Another Saturday Night.....

[sandyv]

Hi, haven't made any recent posts, but I'm lost right now... need to at least vent I suppose.....

 

I am alone tonight, I do have alot of friends, but have chosen to seclude myself because I'm feeling very down again... was feeling better... but not tonight...... for some unknown reason I'm back... way back... don't know why... just missing him.... major relapse....

 

I can't watch tv, or even a DVD movie, sipping on beers, what the hell is wrong with me. don't wanna feel what I'm feeling. Wondering what he is doing and if he is even thinking about me... he walked by my place yesterday and waved when he went by. I shut the door. I know he saw this, but I cou'ldn't help myself, he hurt me soo much. I guess thats probably what set me back.

 

Anyone else feeling lonely tonight?

[babybear]

yes i am so bored and alone i have nothing to do but stare into space or browse through tons of messages on here.

 

my ex is out god knows where doing god knows what.

 

i dont know why im not over him, its been four months.

you shouldnt walk by your guys place, maybe if you appear like you care exactly as much as he does he will change. if not then hes not worth it, but you cant make him want you.

 

i hate feeling this fricking alone. its like ive been waiting 3 hours now just so i can sleep, im waiting to sleep! how is that right?

[sandyv]

Hey no, He walked by my place, I was putting out some garbage, I ran in an shut the door....

[sandyv]

Same here Babybear, sleep is my escape as well.....

[babybear]

ahh yeah sorry mis-read there. i obviously am tired heh!

in that case you did a good thing, what was he doing walking by anyhow?!

if that were me i wouldnt have been able to help but go over, you showed strength.

[sandyv]

Well he drifted me for his ex (mother of his three children) but I hear through mutual friends he told her to "hit the bricks" and it didn't obviously work out. I don't wanna be second runner up to anyone.... Yeah he lives 3 blocks away and goes to the grocery store near my place.

[babybear]

that's awful. id keep away from him, he doesnt deserve your acknowledgment. but i suppose its difficult with children involved.

the best thing you can do is see friends, you should go out and meet new people as well when you begin to feel more like yourself.

or something.

[sandyv]

Yeah I actually have two of his friends (so-called anyway) hitting on me... I hate men right now (no not interested in woman tho, lol) but as much of a rat as he is, stupid me, still love and miss him, probably just like you miss you ex right?

[annie24]

hey - even though you're down, try to do something fun tonight. that might get you out of your funk. why not go rent a movie, or give yourself a manicure or pedicure? call a friend, go get some coffee or watch a movie together. write some christmas cards.

[sandyv]

Thnx Annie, gonna try to get happier, you know after almost 2 months I should be better, gotta work on it still I guess......

 

I appreciate feedback from everyone here.....

[Deserted1]

Don't feel bad ladies. I've been broken up for 5 months, NC for 3 months. Somehow when the weekend hits I get a little more depressed. I have many friends to go out with, but I have no desire to go anywhere. I try my best to not think about what she is doing, unfortunately I have a very creative mind and that works to my disadvantage with the break up. I guess this is part of the healing process. I do have a female friend coming over tonight, but sometimes I wonder if this is a good idea.

She has come over on Saturdays for a few weeks now, and sometimes I catch myself thinking about the ex when she is here. Ughhhh!!! I want to be over this already.

[sandyv]

Hey Deserted1, ya know me too... the guys that come around... wanna dance, flirt... I know this is normal, but I wanna slap them when they even touch me... so right now guess I'm better off alone..

 

I'm lonely sometimes even with a crowd around me, strange how that is, isn't it?

[ceeboogi]

Hey guys, im home with friends but I still can't stop myself from thinking about her and wts she is doing tonight...I am only on 3 days of NC (sad I know) when will i be the person i used to be!

[sandyv]

Yeah ceeboogi it all takes times unfortunately, thats what I'm dealing with now and babybear seems to be in the same situation. Still think of him no matter whom I'm with, and I'm afraid other people can see that, that why I chose to be alone tonight...... yikes I gotta get back in the saddle.....

[Deserted1]

Ya, I even went to Disneyland last week, and you would think I would be havin' a blast and not thinkin' anything negative, cause you know "it's the happiest place on earth!" But I was still thinkin bout the ex, the girl I was with saw me staring off while we were eating and asked "what are you thinking about?" What are you supposed to say? O about my ex, how we used to come here a lot and have sooo much fun. Ugh no, couldn't say that. I just said about the way they changed some of the rides. How lame that was!

[sandyv]

Hey never mind Deserted1, I can totally relate! I won't talk to my friends or anyone for that matter anymore about THE RELATIONSHIP that went bad, but I tend to relapse very often, I understand exactly how you feel.

 

Too bad we can't fast forward the baggage from our hearts as much as we would like too..........

[lizzie]

I'm in the same boat as all of you. It's been 4 years. We're friends - but he's involved with someone else too. I too elect to stay home on the weekend. I used to be out and about all the time and have had no desire. When I have forced myself I have anxiety and don't enjoy myself. Silly as it seems, I can't "cheat" on him.

 

Do you think they realize how much they hurt us?

[Deserted1]

Ya, I think my friends might be tired of hearing about the "relationship" too, but they haven't told me that yet. In fact they have been really cool about it and keep encouraging me, and even telling me about their break up stories, and how they went through them. They keep saying I'll get there. After almost half a year, you'd think that the feelings would subside just a little more than they have. I guess it's just that blasted hope, that the ex "will see the light" and come back runnin' back.

[desertnomad]

I hear you on that one deserted..I live a few hours from disneyland and thats probably the only thing I would be able to think about... my ex and the last time we went there.

 

Wow was I clueless though as to who I was with and what she was gonna do to us just a couple weeks later.

 

That is the thing thats gonna save me in the long run. Thinking about her actions in the end and afterwards. Better sooner than later I guess.

 

But it does really stink being alone and missing what you had or thought you had

[sandyv]

Dear Lizzie, Deserted1, & of course Nomad:

 

Aww misery must love company... I can relate to you all, and Lizzie I see you understand how I would rather be alone, cause your feeling the same..... god I still love him to hell, and its killing me, I dream of him every f***king night, and no, I can want no one else... only him...

 

I hear songs on the radio, the ones that came around when he and I were still together, and I cry......

[Deserted1]

Nomad, I know you have had a rough go of things. One could only hope for your sake that the worst for you is over. I hope you are feeling better. Luckily (I guess) I haven't heard from my ex. Last time I heard from her she told me "I" was her best friend, and not the new BF. What a comedian she is!

[Deserted1]

Sandy, I'm actually shedding tears for you right now. My heart goes out to you. I know we will all be better in time. I just wish I could get my D*** time machine working again! LOL

Had to try to at least laugh it off.

[sandyv]

Yeah I laugh too, but I feel kinda crazy when I do..... but ya know whatever gets us through the night... all right, all right, (compliments of John Lennon).....

 

 

 

 

[desertnomad]

Well sometimes you have to be a little crazy to get over someone elses craziness.

[sandyv]

Thnx Deserted1, you are soo sweet, you deserve some happiness, I know you'll find it....