falling for the b/f's friend

[in_the_mirror]

so i feel horrible...i love my boyfriend so much and i would never even think of cheating on him, and i haven't, but i have managed to fall for my boyfriend's best friend. neither of them have any idea, and i really don't know what to do. i know that it could never work between my and my b/f friend because i wouldn't let it and it would just tear up their relationship as friends. and i just don't want to hurt my b/f in general but i can't help how i feel. i plan on telling him because i think that it might make our relationship stronger if we can work through it, but i don't know if that is how things will go. and if we do work it out, i don't want his friend to know because i am also good friends with him and i don't want to screw it up.

 

i'm just at a loss right now of what to think or do or how to talk to my b/f about it. help....

[DN]

I think it would be a huge mistake on your part to tell your boyfriend how you feel about his friend. He will not regard you the same and he will always be suspicious of you and his friend. It will probably break the relationship and quite probably cause him to end his friendship.

 

Not a good idea.

[breeze33]

how did you fall in love with you bf's friend when you say you love you bf so much? or do you?

 

you've got to question whether this is just infatuation or there must be something wrong in your relationship with your bf to make you fall for his best friend. There are qualities you are attracted to in his friend.

 

I would not tell him either. I think there is something lacking in your relationship. I would suggest breaking it off but don't give the reason about your feelings for his best friend! Obviously it sounds your feelings for his friend is one-sided and you would not want to break his heart plus break a friendship. That is too much heartbreak for one person to take!

[doyathink]

Some things are better off left unspoken. You will do more harm by telling him this, and probably threaten his friendship with his friend.

[BlueFire]

It is possible to have feelings for more male persons who you have contact with the only thing is you have to wonder abt, is this real love or only a fling feeling on serten qualities the man has? It is not true when ppl say you only can love 1, in no bible or book it's written and this is no question of good or bad. Things happen in life and some are not asked for it just happeneds, unfortunally for you it's with your bf's friend. These two men are no friends because they differ so much, no it's the ideal or grouping and partnership that bound their friendship so it's possible that they have a lot in common and that is what attracts you. You love your bf but his friend is not much different either and can have some plusses on serten points your bf doesn't have and vise versa. I know it's not easy to think on the consequenses if you would tell them, if you decide to do so be absolute sure on what your doing. If it is a fling situation I reccoment not to say anything and get over it for yourself and your hubby, if the feeling is a lot stronger and you think it's true love you have to make an desision girl. We all can give all kind of advicess but the desicion lies with you the whole way and has no pretty face, i know....life can be a but you have to figure out for yourself how deep your feelings are truly running and act wisely on that.

 

Good luck girl and if any questions please ask!

[ratherbesailing]

in the mirror -

 

I wouldn't tell your boyfriend, we guys are insecure enough to begin with. As long as you don't act on your feelings for his friend you aren't doing anything wrong. Crushes come and go. Eventually your feelings for him will pass and you will go back to just being friends.

[ImThatGirl]

Telling him will not make your relationships stronger.

 

If anything, he will never trust you around any other man in the future and eventually cut ties with you.

[summerlynn]

I just joined to ask almost the same question. I love my boyfriend, but i lust after his friend, and i just cant shake it, i would never tell him (my boyfriend)! it would hert him too much. But what i'm scared of IS if i was to be put in the situation to cheat on my B/f if i would, i would like to say i wouldnt. but if i had a few drinks and i was in the situation, i'm scared that i might.

 

so what i would like to know is how you fight lust when your in love? its bound to happen to lots of people.

[Jake Jakely]

Why is everyone in such a hurry to claim they are in love?

 

Here's what's good for you to do: dump him, join the army, and go see the world. Or go to Juliard. Or do a work study program in New Zealand.

 

The point is that there are plenty of other things to get so worked up about. Boys are just details that will fall into place whatever you happen to do. They are accessories. Focus on the outfit.