On a break- permanent or temporary

[YellowTail]

Hey everyone,

This is my first time posting on this site, so please be patient with me if I do not explain things correctly. This is also quite long, so excuse me of my lack of brevity ahead of time. I am young, 21, and my girlfriend is 19, very soon to be 20. I met her within the first month of her enrollment at our college. Things started out fantastic, and then I got mono (too much sharing drinks at my fraternity, never in my time with her had I dreamed of cheating on her), but I cared about her so much and vice versa that we got through that only after we had been dating for a couple of weeks. We had our tiffs like any couple does, but by spring it was obvious I was in love with her. We both lost our virginity to each other just before Christmas, and it was clear she had become a huge part of my life and I would be lost without her. She took a little bit of time (which I understood) to tell her she loved me after I told her I loved her, and after a tough but sucessful summer overseas I came back to school psyched to spend the next school year with her.

 

The first couple of months everything was growing in our relationship well. I am realistic and understood that our period of infatuation with one another was over and that we needed to work on our relationship, trust one another, and share everything we possibly could. I have been having problems with trying to decide what I want to do the rest of my life and where, but she had been very helpful despite my occasional outbursts of depression and sense of hopelessness and self-pity. She had similar problems herself, yet was more passive about them.

 

Everything was going quite well until November. Although during that month, things were not going well for her, I was doing everything I could to make things better for her despite my busy schedule and it was obvious she was apprecitive and welcoming of my care. Our sex life dropped off a bit, but I felt that it was because of our busy lives and exterior things, not issues between us. I missed her a lot when she went home for Thanksgiving (she's a Californian, I live only an hour away from school on the east coast), but she said she really enjoyed being at home so I was happy for her.

 

A week ago today and I let myself get in one of my moods of self-pity, depression, and anger and go ballistic to my friends and her. She is obviously very angry and when I snap out of things I do everything I can to apologize. We don't spend the night together and she says she needs some time to think things over, which I assume is a day or two, agree, and goto sleep at my place worried, but not consumed. I speak to one of her best friends the next day and her friend informs me that my girlfriend is now giving herself a week to make sure she does not want to change her mind about breaking up with me. I'm so confused because we've had such a great time together, we've loved and cared for one another so much, she's the first girl I've ever truly loved and vice-versa. I can't take it anymore and I show up at her place on Tuesday with roses and we talk for an hour about how we're deeply in love with each other and that feeling will never go away. She mentions how everything has been going great in her life until last month and for whatever reason things just went sour then. She mentions that although she sees me as someone to marry later in life (and I see the same out of her,) she needs a break of six weeks in order to take time off for herself and figure her life out.

 

People have been taking advantage of her, and she has had issues with school, family, and life in general, but I felt like I was being a rock of stability for her during this time, despite my outbursts. I understand her needing space, but she's going to be home for break anyways and I don't get why she only wants to speak to me once a week during this time. We won't be seeing anyone else, but I'm scared this could potentially be the beginning of the end. I love her dearly and truly see a future with her, and I believe she feels the same way. Is it because of our age, that she's not had the chance to be free at a time in her life where you learn a lot about yourself, and that once she figures out that how she can do things for herself and for me that we can get back to being the couple we know we can be, or is it because she really doesn't care for me anymore and is taking the easy way out. I'm so very confused. My friends all tell me to hang on to her, especially the ones who know her well, but my family tells me to be less patient and expect the worst (although they've met her and truly do like her). A little outside help from people both close to my age and older would be much appreciated. I'm very hurt by this break, especially since we left each other cuddling, crying, and kissing on Tuesday but then on Thursday I saw her out it was ackward, as in we kept on looking over at each other, while talking to a guy who she had never met before she and the guy kept on looking back at me, etc. Any help would just be fantastic. I'm sorry this is so long, and thank you ahead of time.

[silentalways]

if someone told me, what she said to u -

 

"She mentions that although she sees me as someone to marry later in life (and I see the same out of her,) she needs a break of six weeks in order to take time off for herself and figure her life out."

 

i would take that as she is basically telling you - you are not the one for her. to me saying that 'later' you will be is the weirdest thing anyone could say, its like, 'hey, you wait for me - say for 10 years and if i haven't found anything better at that time - i will settle for you.

 

that's actually insulting. if she was the one for you, she would include you in her discoveries - she is excluding you - so, please put on yer walking shoes and start the process of moving on.