Telling Ex Your Dating Someone New

[TylrLvck]

I recently told my ex I met someone I really like and am probably going to date. Not in a mean way....but just so he knows I'm moving on.

 

Anyway..his reply was "I really wish you all the best. He's a lucky guy!"

 

I am basically the one who broke it off because it was going down that road anyway. If he thinks this guy is SO lucky why didn;t he try harder to keep me?? Do people REALLY mean it when they say that, or is it something you say to be "nice"?? Even if you don;t mean it? I almost wish he didn;t say anything at all. Ugh

[Dako]

He dated you and it didn't work out. He must think fondly of you and wishes you well. What else could he say?

 

You brought it up, and now you're parsing his meaning.

Let go of the past.

[TylrLvck]

Your right Dako. I guess it kinda stings that he didn't work harder to keep me...so his words seem kinda...phony I guess.

[Lion-Guy]

You can expect anything from an ex and it sounds like you are expecting a specific reaction from him. Do you really need to let him know that you are moving on? You are exs, of course you are going to move on at some point.

 

He is probably just trying to be the better person with his comment and I applaud him for his maturity.

[DN]

I read your previous posts about this guy. Are you sure you didn't tell him in the hope that he would want to come back to you?

[chai714]

It would seem your declaration would mean you're looking for a reaction from him. You didn't get the expected reaction and now you have began to wonder why he reacted the way he did.

 

The behavior you exhibited typically is intended to invoke a desired response. I recommend quitting telling your ex any moves you're going to make - just make them silently.

[jackknive]

Why do you feel the need to even tell him, unless your holding onto at least a bit of feeling. Do yourself a favor and don't worry about it. There is nothing to be gained by worrying about his responce.

[terk2021]

If you broke it off, the last thing he probably wanted to hear from you was that you are dating someone else.

[Listen2Morrissey]

I don't understand, you broke it off but you actually wanted him to work harder to keep you? If he needed to do something to improve the relationship you should have let him know while you were together instead of hoping that he would stage some dramatic plan to win you back.

[friscodj]

I don't understand, you broke it off but you actually wanted him to work harder to keep you? If he needed to do something to improve the relationship you should have let him know while you were together instead of hoping that he would stage some dramatic plan to win you back.

 

Excellent point...

 

It sure sounds like you are very much still stuck in the situation with this guy, albeit in a different sense now of staying "friends" (notice quotes) but still embarking on emotional covert recon missions.

 

On the surface, in this particular situation, you need to figure out what you want and take more direct action to that end. Do you want to be with him? Do you want answers? Talk to him. If not, I think some true distance is needed away from so you can truly get past the situation and/or your feelings for him.

 

On a deeper level, I would seriously reconsider revising your approach to situations like this and relationships in the future. I can definitely see hints of a misguided perspective on relationships and communication in your post that can certainly get in the way of healthy and fruitful relationships in the future.