Anyone else get tired of bf/gf's?????

[Yvette84]

Why is it that I am ALWAYS searching for that "New" euphoric feeling???? I know it's just temporary. I get tired of every guy I date once that newness is gone. I know that sounds terrible and I hate being like this. I don't wanna just date around pointlessly. it's not about having "fun". I want a serious commited relationship and marriage someday not too far from now. So why is it that I get tired of guy after guy?? I mean even if i'm in love with the guy! Anyone else have this problem???

[Lady Bugg]

Yvette.............I hate to inform you...but life is not a Harlequin romance.

I'm not saying that to be belittling.........but REAL relationships take REAL work. That includes being bored sometimes....not always feeling romantic and yes..dealing with a partners bad moods or mood swings. As long as there is NO abuse involved.....then being in these relationships CAN be fulfilling. It is a matter of expectations. REALISTIC expectations.

[Lost in fairytales]

I know what you are trying to say. Yes, it's in built within us that we are always after a new adventure, a new style...a new person. The fact that we get '"New" euphoric feeling' is because we are getting to know a stranger and we see all the good things they have to offer, while blind to the flaws behind the 'perfect' exterior. Once we have the person, we'll soon start to realise their short comings, it's easy loose that initial attraction.

 

The reason for your to get tired after dating a guy for a while is because you haven't yet found the quality you wanted in those guys. Once you have found a person, and like him because of who he is deep down, i am sure you won't have trouble committing.

[Yvette84]

I know what you are trying to say. Yes, it's in built within us that we are always after a new adventure, a new style...a new person. The fact that we get '"New" euphoric feeling' is because we are getting to know a stranger and we see all the good things they have to offer, while blind to the flaws behind the 'perfect' exterior. Once we have the person, we'll soon start to realise their short comings, it's easy loose that initial attraction.

 

The reason for your to get tired after dating a guy for a while is because you haven't yet found the quality you wanted in those guys. Once you have found a person, and like him because of who he is deep down, i am sure you won't have trouble committing.

but that's the problem! I have found guys with the qualities I want. They will be like the perfect guys and everyone will say I'm an idiot for not wanting them...but for some reason I still get tired of them

[kellbell]

I never get tired of my boyfriend. Never. I love being with him and I treasure him very much. After almost a year of going out, I STILL get butterflies.

[Lost in fairytales]

Maybe you think they have the qualities you are after because everyone else says those qualities are good. Maybey you don't want 'perfect guys', but the perfect guy FOR you (he himself may not be perfect).

[n83]

Maybe you're just not ready to settle down yet, and you know it. If you were in your 30s, 40s, or 50s, I'd be more worried, but your inclinations are pretty natural for your age.

[doyathink]

I know exactly what your saying. I too was like this all my life...until I finally found a man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. ( it never went away, I just learned to focus on my relationship)

 

I think when you a person who is like this...it's something you have to fight with your entire life...but the older you get, the easier it is to fight.

[Batya33]

I agree that the problem is your expectations and that you chose to ignore the qualities that didn't work for you - he has no "edge" (i.e. "too nice" or "bland") and chose to see him every day for the first three weeks which I mentioned and others too could lead to burn out. If you and he have the time to see each other every single day then it might be because you don't have enough going on in your lives otherwise which can lead to boredom with each other.

[Yvette84]

I never get tired of my boyfriend. Never. I love being with him and I treasure him very much. After almost a year of going out, I STILL get butterflies.

how often do you see each other???

[Yvette84]

I agree that the problem is your expectations and that you chose to ignore the qualities that didn't work for you - he has no "edge" (i.e. "too nice" or "bland") and chose to see him every day for the first three weeks which I mentioned and others too could lead to burn out. If you and he have the time to see each other every single day then it might be because you don't have enough going on in your lives otherwise which can lead to boredom with each other.

he's on workers comp right now so he's always doing nothing! once he gets back to work we won't see each other that much at all. But that could take months!!! I just don't know how to say "hey, lets spend less time together" without it sounding like I'm tired of him.

[Batya33]

Say that you like him and enjoy spending time with him and in the interests of having a long term relationship you tihnk it's best if you spend a little less time together so you can have some breathing room and see your friends, do your activities, etc.

 

This is why I am a strong advocate of starting out seeing each other once or twice a week and then increasing the time spent together rather than starting off the way you did and then having this kind of situation.

[dogheadma]

It's because you're too young to be thinking about settling down right now. Trust me, there will be plenty of time for that a few years from now. You'll know when you're ready. You're only young once. Now's the time to live it up; have some fun and build some good memories and experiences that will last you a lifetime! Enjoy!

[RayKay]

Maybe first of all you are going for people you "think" are what you want, rather than the ones with qualities you really do need and want.

 

Second, maybe your expectations aren't fair.

 

I can say I NEVER get bored of my boyfriend. Even if we are doing "nothing" there can be great enjoyment in our time together.

 

There is definitely a great sense of comfort and security together, but that does not translate to boredom, as there is ALWAYS something to learn about someone...particularly if you both continue to be your own individuals. Part of the problem is that in your relationship you are not doing that...and you are just being together because there is nothing else to do....it may be boredom with "life" in general and not the person. Or it may be, and as I said it may be you are not right for one another, or you are not at an age where you are prepared for the long term relationship that will go through changes and ups and downs and all that and requires commitment through it all.

[iwishiknew]

If I had a gf, I know for sure, I would never be tired..It would be a great feeling to have knowing I have someone to love, care, talk to, go out and have a good time together.

[valenski]

I think its infatuation that your feeling and not love, yes you might have a certain type in mind but after the courtship has run its course there is no spark left and you dont feel anything anymore. I've experienced that before, deep in love today and tomorrow nothing at all. What you do is continue having fun and someone will come along with the right dynamics and take you out of your cycle of infatuation.

Good luck.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

This is the difference between infatuation and love.

 

I completely empathise. I used to get through a couple of people every week, guys and girls, because after a time, they simply bored me.

 

A lot of people in life bore me anyway, and I had a real job finding one to keep my interest in a relationship sense. Worse, they seemed never to be bored with me, at risk of sounding immodest.

 

Now, current boyfriend....It's been 1 year, 2 months, and to give you some idea of how NOT bored I am with him: I saw him for 8 days straight recently, and yesterday...I missed him. I'm seeing him tonight and I have adrenaline rushes!

 

I never, ever thought I would maintain interest for so long. In addition, we've been through a h*lluva lot together and I love him so effin' much. Its mindboggling.

[Batya33]

he's on workers comp right now so he's always doing nothing! once he gets back to work we won't see each other that much at all. But that could take months!!! I just don't know how to say "hey, lets spend less time together" without it sounding like I'm tired of him.

 

I'm not 100% familiar with workers comp but why can't he be doing volunteer work or taking classes while he is not working at this particular job?

[AwdreeHpburn]

cliche? Ok - so be it, but yes....I DO know what you mean. Or did rather.....until (and here come the cliched answer) I met my husband. And I know this sounds ridiculous, but we've been married for 8 years now (dated for almost 2 before getting married) so 10 years with each other and I have not grown tired of him.

 

Of course sometimes I need my time away cos I get crowded, but bored, nah....he's a very interesting and fascinating individual.....

 

But I USED to get bored and irritated with bf's all the time. That was my clue that they were not for me....