Ex girlfriend

[southerngirl]

I dont think you are the only person hurting. You said she is crying and she told you about this. She may have turned to you because you are someone she trusts and lets say she really was raped, she is probally hurting alot right now.

[Royal]

I don't think she was raped. She checked her wallet and she is missing condoms. I just want to throw up. I haven't eaten anything all day and I still want to vomit. She told me she doesn't know why should would do this. I want to date her but I dont want to be the guy who gets walked all over and dates a . Does anyone out there know of a successful relationship after something like this? It seems that the relationship can only be fille dwith resentment after this.

[blender]

yes, there can be a successful relationship after a "life lesson' like this.. it takes love, maturity, forgiveness, understanding, and letting it go, not discussing it again, and growing together...

 

Unfortunately right now, You seem to think this is all about you, yet it has NOTHING to do with you..yes it's having an 'effect" on you, (I think we all understand that) but how much of an 'effect" it has is on you is up to how much "power' you are choosing to give an unfortunate one night mistake that a young girl made...

 

If you are not going to forgive it, and understand she is indeed remorseful, and if you are not aware enough to not take it personally..(that's okay if that is what you feel).. but if that is the case of how you are feeling, then, enough is enough, now have the love and respect to let this relationship go, leave her alone and let her grow through all this and be free to meet a man who will be secure enough to love her, understand her, forgive her, and be "okay" enough within himself to see past this incident...

 

You both deserve understanding, but it starts with understanding YOURSELF first.. and you might need some time to "understand" that what happened had nothing to do with you, and she simply had a bad night, she got drunk, it was a mistake, she so sad about it, and now she needs to forgive herself, and the fact that you feel she wasn't the one hurt here, and only YOU were.. is not a very loving approach.. it's only your ego talking...

 

love can make a choice to forgive, understand, and give it another chance.. but if you find you can not get past it, then do the loving thing, and tell her: "you know she is regretful, and you understand she is a lovely girl who simply made a mistake, and you know that she would not have done this intentionally and would not do it again, and it's okay, it happened, and it's okay for her to cry about it, that shows how much she has learned from this...but for right now you might need some time on your own to "get over it".. before you can work on the relationship again.."

 

I feel so badly for you both.. but we've all made stupid choices at times in our lives, so many of us have a had a few too many drinks and did or said something we are not proud of..

 

Thank god we can forgive ourselves, love ourselves enough to learn, and not repeat the same mistake, and it also beautiful if there is someone in our lives who is understanding, loving, and encouraging us to "let go of the mistake, learn from it" and not worry about it anymore, grow past it together..

 

it was just a 'mistake".. and it wasn't done intentionally.. perhaps she just needed to learn this lesson for her own personal growth.. we've all had those "moments' we learned from.. haven't you ever done anything you regretted?