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angelbomb101

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  1. I'm a white girl, dating a black man. I'm a Christian and he's a Muslim. Yes we get stared at, yes we get rude and crude comments said about us. That's just how some people are. They're ignorant and stuck in their ways, especially the older generations. And the ignorance that lies within usually comes from the way people were raised and whatever race was dominant in their part of the world effects it as well. Im from a small hick town, where everyone is racist and everyone is white. My bf is from Africa and is the small minority in the small city I live in now. We've been together now for 3 years. I cannot imagine my life without him. Our relationship is about "Us". It is not about other people, it is not about what other people think or say or even do to try and destroy what a wonderful thing we have. Other people do not matter in this issue, race does not matter in this issue. He is an amazing man and I am a woman and we love eachother and want to be together. Love can be strong enough to bind anyone together. Being from a white christian family, you can imagine how everyone reacted when i brought home a black Muslim man. I find that generally, the reason for allot of this "ignorism" is because allot of white people in the area I live have never been around Black people. They don't know how to act, they don't know what to say, they're constantly worried theyre going to offend the other person accidently, and of course they have heard allot of stereotypes and are not sure what to believe. When i brought my hunny home with me to meet my family, everyone acted very strange. Nobody acted like themselves. They tried to avoid eye contact with him, tried to ignore his presense or they would bombard him with very strange questions and the youngest siblings in my family(under the age of eight) could not stop staring at him. My friends acted the same way when they met him. It wasn't because they had anything against him personally and it had nothing to do with the fact that they didnt like black people. It mostly just had to do with the fact that they had never known or even seen a black person before. A few friends of mine did have a problem with me dating a black man. They would make rude comments, such as "I can't believe your dating a N****!" or they would constantly try to fill my head up with crazy stereotypes that he was going to cheat on me all of the time, and use me for sex, treat me like crap, and eventually catch an STD and give me AIDs. Which is rediculous. I learned who my true friends were. My true friends got to know him, they made an effort to see why I was with him rather than make assumptions and so did my family. Now they all adore him. Allot of people assumed right from the beginning that I was with him because he was black or that he was only with me because I was white and they were very wrong to make that assumption. The only reason i dated him, was because he had outstanding moral integrity and strong faith and that has also been the cornerstone of our relationship. Does it really matter what strangers think? and If someone in your life is making negative assumptions and judgements just because of the race of your partner do you really think they're worth keeping around? Another thing, North America is made up of generations of people that exist because of immigration and from multicultural/interracial marriages. I am a white girl but my hertiage is so unbelievably complicated. In my bloodline, I come from a British, Scottish, German, Jewish, Irish and Metis heritage. Allot of those countries, or cultures over history have been in war with eachother at some point in time. And now that more darker skinned people are moving to North America I do strongly believe that it will be more accepted in society over time. But if people give up, if people decide that what society thinks is more important, or if people think that it's just to hard to face in life, it will never happen. Someone has to fight for equality and actions speak louder than words. I will never let the world shape and make the decisions for me in this life and nobody should.
  2. aww chicky, that guys got playah written all over him! that sucks so bad. I've had a similar thing happen to me. You said that you're really scared about having an std and going to get tested. From reading peoples posts, they sure havnt been supportive in that manner. So don't be scared about it gurly! U make an appointment with your doctor, you tell them what its for and u go in and have a pap smear done. I don't know if u've ever had a pap done but if not and ur sexually active you may as well get that over with while ur there. It's not so bad. It can be a little uncomfortable and i know its weird showing your doctor your personal parts and having him touch around down there. But he/she is a professional. They arnt doing it to violate you, theyre doing it to make sure ur healthy! Everything is kept confidential.It's not painful if u relax and remember to breathe. And as for having an std. It could be quite possible. Condoms arnt 100%. Try not to worry so much about that either. The majority of sti's are very treatable and most of them are caused from bacteria. The words STD, can be very scary, when in fact if they are diagnosed early are usually not that big of a deal. By big deal I mean it's not life threatening and its not the end of the world. Society can make you feel soo lousy about having an STI. If people find out about it, they automatically think your a tramp, or have allot of unprotected sex with multiple partners and people finding out can be very devistating to someones reputation which is very sad. Majority of people carrying STI's dont even know they have it. Allot of people dont show any signs or symtoms of the infection. I caught an sti once from someone who played me, in a very similar way that this guy played you. I caught clamydia, I was one of the few percentages of women that experience symptoms of clamydia so i got lucky because I knew from the way my body was acting a few days later that I had caught something from him. If your sexually active, it's very important to get tested everytime u change partners. Because there are little to few symtpoms and the majority of people dont experience symptoms. Having an STI for long periods of time without treatment can be very dangerous to your health. It can cause infertility, some even cancer. So make sure your taking care of yourself and getting uself tested annually.
