Beginning to Lose Hope :( Need Advice

[wolfcry]

I'm beginning to lose hope in finding love. I'm 19 years old (college freshmen), and throughout my entire life, I've been dealing with unrequited love. I've dated some girls, and then I've fallen for them, but they just don't feel the same way. I feel that women like to hurt me.

 

I'm the kind guy that everyone likes, but I can't find love. I mean I do go out and meet people. I even throw parties so I can meet girls. I am getting very frustrated. I think I'm getting so frustrated that it is turning into anger and depression.

 

I've been thinking that I could possibly be in Hell, since everyone around me gets into relationships so easily. My roommate for example has sex with a different college girl every week. After screwing so many girls, he found one that he liked or maybe he just liked the sex, who knows? Anyway, I have animosity towards him because of what he does. My neighbor has never had a girlfriend, but then he met a girl one night, and then the next day, they were in a relationship and it was at a party that I was throwing.

 

This one girl I dated told her one friend that she digs me, and my good friend told me that. Wow, what a lie! Obviously, I like her, and I texted her saying that I like you more than a friend. Psh, she hasn't responded, which is very typical since I have reason to believe that she is trying her hardest to avoid me. Now, you have one example of what has happened to me throughout my life.

 

For all of you that have found that special one, that have a girlfriend that you love or a wife that you have a deep bond with, I envy you. I envy you because you have obtained what I will never obtain. Maybe, you have strength that I don't have. Maybe, I was meant to be alone. Maybe, I'm just too different.

 

I would appreciate any advice at this point to make my life better. Being so alone makes me want to jump out a window. My parents don't understand. They keep telling me I'll find someone, but I keep telling them, "Wow, you really make it sound easy don't you."

 

Thanks for reading.

[Luck of the Irish]

Stop whining. That's one thing that will push women (and your buddies,too) away. You're 19, in college. You throw parties and apparently have at least a few good friends. You get out and date girls. What's so bad about your life? These girls aren't obligated to love you. I can tell you what you're doing wrong. You're trying to damn hard. Stop throwing parties and start going to them. If you're stressing about making an image by throwing a party, or forcing love into your life, your image will come off as uptight or desperate. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. I guarantee you that love has passed you by at least once because you're trying to force it into your life. Love happens when you are happy with yourself, and you are happy being yourself. Women can read you and me like a book, and this negativity sends them running for the hills.

 

I envy you because you have obtained what I will never obtain.

In all 19 years of your life, you have experienced it all?

 

Here's another big problem you have:

Maybe, I was meant to be alone.

Maybe, I'm just too different.

[Maybe, you have strength that I don't have.

 

I see a whole hell of a lot of maybe's. You have no self confidence. You're right. With this attitude, maybe someday you will get there. Probably not. Why not just quit now? Either that, or accept the fact that love may never find you, and if it does, it is not only not easy, it will be the hardest thing you will ever go through. Come to terms with this, and you will be fine. Maybe...

[Boughs]

Strength and Honor.

 

Like Luck of the Irish's sig is, gotta show strength. Prove you are worth something... but don't be overly confident. Just relax, continue being friendly and things may happen. Don't pursue in the start, you must detect if a girl likes you or not from a general conversation.

 

Throwing parties does NOT get you a girl. Girls don't date party throwers... something I've come to learn.

[stopit]

I know it's tough, especially when the events in your life seem to reinforce this idea of loneliness. Part of it is chance, but part of it is attitude. In your post you basically say love is impossible for you, and it's that very attitude that proves self defeating.

 

Everyone moves at their own pace. Just because the people around you have what you want, doesn't mean you can unleash your anger on them. It's not their fault - there is no fault to be designated in the first place. There is no problem for which fault must result, because your situation, especially at 19 and especially as a college freshman, is more common that you think. And there's nothing wrong with it except for the fact that you've fixated all your attention on it, making it seem like a problem, like an overwhelming insurmountable barrier. This isn't a game with an end result, a competition or anything like that. There are no requirements, no deadlines and no strategies. It's not like throwing parties will win you the prize of love, or like you must accomplish something before you're 19. What comes will come - be patient.

 

I agree with Luck of the Irish. You have impossibly high standards and are embittered when they aren't fulfilled. So drop the expectations. You're not going to find a meaningful, lasting relationship in one night. You may find someone you click with, someone you find interesting, and that's what matters. As for what you said about thinking women wanting to hurt you - well, that's a red flag, suffice to say.

 

As for people not understanding you, well, your frustration is understandable, but your anger is unwarranted. Realize that there a lots of guys out there who can't even get a date, and yet you've got dates, you've got charisma and you can talk to women. You seem to be doing your part, and with an attitude change you might get somewhere. But part of it's chance - a lot of people in college simply want flings and don't want long term relationships like you do. Finding someone with compatible wants takes time, and again, it takes patience.

[mikeca]

hey you sound like a mature soul, seems to be alot of us on here.

 

dont worry to much about the quantity of girls, its quality, one will steal your heart and you'll never knew what hit you, trust me.

[veneratio]

Don't give up so easily. At 19 a lot of people don't know what they want. It might seem like girls are just messing with your head--which some do--but maybe they're just confused?

 

You can't make love come to you, when you seek out something that's usually when you don't find it. It has to come naturally. Not forced.

 

As luck of the irish said, you have to love yourself to receive love. And most women don't respect men with no backbone. It turns them away. I've learned that the hard way by being too nice.

[Weeblie]

So what have you done to meet someone?