How long do you wait before you ask?

[aymee_lee]

Just a quick one-

 

Relationships- when are they more than exclusive dating?

 

I've asked friends this and their answers were varied. One friend even said 'we never discussed it, we just knew'. Which is all well and good, but what about LDR's? When your contact is limited, I think it makes things harder- you don't see each other often enough for things to progress as fast as they would in a 'normal' relationship, but it's a fair effort to go through if there's nothing at the end.

 

If you're in a LDR (or in any relationship for that matter) how long do you/or did you wait before asking the inevitable 'Where is this going' question?

[DizzyDoris]

Okay, from experience if a guy really likes me and wants a relationship HE will let me know and HE does the asking.

 

Would be really interesting to hear some guy opinions on this topic.

[Batya33]

Just a quick one-

 

Relationships- when are they more than exclusive dating?

 

I've asked friends this and their answers were varied. One friend even said 'we never discussed it, we just knew'. Which is all well and good, but what about LDR's? When your contact is limited, I think it makes things harder- you don't see each other often enough for things to progress as fast as they would in a 'normal' relationship, but it's a fair effort to go through if there's nothing at the end.

 

If you're in a LDR (or in any relationship for that matter) how long do you/or did you wait before asking the inevitable 'Where is this going' question?

 

I generally don't start dating someone unless in general we have the same goals (marriage and family) - I find that out within the first few dates (again, in general) - in all my serious relationships except one we had the specific talk within the first month or so. In the one exception it was 6 months in (we had not had sex- I wouldn't without exclusivity and potential for marriage) and it took me going on vacation to club med without him (where I was not with anyone else and did not tell him I was with anyone else) to make him come to his senses. (we were both 23 at the time)

[yeawutever]

In my parents' case, no one did the asking, they just click and that was it, end of story. In my case, he ask me out when it was almost the third week.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

LOL, I love you foreigners. Cultural differences are so intriguing!

 

Where I come from, (England), once you've spent one on one time together a couple of times and (usually) kissed/admitted attraction, you're together.

 

To put it another way, if i went for coffee with someone, and the next week they said they were into me/we made out, I'd assume unless EXPLICITLY told otherwise, that we were seeing each other and no one else. If I learnt they had been behaving in the same way with others at the same time, that is considered Jerkish and Stupid, not jsut "not being exclusive".

 

People over here would largely agree with me on that one.

[JulieW]

I would NEVER ask that question! I don't play games so I would hope that any contact I'd been having would have answered that on it's own.

 

A man will let you know in their own way if they're in it for the long haul or not. Unfortunately, it takes some broken hearts along the way to learn.

[run_little_rabbit]

Hi there, new here!

 

I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and we never had "that conversation." We just clicked right away. He goes to school 2 hours away so we usually go 2-3 weeks between visits, and at first I was afraid to assume anything regardless of how I felt about him (because we know what can happen when you assume...) but one night he introduced me to someone as his girlfriend and it just went from there. It probably helps that we had known each other a long time before we started dating, but as long as you trust each other and both put forth an effort, you can make an LDR work.

[misspiggyfire]

LOL, I love you foreigners. Cultural differences are so intriguing!

 

Where I come from, (England), once you've spent one on one time together a couple of times and (usually) kissed/admitted attraction, you're together.

 

To put it another way, if i went for coffee with someone, and the next week they said they were into me/we made out, I'd assume unless EXPLICITLY told otherwise, that we were seeing each other and no one else. If I learnt they had been behaving in the same way with others at the same time, that is considered Jerkish and Stupid, not jsut "not being exclusive".

 

People over here would largely agree with me on that one.

 

That post made me chuckle sorry I am from England aswell and it has nothing to do where you are from. Unless a guy asks me out or ask I guy out to be my partner I would not assume anything.