  3. Diet is the most important factor in all of this. You canot lift more weights and heavier weights and expect to bulk up. Thats not gonna happen. If you want to bulk up ur going to have to eat ALLOT, allot of carbs to gain fat and allot of protein to gain muscle while weight training making sure that ur not burning all ur required fat while exercising. I suggest you decide what look you want and go see a specialist. They are the ones that are gonna know the most about it. There are allot of "theorys" and "wisetales" out there about how to bulk up etc. Some are very harmful and many of them don't work. You can find allot of good weight trainers out there that will help you reach your goal in a healthy manner and will do it specifically for your build and body type.
  4. I would be very careful in getting diagnosed. I had gone through an assessment when I was about 14 years old and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. They put me on medication, and set me up with a psychologist to talk to. It seemed like anything I did was because I had bipolar disorder, not just because I was a human being that had some emotional problems. As I got older I started to wonder if I was actually bipolar or not. Yes i did exert symtpoms of bipolar disorder but i decided to do some of my own research. I talked to allot of people who had bipolar disorder and was baffled when i found out what most of us had in common. All of us had been through some extreme cases of abuse. I was raised in a home with an alcoholic father who was emotionally, verbally, physically, and sexually abusive. So i had to ask myself would going through this kind of abuse growing up incline me to have a mental disorder?! Anyone that endures abuse usually ends up with problems but are they mental problems? Of course i've struggled with self-worth issues, anger issues, not being able to deal or handle my emotions, brokenness, depression, etc etc..LOTS of things. When i was about 17 I had had enough of dealing with therapists who told me that i had this mental disorder and couldn't tell me why I had it. So i went looking for someone that could help me solve the root of my problems rather then mask it over with prescrition drugs and slap a label on me and say this is why u are the way u are. I saw about 7 different psychologists in my search and they were all the same. I finally found something helpful. I started seeing a Christian Psychologist(not for everyone but it worked for me). She was able to help me work out my problems from the inside out. She helped me get to the roots of the problems, She told me that in most cases of people that have been labeled with mental disorders what they truly suffered from are matters of the heart. She was able to give me the tools and resources i needed to work those problems through and start living a more stable, balanced and healthy lifestlye, without medication! And its been a struggle but it has helped me more than anything else has! I am however still working through it. You tend to have allot of emotional baggage when you come out of any abusive situation. I hope this might help!
  5. plus u could look at it in another way. why do older guys date younger girls? and from what i remember in highschool, there was always a bet giong on amongst the senior guys, on who could score or devirginize the hottest freshmen. Plus, younger girls are easier to manipulate because theyre more nieve and generally havnt been given allot of attention from the oppisite sex yet, especialy when theyre freshmen.
  6. you've proably heard that girls date guys who are older because girls mature faster than guys and want an older guy that is more at their level. This might be true im really not sure. I personally don't think thats it, especially in highschool. I remember highschool it wasnt that long ago for me and from what i remember the younger chicks always dated the older guys because it made them feel older, look "cooler", get them a shot at going to prom. It was mostly done for shallow reasons where there arose a shot at popularity.
  7. I think that all depends on your levels of committment. There is no real way how to tell if ur supposed to be lovers.. or be friends. You both make that mutal choice to be lovers and you will probably find that when u are in a committed relationship with someone, your lover will also be your friend. Most likely your best friend. Friendship is something thats very important to have in a relationship. As for just being friends with someone i guess that depends on how intimate u want to be with that person.
