ONCE a cheater Always a cheater??How to keep a man faithful?

[SweetypieEnlightenedOne]

How do you keep a man from straying. (I mean those men who can be faithful). From the guys...what are some tips to keep a man happy?

[AgainstAllOdds]

I believe second chances work, But sometimes. I know the second time it would suck trying to trust em, ya know. But it works depending on the person and there common sense of mind. it hard to trust the second time. Some of us know from experience.

 

 

 

[xMowthyX]

Ever ask a question that you already knew the answer to?

 

Ok.. seriously... If they cheated once... and you let it go.. what do they have to lose the second time? I mean... you got over it the first time... when the shock is at its worse... So why not round 2.. or 3 or 4?

 

Better yet.. how many SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASE's will you allow your other partner to possibly expose you to... before you decide enough is enough.. and that there are better options and other faithful people out there.... ???

 

HMM?

 

P.S. Been to the clinic lately?

[scorch_yogo]

there are persons who "FALL" because of circumstances that cannot be avoided. there are those who really do it intentionally. a true change comes in when there is true realization of mistakes. that makes this statement is not true to all. there are special considerations that has to be taken when situation comes..

[codyluver05]

sweetypie,

 

I believe in second chances. You have to keep in mind though that if you give the person that second chance then you have to be willing to eventually trust them again. That can take time and can be very hard. I have been in this situtation and i gave a second chance, I have no regrets. It was the best thing I could have done..

 

If he or she really loves or cares for you then they won't make that same mistake twice.

 

Being cheated on has got to be the worst thing to have to got though. You will feel betrayed. But again if you give that second chance you have to trust again. You will sooner or later though you'll be weary. But hey you have a right though!

 

hope I helped

[xMowthyX]

That is crap. I don't believe for one second that there are EVER circumstances that were so incredibly DIRE.. that you had to SCREW SOMEONE ELSE. I mean GET REAL ... lmao...

 

Lemme guess... it was one of those situations where... some one was going to just die.. if you didnt cheat on your G/F or B/F with them?

 

Oh boy... this gets DEEP. out hip waders:

[SweetypieEnlightenedOne]

I love some of the more "MATURE" Responses from people who know what its like to want to know the answer to this question. Thankyou very much. I also wanted to know, from Men, if they feel that once a women cheats, and she is taken back, that she may never do it agian.

I am living proof that once a cheater not always a cheater. I cheated on a man once and when he took me back,and i saw how much he was hurting, i refused to ever put him through this kind of pain. The next time we broke up, i can assure you that it had nothing to do with a third party. Also I know men, who felt like they were pushed into the arms of another women. I also know this too, to be true. If you neglect what you have, or mistreat it, it's only human nature for someone to want to be loved the right way, and there are always others just waiting to take your place.

 

Any other opinions?

[xMowthyX]

NICE TRY.. lmao someone came in and doctored this post.. then locked me out of it... however...I resolved that issue. Now tell me how I am the childish one?

 

(that edit was by me...segagirl)

[xoxoxo21]

"Once a cheater always a cheater." In my opinion NOT TRUE!

 

If you give someone who has done wrong then that is basically putting trust in them that they won't do it again Even though you'll have your suspiscions you know what I mean?

 

If they care and love you enough they will not do it again. Most espacially if they know they have done wrong and made a mistake.

 

People tend to think that everything in relationships is bad and nothing is okay and nothing can be fogiven. Don't worry they are just immature they haven't seen the reality of things.

[joedeertay]

Sweetypie,

 

Don't you dare be ashamed of something that happened to you when you were not at fault. But I am just a guy so maybe you feel like you have the right to be like this with others. I think you should apologize to sweets, seems likeyou guys maybe got off on the wrong foot!

 

I wouldnt be ashamed, I have HPV too, only it was my fault...i was a hoe!

[Ash]

I know of people who cheated once, then returned to at least 15 years of a monogamous marriage. So, I'd say it's completely possible people cheat only once ever.

 

People have done other things wrong once in their lives too. They make a mistake, get something wrong, and do learn from their mistakes. It all depends on the person though.

[Punished Angel]

here its is...plain and simple

 

You cannot change a man. No one really changes these days

[SarCareBear]

punished angel.. i hope you have more faith then that in the world!! I mean change is a pretty basic part of human nature, and its unhealthy not to give another chance.. we all make mistakes, its how we redeem ourselves that determines if this is the right person for you, sweetypye

[Punished Angel]

i know i know....I do believe in second chances of course ..but i dont believe in a 3rd one.I just think that you cant fully change any human being...But its true i think, some people never change. It all depends on the inividuel.

