It's Over...now what?

[SweetaThanCandy]

Well I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago. But for some reason he just doesnt get it. He keeps telling me that he's changed and that it wont happen again, he keeps buying me stuff, trying to do everything possible for me so that I can take him back. It's just so hard for me to move on in my heart, verbally I tell him that I dont think I can do this again and he just cries everytime telling me that he wants another chance to make things right and that he loves me so much. How do I just stay away and move on? A pt of me is thinking well what if he says is true and I miss out on a good thing? I dont want to be hurt again but I still care a lot about him. Can a person change?

 

On another note, there is this guy who I have always liked but when he finally decided to talk to me I was with my ex. Well I want to talk to him again but I dont know how. I dont want a relationship right now but I want to open that bridge back up as friends and maybe after a while it could lead to something else. What do I do? How do I let him know that I kinda like him since I havnt talked to him in a few months? So confused. I hardly ever see him on campus now that we dont work together anymore. But I do have his number...HELP!

[hummus]

I don't believe people can change not long term anyway.

If you go back to him you will be right back where you are now in a little bit.

As far as being hurt again....you will be hurt again as long as you are in the game of love/life, getting hurt is always an option. It goes away. Nothing hurts forever.

 

On the other note...I have done this. I called the guy up out of the blue and said, hey I was dating someone and was being respectful of my relationship and because I like you I felt weird talking to you while I was dating this other guy. I hope you understand. I have also text messaged something to the same effect. If he is cool it won't be a big deal.

 

good luck!

[ForAnother]

That'd be flattering if a girl said "i felt uncomfortable before, but hey lets start a friendship now".

 

I'd have a huge on my face.

 

-ForAnother

(1,000th post!)

[bitbit]

well in your ex's defense, my boyfriend told me he'd change the behaviors that hurt me in our relationship and he completely has. we've been together for over a year now (unoffically, 11 months officially) and he's maintained those changes.

[SweetaThanCandy]

I guess I mean change...as in abuse...he was abusive towards me

[jessicake]

wow... remember to always put yourself first!!

 

There are occasions when abusive people change.. but in acouple of weeks... i'm not sure about that...

 

if you really would like to give it another chance, make sure he is seeking the right help and not just 'changing' himself! if he can't change... do you thnk you can handle all the hurt again?

 

no one deserves or should be abused. try be strong for your future's sake.

[Orlander]

It seems your ex is only trying to win and pity his way back into being with you. Real change does not announce itself with the buying of gifts, crying and the promises of those changes. If any kind of physical abuse took place I say leave for good. There are many men out there who will not hit you.

 

I'm sorry you are going through this pain. I say give the other guy a call, make it clear you just want a friend right now and have some good times.

 

 

Orlander

[Ham]

well in your ex's defense, my boyfriend told me he'd change the behaviors that hurt me in our relationship and he completely has. we've been together for over a year now (unoffically, 11 months officially) and he's maintained those changes.

 

bitbit, what changes has your boyfriend made if I may ask? I've been following your posts and you seem very clued up on things. Thanks.