desperate to save us, what in the world can i do besides give up?

[shep88ner]

me and my girlfriend celebrated our 10 month anniversary apart last monday since im in college and she's still in highschool. the past 2-3 weeks or so all we have done is fight, and i mean, fight big! we've "broken up" about 5-6 times but always end up working it out by nights end. before now, we were so great. i mean sure, we had a fight here and there, but it's nothing any other relationship doesnt go through. but it's like we stoped understanding eachother all of a sudden. we fight so much and she cries so much anymore because of me, i feel so terrible inside. she said "there's no love or romance in our relationship anymore. we're losting everything for the other." it just seems like all we do is fight.

 

tonight, i came home from college for the 3 day weekend and right away, we got into a HUGE fight. we broke up again and for once, i really felt it was for real considering all we ever do is fight now. but i droped my attitude and when she was still crying and sad i talked very light heartly to her and made little jokes and got her laughing and smiling again, which is what i wanted to do the whole time. so we went and had a real talk without the fighting, and we ended up agreeing to go back out again. but something had to change.

 

then what happened next is what im so worried about. we ended up making out and had we had more time, we very well may have had sex. now, im not going to complain about that, but a few hours before, she was crying her eyes out and we about called it quits.

 

i do not want our relationship to be all about sex and sex only. im really scared she sees it like, the only way i'll still love her is if she gives herself up to me so i wont leave her. i dont want to do that to her, i love her for her, not for anyother reason.

 

so my question is, how do we regain that love and romace and compassion we had before i left? we were even ok the first month i was gone. but now its all gone. is there any books, or websites? anything? any advice? how do i save my relationship with this girl?

 

 

the only option i have at this point is to try until the next big fight, then give up.....

[friscodj]

Hey Shep-

 

It sure sounds like you guys need a serious break. I mean, a good 2-3 weeks of staying away from each other, letting the fires cool, and let the emotions settle so you both can see the situation more clearly and make good decisions.

 

Make sure you let her know what's going on, then go get reconnected with you and your life. Go out, have fun, get your perspective back on life in general outside of this relationship.

 

This is only the first step I think but try this and go from there...

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

What are you fighting about?

[Momene]

I'm wary of this break business but I'd say set a 2 week time limit and agree NOT to date anyone else in that time. If you still fight after the break, give up.