non-muslims dating muslims

[angelbomb101]

I am a 20 year old female. I just recently started dating a 22 year old Muslim man. Walking into this relationship, I am kind of ignorant towards Islam. I don't know a whole lot about it. I only know a few of the basics. I was raised Christian but struggle in my faith; I am not so sure about Jesus being the Messiah. thereforeeee I do not claim to be a Christian but I am a firm believer in God and try to adhere to what I believe is right and wrong and do follow allot of old testament/Torah. thereforeeee allot of my bf's morals and mine are very similar.

 

For example, neither of us eat pork, drink, do drugs, smoke, lie etc.I am getting allot of mixed messages from people about dating a Muslim. I have some women that have had terrible experiences dating Muslims, telling me to run for my life. They are telling me that he might seem sweet now but as soon as things get a little bit more serious he is going to become controlling and abusive as it is part of his faith that males dominate over women etc.(this coming from their experiences). In my own research I have found nothing stating that Muslims believe this. Actually, i have read that they actually believe in the equality of man and women and are supposed to Cherish, hounor and respect women, their wives, mothers, gf's etc.

 

So far, he has been nothing but respectful towards me. He treats me fairly and we enjoy the pleasure of eachothers company. Hes always complimenting me and doing things to show me he cares as I do the same for him. In fact, this has so far been the healthiest most respectful relationship i've experienced. I have dated athiest men and christian men, and from my own experiences any kind of man no matter wut his religious faith is, he can be controlling, dominant and abusive.

 

So i stand believing that you can't stereotype anybody by their relgious faith and that just because he is a Muslim doesnt mean he fits the status quo of what those other women experienced. He is an individual, u can't label people as a whole. I would just like some opinions from people or some experiences people may have had dating a Muslim.Or if u'd like to tell me something you think is important for me to know while dating a Muslim that would be great also. Preferably I would like to hear something positive but the negative are welcome too!

[Day_Walker]

I dont know how closely your bf aheres to Islamic beliefs but I believe it is not appropriate for him to date a non-muslim, perhaps I could be wrong but other than that I dont think that this situation is any different than a normal dating situation. If you happen to like this guy then you like him and if he returns the favor then so be it.

[hk87]

Day Walker: Muslim men can date or marry Jews, Christians and Muslims, it is only Muslim women who are only allowed to date Muslims.

My dad is a strict muslim, my mum was a christian and I have been brought up muslim, but not strictly. I have many of the same beliefs as you. Your boyfriend may become stricter as time goes on, as his family would prefer him to marry within his faith and there might be pressure on you to convert. However, he also may not mind and you will live together peacefully. Males do tend to dominate in the Muslim faith but not always. I have yet to see where this is not the case though when they are married. It is a tricky situation as Muslims are altogether pretty strict on everything they do.

 

Hk87

[rocio]

There are anywhere from 1.2 to 1.6 billion muslims worldwide. Just because a woman was stupid enough to let one of them mistreat her doesn't mean that they are bad.

 

If you ever feel that you are being mistreated, then you need to either fix the relationship immediately or get out.

 

However, Islam is a beautiful religion and the great majority of muslim men are respectful of women. I did date one for a few months, and we are still friends. He was a wonderful person.

 

I am curious, though - which country did he grow up in? That is a much better indicator of his attitude toward women than his religion.

[rocio]

Muslims are altogether pretty strict on everything they do.

Hk87

 

I disagree. It really depends on the family and the individual. Many muslims smoke, drink, don't pray, etc. but still consider themselves to be 100% muslim. If you want to know how strict he is, you need to find out from him.

[hk87]

Hazey Amber

I am one, and my dad is, and I know a great many. The Muslim religion is generally speaking seen to be very strict

[hk87]

Tell me about it, my dad goes insane every time the news appears on TV.

[cordelia]

I am muslim as well and know other muslims and yes it does depend on the family you come from and how religious and strict they are.

My parents are very liberal and I date who I want. I know other muslims as well who's parents (like mine) would PREFER that they date/marry another muslim but are not about to make their life hell over it.

