Update from yours Truly

[calgaryguy]

Hey guys,

 

This site helped me so much i feel obligated to come back once in a while and check in. I went through a break up last christmas and found it hard to get over. This site kept me sane and helped me along. I been back together with the lady for about 4 months now and things are great. There have been little fights here and there over things we found out about while we wernt together but other then that all is good. Shes finally moving in with me and we are planning a future together.

 

One thing I would like to suggest before you get back with your ex is to get the truth out about what happened when you were apart. Who u slept with and did what with and such. She got pissed right off when I told her how many girls I slept with. So make sure thats over with before you begin anything. Other than that good luck guys and hope all is well for you. Thank you again those who helped me through it. If anyone has any questions please pm me. Thank again guys!!!!

 

Karl.

[majord23]

Hey guys,

One thing I would like to suggest before you get back with your ex is to get the truth out about what happened when you were apart. Who u slept with and did what with and such. She got pissed right off when I told her how many girls I slept with. So make sure thats over with before you begin anything.

 

Karl.

 

Funny you should say that mate. I went out with a girl for a few months and we had that particular discussion. She ended up dumping me after a few months.

Anyway, we got back together about 6 months later and we had the same talk. Her 'number' had gone up by 1...mine had increased significantly.

 

She said: "So you lied the first time?" - I just looked at her with a straight face and said: "No".

 

As bad as it sounds, I felt great - it was my little bit of unintentional revenge on her for cutting me loose. It still makes me smile

 

Bad major....bad, bad major ](*,)

[SarahRose]

So tell me how you guys would have felt if the gals had told you they had banged about 10 guys while you were apart?

[Lady Bugg]

PERSONALLY..I disagree with Calgary's advice on being honest about that stuff.

 

First of all it is NOT your business who your ex was with when you

were broken up. How is it going to benefit your relationship in a positive

way to do that?? Besides....it's tactless and undignified.

I would never ask my partner that question, simply because it would

hurt me too much. I would ASSUME he was with others....

and acknowledge that he was perfectly within his rights to do so..as

I would be.

[majord23]

So tell me how you guys would have felt if the gals had told you they had banged about 10 guys while you were apart?

 

I wouldn't like it one bit and if it were my choice I would not have had the conversation the second time - it was initiated (and indeed insisted upon) by my girlfriend.

 

I'm not advocating having this conversation at all - I think what happens while two people are broken up is none of the others business. While honest and open communication is the foundation of a solid relationship - being open and honest about this issue (I think) is possibly the most counter-productive thing you can do.

 

I was just relaying my experience - Don't misinterpret story-telling for agreement

[majord23]

PERSONALLY..I disagree with Calgary's advice on being honest about that stuff.

 

First of all it is NOT your business who your ex was with when you

were broken up. How is it going to benefit your relationship in a positive

way to do that?? Besides....it's tactless and undignified.

I would never ask my partner that question, simply because it would

hurt me too much. I would ASSUME he was with others....

and acknowledge that he was perfectly within his rights to do so..as

I would be.

 

Amen to that.

[calgaryguy]

well I gues thats your choice then, I would rather know.....just me i guess.

[blueberrypie]

PERSONALLY..I disagree with Calgary's advice on being honest about that stuff.

 

First of all it is NOT your business who your ex was with when you

were broken up. How is it going to benefit your relationship in a positive

way to do that?? Besides....it's tactless and undignified.

I would never ask my partner that question, simply because it would

hurt me too much. I would ASSUME he was with others....

and acknowledge that he was perfectly within his rights to do so..as

I would be.

 

 

I agree. What you or your ex did while you were apart none of the other's business. You were not together. Talking about it can only hurt you.

 

Karl, I'm so happy to hear that you are doing great. You give us so much hope. Hope you'll have bright future with you gf. No more breakups for you!

[calgaryguy]

thank you very much!! *crosses fingers* ya hopefully this was the last one.