What to do...

[AhypnoticSuggestion]

Everday, on my way to school, I pass by a store. Working at this store, on most mornings, is a girl who I went to high school with. She's a quiet girl, very shy, like myself, and very cute. I've been interested in her for a few monthes and I really want to get her number. And everyday, as I'm passing by and see her outside, I tell myself: "Okay, ease on the break, put on your blinker, turn into the parking lot and park, you damn fool!" But my body doesn't want to follow orders and continues driving right on past the store. "Maybe on the way back" I tell myself. But of course, it's the same old story as I drive on home past the store.

 

Now, twice before, while in rare form, I worked up enough courage to make that fatal turn and try my luck at getting this number. She wasn't working either of the times I went, which wasn't a huge surprise for me; when I need something, I can't get it; when I have something, I can't use it. Life is a raging * * * * *. Anyway, what I need now is some advice. For starters, when I do enter the store to talk to her, should I directly approach her, making it clear that I came to the store for no other reason? It's the more honest approach, but it definetly seems creepy. The alternative being I go there and act like I'm just browsing the goods, and happen to see her and spark up the conversation that way. It'd all be an act, and a pretty unbeleivble one at that; I have no business in this store, and I have no money to even buy anything. I might become nervous if I tried it this way. What do you think?

 

My next question requires some very breif history: I went to high school with this girl, and we were in some of the same classes. However, we never met formally, in fact we rarely spoke. So my question is, do I treat her like a stranger, or do I assume she remembers me? I was thinking about saying something along the lines of "Hi..Whosie? Hey what's up - I'm Whatshisname, do you remember me from high school, I think we had a few classes together." I figure at this point she'd say yes, if for no other reason than to be polite. I would follow up with a "So how have you been? You going to college..Blah, Blah, Blah" eventually dropping an invitation to "Hang out sometime" with the request of her number.

 

Good plan? Bad plan? Overthinking it too much? All advice/comments are welcomed and appreciated, thanks.

[dil]

both methods work okay, but mentioning you went to the same school might be better, makes her feel more secure especially if she's shy..

[laboheme]

I think mentioning high school is the way to go, since it will give you common ground to start a conversation. And I wouldn't even worry about browsing in the store when you know you're not going to buy anything...all you have to say is that you saw her outside (which you did, right?), recognized her, started feeling a little nostalgic about high school, and decided to chat with an old classmate. That's natural enough, I think.

[AhypnoticSuggestion]

Hmm this should have been in the Dating & Shy People section - my mistake.

 

Well I went there, but I failed. A friend of mine used to work there, but he got fired weeks ago. However, I played the fool and asked if he was working today. She was very friendly, and politely said "No, I don't think he works here anymore." I started to panic a little, but overcame and dived right in with a "You went to [nameofmyhighschool], right?" And continued on with the conversation. But I...well I didn't know how to transition out of small talk and into asking her out. At least not smoothly. I bailed. I didn't even say bye, or see you later, I said: "Oh well thanks anyway." Hmm..

 

Well I do think she would have said yes, and the good news is, starting next semester (or maybe year I forget), she'll be going to my college.

 

I want to go back, but I can't think of what I'd say.."Oh hi, yeah I just want to know if you'd like to catch a movie sometime?" I can't say stuff like that, the words would come out all jumbled. What to do? Any suggestions?

[southerngirl]

Give her your phone number or ask for hers. She was friendly when you did talk to her. It will not hurt you to ask her to hang out sometime, and if you dont do it.... thats one way to be sure that it will never happen.

 

You will only know how far you can go by pushing your limits.

[Juliana]

"I want to go back, but I can't think of what I'd say.."Oh hi, yeah I just want to know if you'd like to catch a movie sometime?" I can't say stuff like that, the words would come out all jumbled."

 

Oh, God, I love guys like you! You're so cute. Yeah, go back, continue trying to speak coherent English. Eventually maybe she'll ask you out.

 

Good luck!

[AhypnoticSuggestion]

So I went back, this time I had something to buy. But it wasn't the same this time: she didn't look happy to see me, she didn't care I was there, there were no smiles; I was just a customer this time. I tried to make small talk but she didn't feel like talking really.

 

I bought a wreath, undecorated, and as she rung me up she flashed a smile and said "So are you going to decorate this yourself?" I was about to say something back..when I realized that, wow, no. She's just being polite. She doesn't give a crap that I'm here, I'm nothing to her - just another a-hole customer.

 

I still wanted to say something but I couldn't force myself to speak no matter how hard I tried. So now it's over, I was happy for a day or two, and now it's back to my ussual attitude. Now it's back to loathing my daily routine and complaing to myself, pleading that things get better, hoping that someone will walk into my life, knowing that no one can make things better except me, and refusing to do anything about it.

 

Life is wonderful.

[Juliana]

Don't feel bad. My brother got in the same sort of situation with one of the girls at the Frostee Kreme this summer -- of course I was the wingman. Thank the good L*rd J*sus I don't have to eat ice cream anymore; I must've gained 10 pounds.

 

I'll tell you what I told him: Invest in your own life, see who's attracted to you, and make your move. Girls who flash up on the periphery of your life as you drive by are far more chancy than women who actually know you and are involved in the same sorts of things you are. It can happen, but it doesn't happen as often as going out with a girl you meet while you're at work/working out/playing a sport. It helps if there's an activity or event you're both at that bridges the initial gap of what to talk about.

[AhypnoticSuggestion]

I got the number! It was really easy, just took me a few weeks to work up the courage. I actually drove past, but turned around. Once I got the number I was pumped, it was like I just blew a huge line of really good coke. So great.

 

Then I got home and decided to put it in my phone.

 

I lost the number. It's nowhere in my car, in none of my pockets. It must have fallen out on the way to my car after I got it, and it's raining.

 

"....when I need something, I can't get it; when I have something, I can't use it."

 

Life is * * * *ing wonderful.

[Juliana]

Oh h*ll. You are my brother, aren't you? 'fess up.

 

sigh. Okay. Go back, get the number again. Life does things like this to people. If you can be funny and charming, now's the time. Good luck.