Too keen?

[girlie219]

I met up with a new guy two nights ago and he bought me a rose for our date. We'd met previously in a nightclub and had a drunken kiss and he admitted he didnt remember much about me.

 

He seems like a nice guy but he rings and texts me loads and he bought me a magazine when i met up with him before work today. Do you think its a bit strange to be that keen early on or is it nice? I havent really had a guy treat me like that before but maybe thats where I've got it wrong in the past, anyone got any opinions?

 

 

[sixpounder]

i know when i first started dating my girlfriend i bought her flowers and took her out for supper all the time. he might be the same way, but he could also just be trying to get laid >,

[Dating Coach]

This is one of the reasons why bringing gifts this early on is a silly thing to do.

 

girlie219, what kind of impression do you get from him? Does he seem very shy or very outgoing? Usually the shy nervous types buy gifts in order to show the girl he is a nice guy. The overly outgoing ones would usually buy gifts to try to cover their "player" goals. There are exceptions but in my experience those two are the most common reasons.

[Siriana]

I had a similar experience and I posted here on enotalone about that - I was worried whether a guy I was dating (we are in a relationship now) had positive intentions or was just trying to get laid.

He was very decent and always contacting me (there was not that stupid rule wait 3 days before contacting, don't buy her a flower ...)

The fact is I was thinking he goes overboard with affections. And I was wrong. He was just decent and not interested in playing games.

I asked him once why he was so upfront and honest about his attentions from the early start in a way he showed so much affection so soon and he said to me because I don't have the time or the wish to play games.

 

Now, it all comes to your gut feeling. I was believing he is a normal decent person (and he is) but the fairness and politness of his behaviour (he is a real gentelman) made me suspicious (it is rare to find such a guy) so I freaked out.

If you think he is a player I bet you can find that out by informing yourself around. the fact is when someone is a player he has that reputation.

Whatever it is from that 2 solutions the only thing you can do is keep your standards and act the way you want not the way you feel you are obligated to.

 

Good luck

[MrKadash]

What a crapshoot. I've had friends of mine take it to each extreme, going woefully slow to the way of your new friend, with mixed results. Impossible to say which category he falls into -- me personally I never buy a girl flowers or gifts of any sort until I have a chance to know her better through a few dates. It gives that "relationship" feeling too soon for me, but of course everyone is different. Whether or not he's a player is for you to try to decipher, great advice I know. But you are in control of yourself, and let him know that if you need to. Keep in mind that he may be a keeper. A couple of my buddies who shower girls with affection early on more times than not are given the polar ice cap treatment, and I tell them to lower it a notch. But they are decent guys to me who deserve good things. Best of luck....

[Honey Pumpkin]

I'm a sucker for someone who does something nice for me after a date, that's low-key but thoughtful. Like lending me a DVD we've talked about, or copying me a CD because he thought I'd like the music. Something that doesn't cost money, is low-key, but shows that he was listening to me. I also like getting a book of his too. Does that make sense? Not a present as such, but an exchange of something to show that they are interested in you. Or nothing at all, that's cool also.

 

I don't like getting presents - although one guy sent me a stress ball beautifully wrapped up to my work, and that made me laugh a lot. That was very cute - because it was a casual throwaway gift that was worth pennies, it wasn't over the top or scary, but it made me laugh and showed he had listened to me saying that work was grrrrrrrrrr at the time.

[Siriana]

This is my definition of beeing romantic and toughtfull - when a guy does something like that.