Helping a cutter friend

[TxRedheadGuy]

Just wanted to ask for some advice from those of you who are or have been cutters.

 

I have a good friend who is going through a rough time in her life right now and has recently taken back to cutting. She had stopped for a couple years prior to this latest spate of cuttings, and caring for her the way I do I wondered if there is anything I can do to help her stop other than just being there for her with a friendly ear and shoulder and loving her unconditionally.

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Fallout]

Help her fix the problem(s) that lead to cutting so she won't have a need to...

[debidear]

You need to be there for her. Not just saying you understand (because I know you dont) not just telling her that things will get better (because until she herself believes that they cant) but really be there for her. Let her know how much you care and how precious she is in your eyes. Find some sort of beauty in each day that you can share with her and find ways for her to find some enjoyment in each day...I know this is alot to ask but good luck.

[stopit]

If you think she's posing a mortal threat to herself everytime she cuts, she needs to see a professional. There are different degrees of cutting that in no way reflect the intensity of the cutters pain, but do affect the amount of danger the cutter is subjecting herself to when cutting and often the way the cutting is treated.

 

How did she stop in the past? Did she stop when the problem resolved itself? Even if it is cyclical and stops when the stressor is eliminated, it's still not a healthy mechanism to revert to when a new stressor appears. If she stops, it's probably only going to be temporarily and there's no guarantee she won't start again when her life situation gets complicated. She needs to learn long term techniques for handling stress and ways to avoid cutting.

 

As for what you can do, that's pretty much limited to being there for her unconditionally, as you said you are. But it's not going to be enough to get her to stop cutting. You have to help her learn to cope with her problems in a healthy way rather than in a violent manner. Professional help is probably warranted.

 

But really, the approach to take is highly situational and really depends on the reasons she cuts, her resiliency, environmental factors, etc.

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

I agree really be there for her. Help her out as much as possible. But at the same time don't be to hard on yourself ok. Your her friend and i know you just want to help her but its important not to blame yourself if you can't fix everthing. No one can unless its what she wants and if she really wants it then maybe she needs to see someone. But for now if shes only just started up see what you guys can do to help her stop now. Talk to her about it she proboly won't want to but its important she knows she can talk to you about it and you won't think shes a freak!

[mitch17]

steal anything sharp in the house

[NKP]

steal anything sharp in the house

 

yeah but you cam still use your finger nails, hot water, lighters, fishing wire, theres lots of ways really, not just sharp things

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

A cutter will always find a blade if they need one... Trust me i know that the hard way. Really all you can do is listen and be on call whenever she needs you. and don't bug her about it, but at the same time don't pretend it ain't a problem. I know its hard being in your shoes, but you're a great guy for wanting to help so just be you.