 

Also, I have dated a controlling possesive man before and he was white and Anglican. And I've dated a muslim man who was not like that at all (with me or with his other girlfriends! lol)

 

I don't think all muslim men can be generalized as being that way. It really depends on their upbringing.

[jimthzz]

just don't get talked into one of those temporary marriages as a way to convince you to sleep with him.

 

If you agree to it you'll never get married in the more traditional sense.

[cordelia]

Yes the wars that are going on do give Islam a bad name, I won't argue with that. I'm just saying that not ALL muslims are that obsessive about their religion.

[angelbomb101]

i cant agree with you more. I really appreciate your imput. Thanks!

[GeneralLee]

There is nothing wrong with a relationship between people of different faiths, ethnicities, nationalities, or anything else. Although Muslims, Jews and Christians don't get along well, I firmly believe we are all worshiping the same God, only by different names. You sound as though you have very Jewish beliefs, not believeing Christ to be the Messiah, and following the Old Testament, and thats wonderful (I'm Catholic, so I'm not supposed to say that, but you won't tell anyone will you?). In the end it all comes back to the heart. Believe what you know in your heart to believe, and love who you know in your heart, you love.

[angelbomb101]

There is nothing wrong with a relationship between people of different faiths, ethnicities, nationalities, or anything else. Although Muslims, Jews and Christians don't get along well, I firmly believe we are all worshiping the same God, only by different names. You sound as though you have very Jewish beliefs, not believeing Christ to be the Messiah, and following the Old Testament, and thats wonderful (I'm Catholic, so I'm not supposed to say that, but you won't tell anyone will you?). In the end it all comes back to the heart. Believe what you know in your heart to believe, and love who you know in your heart, you love.

 

Well, I was born n raised in a very Christian home. And I really dont know what happened. At one point I was very hungry for God n very much into Jesus. Then i dug a little too deep i guess. I studied all different kinds of offshoots of christianity. Catholicism, seventh day adventists, mormonism, jehova's witness.Studied allot of hebrew text. And then from reading old testament vs new testament I saw that it was a long shot at being truth.(New testament) i'm not saying that jesus wasnt the messiah. i really dont know. Thats why im having such a perdicament in my faith. I want to believe that he was but at the same time i have problems believing it because of the oneness of God. Like does the trinity; father, son , holy spirit..really entitle God to being one. Old testament is very clear that God is one and that no other God shall come before him, and when i look at Christianity I see people worshipping Jesus above God the father.Some would claim he is the same person but in old testiment God is God. There is no referal to God being "Jesus". That really bothers me. In a way I see it as idoltry. So because of all that i tried to reject the entire idea of God altogether, so i made allot of really dumb decisions and made allot of mistakes that all led me back to God. And now here I am. I can't classify myself as anything really. Which is kind of a religious identity crisis.lol. I still pray, just not in the name of Jesus. I still believe in satan and demons theres no doubt in my mind that they exist. I still believe in heaven and hell, still believe in the day of judgement. I don't really practise allot of the Jewish traditions. Although I guess most of my beliefs really do come from old testament or Torah. HEY! if anyone knows what to call my faith! please let me know! it would be a great help..!

[jimthzz]

Your faith is unfocused at this point. You need a more rigorous attempt to study the Hebrew Bible and the Christian Bible.

 

A lot of people make the mistake of picking and choosing cafeteria style when deciding just what to believe.

 

I wish you well on your quest.

[Daddy Bear]

He will probably want you to convert, but I don't see anything wrong with that. If this is a healthy relationship, I wish you all happiness together.

[angelbomb101]

Your faith is unfocused at this point. You need a more rigorous attempt to study the Hebrew Bible and the Christian Bible.

 

A lot of people make the mistake of picking and choosing cafeteria style when deciding just what to believe.

 

I wish you well on your quest.

 

You are very correct ! Many people do pick n choose cafeteria style..i dont want to be one of those people Thank you for your wishes!