  8. You are very correct ! Many people do pick n choose cafeteria style..i dont want to be one of those people Thank you for your wishes!
  9. I dont dig the card thing. I think its kinda pointless..ooo a card. I dunno perhaps thats just me. Id get him something depending on how quickly i wanted to move things along. If i wasnt looking for a serious relationship with him right away, I wouldnt bother. If i was hoping that our relationship would progress into something serious, id get him something small n something i know hes gonna like. Like a dvd, cd or if he plays guitar buy hims some new guitar stings n pics or something. Gag gifts are always good if the guys gotta good sense of humor. If hes notta funny guy prolly notta good idea. that might just confuse him.Try to keep it inexpensive. He may be jsut as confused as to what or if he should get you something and u wudnt wanna freak him out by overspending.
  10. Gay marriage has been legalized here in Canada! WOO!
  11. As much as we hate to admit it because of how stupid and nieve we feel for falling for their little game, all of us have been played. I've had men lead me on, get what they want and disappear so fast, they forgot they still had my panties on. (haha *laughs at self) So i thought it would be fun and slightly entertaining to post this thread. See points of views from both sexes about their experiences with players so to maybe benefit eachother in future times so we can avoid being ripped apart and on. In my experiences, players come in many shapes and sizes and some play the game better than others. The ones that are best at being players are the ones that are charming, seem sweet and don't lie; they just leave parts out. They give out as little information about themselves as possible. They avoid all intimate details about their lives. Don't talk about their feelings or past dating experiences. They intrigue you with their great "charming" personality by convincing you that you are the most beautiful creature they have ever laid eyes on and they would saw off an arm and a leg to be with you. They make you feel damn special! And you feel like its too good to be true! Beware!!! This person isn't looking for a relationship. Maybe a long-term fling but they do not want to get emotionally involved. Some players are willing to work very hard for what they want and its not your mind.! Another kind of player I have stumbled accross, Is the player of MIND GAMES! They lie, cheat and manipulate another person into getting what they want. It sounds like you'd be able to spot this kind of player as soon as the game was on. That's not always true. If the person is good at playing mind games, they know exactly how to get what they want and exactly what strings to pull to get it. Quite often, emotional abuse is something they use against us. Example: Pretending that theyre angry at you for something rediculous that you did, like calling them half an hour later than you said you would. Or for looking at a member of the oppisite sex with "lust" in your eyes. I've noticed with allot of mind game players, anger and Jealousy, is something they use allot. They are always trying to make you apologize to them and are constantly trying to make you feel bad about the way you are treating them. Even if you arn't treating them badly at all. Also, in most cases this is definitely a red flag of any formation of an abusive relationship and best to run for your life! If you are easily manipulated he may overstay his visit. So if Anyone has anything to add PLEASE do!! Im not just looking for definitions of what a player is, also stories you wanna share or if you need advice about someone ur dating and ur not sure if theyre a player. I'd love to hear it!
  12. i will add to that because i feel like i forgot something. If you lay off and give her some space perhaps then she will feel like shes not getting enough attention from you and she will start to initiate and seek your attention.
  13. hmm..in ways i also agree with heloladies. Generally, problems in the bedroom come from a woman not feeling emotionally close to her man. But thinking about it i've had some experiences myself where i felt smothered by my man. where he was too clingy, to needy, too nice, too good, too concerned, too romantic and that can be a turn off as well. In my experiences with that, I felt like he wanted something from me and was willing to work very hard to get it.That only made me want to push him away. Perhaps your wife likes to Chase after things she feels she needs emotionally and she doesnt need to chase after them so its a turn off. Im just throwing this out there. Perhaps you need to stop doing what you're doing. Maybe you're too good to her! I know that may sound weird but maybe lay off a bit n see wut happens. If you've been doing something to change your situation and its not working perhaps you need to try something new.
  14. Yeah, probably wouldnt hold a court case but i wasn't asking that. Just if its a violation of another person rights.
  15. so this girls rights were not violated at all? She said no. She may have been consenting to sex but she wasnt consenting to him cumming inside of her. She told him to stop and he didnt?
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