Is it possible to be just friends with someone you are in love with who doesn't love

[copag]

Is it possible to be just friends with someone you are in love with who doesn't love u back?

[renaissancewoman101]

You can, but it is a tough road. You just have to not let your attraction and love feelings for the other person, overrule your life, and keep things on a platonic level.

 

It can be done, but it is a painful road

[Clementine orange]

Masochist? But then again, consider the alternatives. Pay attention that it doesn't prevent you from finding someone with whom your love is recipicated.

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Doing it right now It sucks but at least you can be there for them. Just don't let yourself get to hurt!

[renaissancewoman101]

If you care about the person and the person means something to you, then keeping a friendship is a good thing. It is just an uphill battle and will tax your emotions and sanity immensely.

[walkingwithaghost]

It sounds like a very painful situation you are describing. I would say stop talking to this person for a little while.

[blender]

Nope it's not possible, because of how it will make you feel, and because it's not sincere, it's fake, it's pretending to be happy when and if they fall in love with someone, and pretending you're okay with just "being there".. and if it hurts your heart to just be a "friend" then it will only lead to "resentment" on your part.. you will be secretly wishing it were more, so for right now, just for awhile, just stay away a bit, and get busy with YOUR life, and who knows he met discover he misses you being around, and you might even discover there is a whole new world out there and so many wonderful guys to meet and YOU are wonderful too.. so take some time to stay away for a bit...

[veneratio]

It didn't work for me. Before I was with my girlfriend, it tore me up inside. It made it worse, seeing her with other people, talking about other guys to me. And as blender said, you become resentful. Or atleast I did.

[likeable]

I reckon it's a good idea to take it easy and not pay too much attention, both for yourself and for the friendship ... if your friend doesn't feel the same about you then they may end up feeling claustrophobic or uncomfortable with your attention, and you won't be getting what you want either. If you're able to let go and leave some space you might be able to establish a good friendship - just don't delude yourself about what you're after, and don't expect too much or you'll be hurt!

[bobster]

No way in this world could you be friends with someone you are in love with who doesn't love you back. As said above, it is very painful and can actually destroy your mind and sensibility.

[kiwifly]

I've managed to stay friends with someone that I loved very much but who didn't love me back. It was difficult for the first year or so, but after my love for him translated into respect for his decision and happiness for what made him happy. Now we're good friends and I'd say I still love him, but that love transformed to something else along the way.

[bobster]

Well there you are, its not impossible, but for me it would be!!!!

[Budman]

It really depends on the person, but I personally could not do it.

 

Everytime they talk about a relationship

 

Everytime they talk about a hard time (and me wanting to grab and hold them)

 

Everytime I sit near them.

 

Everytime I hear their name.

 

I would go insane losing respect and dignitity for myself, and I would fall further and further in love with the person. Making new prospects much less appealling to me. Make my love life miserable, and make my mind swirl on thoughts of lonelyness forever.

 

Its just a no go for me. (Especially if I useded to date the person)

[Shudder]

in my opinion no. it happened to me once and the feelings werent returned. lots of drama followed and after that i told myself that such a situation will never be repeated again. i think some people can do it, however i know its not possible for me

[No Spaces Rob]

If you are in this situation, try not to put their interests before your own. It isn't fair for you to worry about someone else's needs over your own, when they wouldn't do the same for you.

 

If the friendship doesn't work out, then don't feel bad about it and don't take it as a personal failure. It's a tough situation and it doesn't always work out, and usually it is not your fault.

 

If the friendship does work out, great. My personal opinion is that it would only work comfortably if you both are willing to acknowledge the truth of the situation - ie that you love him/her, but they don't feel the same way about you.

[rosie76]

I tried it and it didn't work. Spent years caring so much and wanting to be there for him, but really think I was just waiting for him to change him mind. I blamed myself for being too selfish to just want him to be happy. But really it couldn't have been any other way as the friendship couldn't have ever been mutual - I simply felt way too much and you can't force that away. Was healthier in the long run to let it go, though the hardest thing to give up and say goodbye. Been over two years now and I'm just starting to feel better about myself and to think we could meet up again in a properly mutual way. And the occaisional email shows that when it can be mutual, it will be. If you're really friends to begin with, the time (years!) you need to get over them romantically won't kill the friendship. But not being honest with yourself or with them about what you want out of the friendship and the resentment and hurt and self-loathing you can churn up by trying to be 'just friends' would have done for me. But this is just me - maybe stronger or more disciplined / honest people would have done better with this. Good luck.

[x_OhSoTragic]

I know what you're going through, the exact same thing is happening between me and my friend Eric. Does this person not love you because he/she is taken? if so then jus wait until the relationship dies to make a move. I made the mistake of asking him to dumb his girl for me, and now he doesnt have very strong feelings for me. Discuss with him/her how you feel and get some insight on thier ed of the terminal.

[sky508]

I am in love with a guy and he thinks I'm immature because I can't be around him because of how I feel about him. He says that he has girls he had crushes on and still hung out with them. I say it can't be done, why should I subject myself to seeing him with another woman? It hurts too much.

[river dog]

Is it possible to be just friends with someone you are in love with who doesn't love u back?

 

There lies the path of madness. Unrequited love has been the inspiration for great art, music and literature for centuries. If you can't paint, play or write I would strongly advise against it.

[bruce21b]

to the original poster...i am a newbie on this board but please see my recent posts in "finding love and soulmate" section...

 

PLEASE do not even go down that road, as i have learned several time in my life...and most painfully am going through it right now....

 

getting stuck in the "friend zone" with someone you have feelings for is a very painful and empty experience unless you enjoy getting your heart ripped out of your chest on a daily basis...

 

i recently ended a friendship with a girl who i had deep and intense feelings for... come to find out i was only seen by her as a "mediocre" friend who she always had to keep at a distance.....as some other posters have said, you will feel resentful and angry for being taken as a "chump"...i know i have...

 

but cutting all ties to the person and letting go brings a degree of relief, along with talking to people on this board that are in the same situation.....