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At the risk of appearing rude

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Hi guys.

I have a problem, and I am hoping that someone here can give me some advice.


I want to start by saying that this post is not a joke , I really dont know how to hanndle this.


I am hosting Christmas dinner, I am expecting about fifteen family and friends.


among these guests is my good friend, she is 56 , and her son who is in his 30's. ( I am just going to be blunt and say this, really hoping that I dont offend anyone. They are both morbidly obeses, now my Dillema.


I have been collecting antique furniture my entire life. I have got to the point where I have beautiful, and expensive pieces. Somehow , and for some reason my friend and her son migrate towards these chairs.They dont fit in, but they sit on the edge, and the poor chairs cannott take it, and they cannott be replaced.


I dont at all have a problem with them on the couch. But I dont want to appear awkward about steering them this way, and as I am cooking I wont be able to subtley control this anyway.


I am wandering should I just be honest with her in private , and somehow ask her to choose the couch (and her son )


I have also thought that I could tell my kids and there people to scrammble to grab the chairs, and leave the couch as an only choice, but I feel that I will betray her in this way , that everyone is in on this secret but her, and I dont want to make it sick or twisted.


She is sensitive, and I love her to pieces, HOW should I handle this !


Some of you may say its just furniture, But as I said before it is not something you can just find anywhere, or afford again.


They dont come over often, the son hasnt been here since last Christmas so its not an ongoing problem, but since last year they have both put on mor weight, and even last year I was uncomfortable. They are coming to my moms Christmas ever as well, she feels the same way about her furniture.


I await your thoughts.



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Well, simply take away the furniture somewhere else, if you don't have a place, you can rent a warehouse for a few days to store them there, and get some other average chairs for they to sit.


If they ask about the antiques, tell them they're being repaired, or re painted or invent something only collectors know about.


You don't have to mention anything about their weight. Just make it really casual, like "Oh man, we're short of chairs now the antiques are being ___________ (insert pretext here) so be kind enough to use this plastic chairs, I'm so sorry"


That's what I'd do, specially since they don't come over often.

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Its not just the dinning room chairs it all the chairs in the living room as well, I mean everything that I own is antique, the only piece of furniture that can take the weight is the couch. I would have to take everything I own away...And then my house just wouldnt be ,,,my house ya know. So you dont think I can gently bring this up with her. I would need to go to a furniture rental place and at this stage of the game I dont want to, and cant.


As for the dinner that is easy, I will use place cards, it lounging around the Christmas tree after that is the problem.

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Ooohhh man, I didn't think about that. Hmmmm - - -


Can you do this and play it off?


Place placecards at EVERY chair and state that it's part of a game. You need each person to sit at their placesetting throughout the party in order for the game plan to go accordingly?


I know this is going out on a limb. I just can't stand the thought of you having to "ask" them to sit on the couch!

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I am wandering should I just be honest with her in private , and somehow ask her to choose the couch (and her son )


That could really hurt her feelings, no matter how gentle you try to be.


Somehow , and for some reason my friend and her son migrate towards these chairs.They dont fit in, but they sit on the edge, and the poor chairs cannott take it, and they cannott be replaced.


If they did not break already, what are the chances they will break at this Christmas Party?


Honestly, if it were me, I'd take my chances and not do or say anything, especially if you consider them friends.


The most you could do is:


*Take out all of the antique chairs and use folding chairs in their place.


*Try to steer the other guests that arrive before them to sit in the chairs....and keep them off the couch so it is available as a seat to your friend and her son. Maybe when your friend and her son come in, take their coats, lead them to the couch and just say "have a seat, make yourselves comfortable, can I get you a drink"


You can't make it obvious.



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you could just say..."i think the couch is the most comfortable place in the house" and lead them to it...and make a joke like..."those antique chairs sure look pretty but they're just not that comfortable"....the point is...you are not insulting them, but you are telling them your wishes...you are the host and you should have some control over your space...also... place settings are very common at parties, so it should not be a big deal to have them.

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Thank-you all that have replyed. I will try my best to steer them to the couch, (may be difficult because like I said I need to cook as well )


Part of me gets mad , I find it insensitive of them not to just go towards a more sturdy seat. My girlfriend knows what I piad, and how passionate I am about antiques....its been a life long collection. If I were this weight I would not sit where I knew I would be compromoising firniture.


For this reason alone I almost did not invite them, but I know she loves to come, and without me and my family she would be celebtating with just her son. I would have felt pretty bad to excude them, and they would have too, as it has become a tradition.

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Agree with the above posters, say firmly 'I want you to be comfortable, I think the couch is the best seat in here.' And then just steer them firmly to where they should sit. I know what you mean, but I think you have to be thoughtful and clear - you're the hostess, you can put them where they will be the most comfortable, doing it lightly and delicately.

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