*hugs*

[Stacks]

I have been in a relationship for 6months with a guy who does appear to have a really good heart but he went away for work and I found some suspicious sms's in his phone to and from his ex. He got up me for overreacting and because I had no proof he had cheated I couldn't carry on with it so I chose to give him the benefit of the doubt and then he had to go away for work again and told me it was in a different place so I agreed to let him go. When he returned I again found very suss messages in his phone and confronted him and he admitted to everything.

 

He know promises he won't do it again and called his ex and ended it although not as firmly as I would have liked. She has sent me messages saying she is still in love with him blah, blah, blah. I told him I would give him another chance but I'm 28 and I don't have any children and I'm looking to find my life partner. Should I waste my time with this guy? Is it likely he will stay true to his word? He cheated on his ex quite a bit, I thought it was just an age thing...

 

Help me to make the right decision... He does have a lot of good qualities but he is a very good liar, which scares me.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I don't believe in the one size fits all notion of "once a cheater always a cheater". People do make mistakes, regret it and are truly remorseful. However, your boyfriend clearly has a history of cheating...he cheated on his ex quite a bit and given what you have written, he has probably cheated on you as well. Don't waste your time with this guy. He is a habitual cheater and chances are he would be the type who would cheat on you while you are pregnant. Find someone who will cherish you and not cheat and lie.

[Darkeyes]

tips on keeping a man happy huh? hmmm... well it can't be done... because true happiness comes from within.. and no one can give that to you. As for 'once a cheater always a cheater'... well... I concur with Crazyaboutdogs on that one. People make mistakes and they learn NOT to repeat them... real cheaters don't learn, don't wish too and repeat. It's amazing how many cheaters think they can get away with it. I'm a reformed cheater myself. I did it, paid for it and now I'm settling up with the karmic jury.

[kellbell]

This thread is 4 years old. LOL

[capri1000]

me and my ex were together for 3 years. he was the most considerate guy you could ever meet and would of done anything for me. he loved me the way anyone would want to be loved. but i fell for another guy that i worked with. although i loved my ex i was completely besotted with this guy.

 

one night on this guys birthday he didn't have his house keys with him so couldn't get home, so he stopped at mine and a few drinks later i slept with him.

 

i've never felt guilt like it, it was horrible and thought within a week my boyfriend needed to know. so i told him. we tried for another 6 months but he couldn't trust me after that and he left.

 

it took me 2 years to get over him and believe me everything about me changed.

 

1 year ago i met stuart, my current boyfriend. after a few months of being with him i started to sense something wasn't quite right and i started to question things, whee he was going? who he was with? looking in his mobile. i never found anything. then last valentines day we went for a meal. in the restaurant was his ex who confronted me infront of everybody and told me that they had slept together twice and showed me the messages as proof.

 

i felt humiliated and the pain of hurting my ex was nothing compared to how i felt when i found this out.

 

we've been together a year now and 3 weeks ago i found out he stayed there again and 1 week ago again. his ex is with someone now and apparently he stayed on the sofa. but he was originally in a club and he said he was going for a walk as had a headache, but a big black guy was following him so he went to his ex's????????

 

now tonight on the phone he's finished with me because his sick of e not believing him, but i don't know if he's just stupid or unlucky.

 

i feel like i got exactly what i deserved. i feel like he is walking all over me, he speaks to me like * * * * when his annoyed (usually bt the tiniest thing) and after an arguament he's always going out clubbing or god knows wheer.

 

i guess karma caught up with me.

 

i love him so much guys but don't think he'll ever change. should i walk away????

[mrmaximum]

me and my ex were together for 3 years....

...i love him so much guys but don't think he'll ever change. should i walk away????

 

Walk don't run, this dude will contnue to mistreat you if you let him. They're a better people out there, stop wasting your time with this one!!

[JadedStar]

Well, maybe that worked for you, as in you cheated but after seeing his hurt couldn't bear to do it again. but for a person who is a cheater because they just lack a conscience i can assure you that refraining from straying to keep from hurting their partner is temporary. They start of with good intnetions but they cannot sustain this if they really are serial cheaters. Because there are basically two kinds of cheaters - the serial cheater and the person who got weak and caught up in the moment because they were going thru a vulnerable time but not really cheaters in reality. You must have been the latter.

 

Most people who cheat are too selfish to let their partners hurt keep them in line for too long. Sometimes they even think they can refrain but old habits diehard.

[KAT MOMMY]

I totally agree with the post which said there is someone always waiting to tkae your place, in all areas of life. No matter how hard you think you are the best fit trust me there is always someone who can do it better, and willing to prove that to someone else's man/woman. That is reality. I think that a man strays if he is not happy and or satisfied.....