He was disrespectful

[ShellNeverBeMe]

Hey all I'm new to this forum. Well..my bf and I have been together for 2 years. We've been to hell and back and we seem to keep returning to hell. He goes from hot to cold. He seems really into me, and then he pulls away for a couple days. Well lately I've been calling him..and he will say he will call me later but never does. I thought he may have been seeing someone else but I wasn't sure. I asked him and he laughed. Well yesterday I text him and said "Hi baby what are you doing tonight?" He said he was going out..and I said "Ok want me to call you after work?" He said sure and I told him while he was out he should stop by my work and get a drink. He then replied "Listen I'm busy call me later." Now I've been cheated on before, and my bf was displaying all the signs that my last boyfriend showed when he began seeing someone else. My bf has never done acted this way before and has always been good about calling me back. So I gave him some attitude after he said he was busy. Basically I was like "Yea screw you." I called him when I got out of work and he was around one of his friends and he was being kind of mean. He told me I needed to get smacked with an expletive. I asked who was around him and he said nobody. And then his friend started yelling in the backround so I hung up on my bf. Ten minutes later his friend text me saying not to call my bf because they were going out to resolve some issues. K whatever I wasn't planning on calling him. I did not reply to his friend's text. Then my bf called and I didn't even let him speak. I told him I was done, have a nice Thanksgiving, Merry Xmas Happy New Year and I hung up. He text me all night..saying he was going to say things to his friend's gf, that his friend is a ***head. Then this morning he text me "Happy Thanksgiving." I replied "Yea you too." Should I not have responded to the Happy Thanksgiving text? I feel like I should have ignored him. I am so done with him!

[DN]

Are you sure you are done with him or are you just saying that out of anger?

[ShellNeverBeMe]

I'm not angry. I'm more hurt. And yes, I am done. I feel like I shouldn't have responded to his text though.

[DN]

Suppose he apologises - still done?

[ShellNeverBeMe]

Oh, and I forgot. Last week was my b-day. All he did was send me a text saying Happy Birthday. No present, no dinner. Nothing. I expressed that I was upset and he got mad at me for being upset with him. He said he didn't have time to get a card/gift. I was really sad about that.

 

He won't apologize. He will think I am in the wrong...it's never his fault..

[DN]

OK - just malke sure that you really mean what you say and don't burn bridges that you may regret later.

[ShellNeverBeMe]

Should I have ignored his text though? I really don't want to talk to him. But I text him back and I really regret it now...

[laboheme]

I don't think that responding to his text was a big mistake; after all, it was just a simple "yeah, you too." Things would have been worse if you said something angry, or conversely, tried to suck up.

 

I definitely understand how you don't want to talk to him. He was being very disrespectful to you in front of his friend...His friend's bad influence is no excuse to be mean to you!

[DN]

Well, what is done is done. If you feel like it - just ignore any other message from him.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

i think you need to say whatever you want to say to him about breaking up, hopefully not when angry... then you are really done and don't have to continue with him if you don't want to.

 

i think ignoring your birthday after dating 2 years is really terrible... either he really takes you for granted and is lazy, or super inconsiderate, or trying to provoke you. he's also playing fast and loose with going incognito and ignoring you when HE feels like it, but he still expects you to pay attention to him when he wants you to... so immature and inconsiderate (and maybe some cheating thrown in there) sums it up.

 

so to give both of you some closure, my advice would be to talk to him when both of you are calm and tell him why you're breaking up with him, then hear out what he has to say unless it degenerates in yelling or anger or pleading, then just leave. then go about your business.

[ShellNeverBeMe]

It will end up with yelling, or him calling me some kind of name. He's very immature. That's why I feel like ignoring him is the best option. If I try to explain to him why I'm not happy he will just get mad and blame me. It's not even worth it. I'm done trying to make him into a nice guy. I shouldn't have to play games with him to keep him interested in me either. It's emotionally draining.

[rmpavlock]

Make it clear that you are broken up and then stop communication with him. Just be strong and stick to your guns! It's tough, but it sounds like you know this is the right thing for yourself.