To do therapy, or not to do therapy...

[turqoise]

Hello,

I`ve been treating my depression with prescribed supplements for the last 2 months, and my depression has improved enough that I think I`m almost ready to do therapy. I know that this is important at this stage when I`m better to decrease the likelihood of recurrence, but that it`s crucial that I find a great therapist.

 

I was wondering if anyone can give me an idea of how you can tell early on if a therapist is or isn`t the right person for you, what to watch out for etc. Plus if there`s anyone here from Auckland, New Zealand, is there anyone you`d recommend?? Thanks.

 

If there`s anyone that`s tried alternative therapy methods, I would also be interested to hear your experiences too. Thanks.

[TheRedQueen]

It's really a trial and error process.

 

In my experience, women therapists have always been more effective than men. The therapist I see now is awesome, I've been seeing her for a year and a half, and I knew that we'd be a good fit from our very first session.

[annie24]

I actually know several psychiatrists in auckland (I have family there, who happen to be psychiatrists!) but I would feel awkward posting names....

 

Anyways, when you get referred, ask your doctor which one they recommend for you. Would you be more comfortable with a male or female therapist? An older one (kind of grandmotherly or motherly) or would you want one closer to your age and straight out of school?

 

Ask who has specialization in treating depression. Pyschiatrists and therapists have different specialities, so find one that has the right one for you.

 

And then just go, and if you don't feel comfortable after a few sessions, find a new one.

 

Just so you know, going to therapy may make you feel worse at first, not better. Because they are bringing up all your old demons, it can be a very painful experience. It may not be until you have worked through those issues that you feel better.

[Juliana]

Signs you're seeing a lunatic for therapy:

 

1. They try to convince you to convert to their religion (ex. hinduism, buddhism), or if atheist, that there is no god. Religious beliefs are not part of therapy, only how beliefs impact behaviour; the same goes for culture. Criticism of your culture or country of origin are inappropriate except insofar as it impacts your behaviour.

 

2. They make inappropriate comments ("you're attractive today," "that's a beautiful skirt," etc.), or they encourage you to wear makeup, change your hairstyle, dress differently. Physical appearance is out of bounds for therapists. Sometimes compliments are a clumsy attempt to put you at ease; sometimes they're something worse. They are always inappropriate.

 

3. They get angry or evasive if you question their comments.

 

4. They seem uncomfortable with you, they take phone calls in your presense, interrupt the session to do other things, like speak to secretaries or do personal grooming (nails, hair, etc).

 

5. When or if therapy stalls, they blame you for not trying. If you are silent, they accuse you of being angry or manipulative; similarly if you are suicidal or self-injuring, they accuse you of trying to manipulate them. Problems in therapy will always be your fault.

 

6. They discuss other patients with you, or offer to treat other family members or friends of yours; they are unaware of boundaries.

 

7. They argue with you about factual or experiential points of which they necessarily have less knowledge than you, and when proved wrong they deny it or become angry.

 

8. They demand that you accept their interpretation of your experience, rather than simply discussing your interpretation.

 

The biggest warning signs then are distractability, inappropriateness, hostility and demanding behaviours.

 

Bear in mind many therapists went into the field because they themselves have a mental illness. Typically it's narcissism. If you find that you do not have a good fit with your therapist, and/or the therapist displays any of the above behaviours, leave the therapy. Of the above, my first therapist displayed all but one; he did not offer to treat my family members.

[kittysaysmeow]

"Bear in mind many therapists went into the field because they themselves have a mental illness. Typically it's narcissism."

 

That is so completely false I don't even know where to start with that one.

 

Like everything there are good and not so good therapists out there. I suggest asking around and seeing which one specializes in depression. I would also suggest seeing a psychologist and not necessarily a psychiatrist. There reason for this is that psychiatry adopts a medical approach but may take in to account biological, psychological, and social/cultural perspectives. That said, you should go to someone that you feel comfortable with. If it isn’t working out then find someone else. There is definitely no shortage of psychologists/therapists/psychiatrists out there! LOL.

[turqoise]

Anyways, when you get referred, ask your doctor which one they recommend for you. Would you be more comfortable with a male or female therapist? An older one (kind of grandmotherly or motherly) or would you want one closer to your age and straight out of school?

 

Ask who has specialization in treating depression. Pyschiatrists and therapists have different specialities, so find one that has the right one for you

Annie, thanks, they`re both worth thinking about. I think I feel comfortable with female therapists who are older than me but really sharp and intelligent, and are strong guiders. Is it OK to ask in more specific detail about their achievements working with patients? Like how many they managed to cure etc?

 

Juliana - thank you for those points - they`re really helpful specific points to look for. One helped already - I was talking on the phone to a therapist that was recommended to me by my doctor, when she took a call on hte other line and put me on hold for 10 minutes. She seemed pretty nice in every other way, but that put me off, though I was wondering whether to get in touch with her again.

 

psychiatry adopts a medical approach but may take in to account biological, psychological, and social/cultural perspectives

Kitty, do you mean psychology?

 

Thanks everyone. Hey, also wonder if anyone knows of any good current sites on specific informatino on depression? I have searched lots of times but find that most sites just display the same old basic info (the most helpful so far has been wikipedia), or are papers or treatment sites for doctors. I am looking fora site that explains the neuroprocesses during depression, the triggers, causes etc, in detail but if possible in layman`s terms.

[kittysaysmeow]

What I mean is that psychiatry may or may not take on a social/cultural point of view. The main thing is to remember is that it's based on biology whereas psychology is mainly based in experiences that have happened that make you the person you are today.

 

Don't be scared to look for help and for sure don't be scared to find a new therapist if he or she isn't working out for you.

[turqoise]

cheers

[Considerate Empath]

I hate therapists myself (although I'm not advising you not to go see one). I have a few problems with them such as:

 

1. Them sitting in the chair smiling broadly saying something like: "Can't you tryyy to explain how you felt back then!" close to chuckling. It feels like they're mocking me.

 

2. I never say what I really mean or feel to them - I'm one hell of a guy to picture different scenarios or rather be thinking three steps ahead of myself of what the answer to their question MIGHT have been if I was just anyone - and when I say that and then saying "sorry I didn't mean that, let me start over" (I'm REALLY not "in touch" with my own feelings), and they stick to that statement during the entire time I'm there when I didn't even mean it, so it ends up with me leaving them.

 

3. I always (and still do) consider myself knowing much better how to 'cure myself' then they do, which makes me one of those kinds that won't listen to the therapists ever.

 

I don't listen or take in what anyone says to me in whatever offensive way they might say it though. That's an advantage to have that ability at times, but often a disadvantage as well... Not good bottling up your feelings, yada yada yada...

 

Sorry just had to get that off my chest. Also, go for an experienced old therapist. I hear they're better, though I don't see any difference. I'm messed up though, so don't listen to me

 

 

Feel free to delete this reply if you feel like it doesn't suit this thread - I'm satisfied after just writing this.

 

//C.E.

[turqoise]

Thanks for your post - I`m happy for the occasional rant, esp when they`re also amusing

 

In the therapy world, how many years at it makes you experienced...?