Saw X today. I now feel empty inside. Blue.

[itsallgrand]

It went well, and I was riding a high of good feelings for a while.

We had a really good talk. Things are out in the open. We updated on our lives and our hopes for the future, our goals.

 

What it comes down to is we did the right thing when we broke up. It's as though we both needed to confirm this.

 

Hard feelings there aren't. I still love him. He still loves me. We spoke much about that. What are we to do? Some of our important values and what we want out of life are different, and there is no changing that.

We used to argue about those things. Me being confrontational, him being one to avoid confrontation and step back and wait for me to calm down and miss him again.

 

Now there is no arguing, there is only openly speaking about these things and support for one another.

 

It's almost perfect. Perfectly cruel! Now I understand when Shakespeare wrote how parting is such sweet sorrow. This is exactly it. It is sweet. It is a terrible loss as well.

 

I have been feeling freed up to resume more normal activities and learning about friendship all again. Learning about improving myself to really be who I want to be. To face old demons and to above all else: carry on, carry on regardless.

 

Yet, tonight, I see meaning in none of it. Not the taste of my favorite meal, which I had tonight with dear ones. Not petting my bundles of fur. Not considering my future, nor possibilities, nor the sunlight, not even the pleasure of a warm bath and a good sleep.

It all seems so hollow and endless. You live, things change, you die. Pleasure, pain, indifference, ebb and flow. This is all there is.

 

Something died in me today and I wish it hadn't. I wasn't ready. I really loved the time I had with him. I really loved being with him and him being with me.

 

Sometimes being an adult sucks. That is all there is to it.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

well, i think you learned today why it is better to stay away from your ex until you are truly healed... you would not feel this depressed if you had truly gotten over him and and really accepted the fact that you need to move on with your life.

 

look at it this way... if you were still with him, you would still be having the same problems, you're just not focusing on them or remembering them clearly today, you are besotted with excitement at his presense, not the reality of your life with him, and are now let down because you decided to focus on the loss, not the fact that you two aren't suited for one another.

 

now you see him and get a little high from it, and focus on the good things you remember, NOT the reasons you broke up. those problems would just crop up again, guaranteed, if you saw him more than a nostalgic 'how are you' meeting...

 

you become hollow if you turn over all your hopes and dreams to another person, and pin your happiness to whether or not that person is in your life. yes, you loved him, and yes, you lost him, but you do not have re-experience that loss by continuing to see him and focusing only on the good memories, and not putting the whole relationship (and reason for breakup) into perspective.

 

so this just means you are NOT ready to see him at all... instead, work on yourself and filling your life with things that will give you joy, rather than returning to nostalgia land and stirring up your sense of loss again. when you are truly healed and have gotten yourself back at the center of your own life, rather than having him there, then you won't be devastated if you see him, you will either just see it as any other friend, or else you will again remember why you did break up with to begin with...

 

being an adult doesn't suck, getting nostalgic and only remembering PART of the picture does... so avoid the temptation to take a trip down memory lane with him, and move on with your life. better to have a warm, living, loving set of friends and loved ones in your life, than waste time mooning over someone who really isn't there for you anymore... yes, you feel sad today, but you know why don't you? part of you still wants him back, or you wouldn't feel this way...

 

don't put yourself through this, just pick up and don't yield to the temptation to see him or to scratch your sad spot as if this one person was the ONLY good thing or person in the world.... he obviously isn't, and it didn't work out, and he didn't stay with you, so don't invest him with so much importance.

 

keep doing the things that usually make you happy, and he will again recede into the distance in terms of being so important, he wrecks your day and throws you off perspective about the other good things in your life.

[crushed2285]

i saw my ex the other day too and we got along just fine. we were laughing, we still had that connection. everything was fine, he was asking about my life, seemed interested, was flirty even. then his new gf called. he said goodbye to me, kissed my hand, and left. i felt good, i played it cool as a cucumber and acted like i didn't even care. now i have been crying for the past two days.

 

sorry no advice i can offer since i'm in the situation myself and i feel so lost. just know you're not alone! hopefully it will get better someday....

[Dako]

Grandy,

 

It does suck to sit accross the table from what you can't have, and walk away without answers. Something does break inside, and well-meaning friends just can't grasp two people parting while love remains.

Time does wonders, but when the loss is huge, it seems to crawl.

 

The common wisdom is all about rebuilding yourself and making a new better life on your own, but you do need a hug now and then.

Keep in touch with friends.

 

You're a fine person who deserves joy.

[supernetter]

Its is never easy unless ur relationships are on a superficial note. Even now I cannot understand how some people can seem to just switch off their feelings. It gets even worse when u see your ex with someone else.

 

I'm sorry that this is not any profesisonal advise, its just my way of saying that I share your feelings too.