your first post-relationship fling (or rebound, or one night stand)...

[cherries]

just wondering: did you feel good, bad, distracted, guilty, pleased or even relieved?

[NyGentleman]

Rebound I guess you can say after 4yr relationship...

Pleased, & relieved and fell somewhat hard for the girl (knew her for 2yrs as a friend) but ultimately was happy that someone else was out there that was interested...

Even though it fell apart after 4 mos, it felt good while it lasted....

[Reluctant Rebuilder]

Yes, all of the above

[cherries]

glad someone else said 'all of the above'..

i am seeing a friend on an extremely casual basis (he is a good looking guy and already has three girls on the go, plus lives in another country, so it won't come to anything and we are both clear about that).

 

it's nice to have some attention but i also feel like this intimate contact with him make me put my ex on some kind of pedestal cos he's just not the same person.

 

i'm hoping this is part of the healing process and not something that is going to work against me.

[Orlander]

It makes you feel better....and worse.

 

Orlander

[Portage]

Sorry, don't mean to steal this thread. But i'm curious, has anyone ever stayed long term with their rebound??

[cordelia]

I was with someone for 3 years and 2 weeks after the break up, I hooked up a couple of times with someone I had been friends with for years. It felt great and comforting because I already knew him so well. But I wasn't able to let it go any further than casual because I was still messed up from the break up.

 

For me anyways, it made me feel great and sexy and attractive again!

[Starrjenna]

I did it and I felt worse!! All I did was think of my ex love!! It sucked it made me miss him more. Plus I feel bad for the new guy because he is just distracting me from the one I really want!!!

[Aschleigh]

This is comforting to know, all your responces.

My ex slept with 2 people in the first 2 weeks after breaking up with me.

It's been difficult because we still talk and care about eachother but it didn't work.

I want to have sex with someone new but want to wait until I find someone I'm really interested in. I need some time to heal before I jump back into a sexual relationship, I think.

[bella321]

Hi Aschleigh,

 

I think the sleeping with as many people as possible after the break up is more of a man thing. I've read it's because they need some kind of outlet for their emotion and unfortunately, society dictates that it's unnacceptable for them to cry into a pint of ben and jerrys and talk endlessly with their friends about what went wrong.

[EddieRentz]

1 - I spent a lot of time with a girl starting 2 weeks after my recent breakup.... same answer as before - all of the above feelings were illicited

 

2 - my new ex was with me for 5.5 years directly following a 2 month break from a relationship that lasted 1.5 years. That one lasted because I was WAYYYYYY over the last girl by the time I met the now one.. despite the short time frame.

[cherries]

perhaps it helps a little that the guy i have slept with is

 

a. a friend of 2 years

b. honest about his intentions

c. not going to be around this time next month, for at least 6 months

 

so although i can project certain things onto him, i know deep down that it is a temporary fix and we are both very honest with each other and ourselves that we don't want anything to develop... even though we are good friends and get on well.

 

it can be upsetting to wake up with another guy though... it seems to being back memories of snuggling with my ex and so on, and of course, the sex is different when you are not actually in love with someone...

[Benson]

yeah sex isnt nearly as good as when you're in love..

 

maybe thats why im reluctant to get a rebound.. and the fact that all i will do is probably hurt the rebound girl in the end.

 

heh i dont like hurting people