s to go out in anything less than a nice dress. People used to go to church in suits and dresses. People used to ride PLANES dressed like they were going to business meetings. Now? People go to church and take trips in ripped sweatpants and wrinkly shirts because society has relaxed. (I say relaxed ... my grandparents would say "gone to hell in a handbasket" ... difference of opinion.)

 

Yep, but not only crossdressing but being a weirdo and a misfit, and there must be something wrong with you for doing that. If I wear jeans and cut my hair short, is acceptable because, how can it be bad looking like a guy? Looking alike guys trendy, is cool, is fun for girls. Looking like a girl for a guy, is simply degrading in this society. Your ticket to be picked on, harassed, insulted. Even if you´re just being yourself.

 

And what does that tell you?

 

Again, you're missing the point. Women wearing jeans and a t-shirt is not the same as a man wearing a dress. Those two things are not equal.

 

A woman would have to wear a men's business suit, or a Tuxedo ... clothing that is seen as "for men" as is a dress seen as "for women". Jeans and T-shirts are unisex. Jeans and T-shirts do not scream "for men" or "for women" on them. Women cutting their hair short and wearing jeans, to myself and everyone I know, does not make them "look guy like" - it makes them look like a woman wearing jeans with short hair.

 

Now, again, if you were to wear a Tux or men's business suit you would be ridiculed just as I would for wearing a dress. People would look at you funny and make comments about you, your sexual orientation, and your 'freakishness' just like they would me if I walked in wearing a knee-length sundress.

 

"Looking like a girl" for a guy can be seen in some circles just as bad as "looking like a guy" or "looking butch" is seem in some circles of women.

 

That for a guy, the idea of resemble an inferior being (a girl) is nothing but degrading. Even if noone wants to admit it like that nowdays, the chauvinism is still a powerful force in our society.

 

I think you're simply looking for a reason to get angry at society. You're comparing two totally separate clothing styles and shaking your fist at chauvinism like it is keeping you (or men who wish to wear dresses) down.

 

Did someone inform you before that women are "inferior" or is this just something you're coming up with on your own? I hardly see that in today's society. Maybe its just where I live, or what I watch on TV, or something ... but that just isn't the case from where I'm sitting.

[valiantv]

I disagree with Baby Carrot regarding the clothes thing, it's just there are different fashions for guys and girls. Girls get laughed at for wearing unfashionable clothes just as guys do, it's just the target of laughing is different.

 

Regarding the notion of being "whipped" the fact that girls don't get referred to as "whipped" is probably an old-fashioned historic one - since a man was supposed to control and look after his house in the olden days. Nowadays, though, women are starting to be looked-down-upon if they let the guy run their lives. And I know plenty of guys who, if they are to do something undesirable, will happily use the excuse that it is her who wants it done.

[Momene]

In England we say that someone is "under the thumb" or a "doormat".