Gun Shy

[LostInMyThoughts]

Recently I met a wonderful woman, and we've started to become intimate.

 

Last night she was over at my place, and after things got hot and heavy, we decided to have sex (our first time together)

 

For some reason, when I started to put the condom on, I started to lose my errection.

 

Of course I felt really bad. I couldn't get it out of my head. I'm finding it hard to not think about it.

 

I talked to her abit when it happened, and she was so wonderful, telling me that it was okay with her. I totally believe her too, but now that this is stuck in my head, I'm afraid its going to be a big mental road block. My own advice is to try and not worry about it.

 

Part of me is trying to find excuses, like we were going hot and heavy for a good 4 hours, that I couldn't be errect for so long.

 

I could really use some help here. Anyone experience something similar, how did you get over it? Any input from women who have been in bed and had a partner have this happen.

 

It just kinda sucks, because for me, performance in bed is a big point of pride.

[Beec]

The time spent with the condom I have always found to be the worse time there is EVER. You go from being hot and heavy to standing by yourself in the corner. My best suggestion is to have her put it on and make it part of your sex play.

[sparkle1]

Put your pride and what has happened into separate categories.

 

Simply yes it has happened to me (i am female). And i didn't think any less of him when it did happen.

 

4 hours is a long time to be aroused....and its not surprising you lost it - especially considering this was the 1st time.....

 

Don't beat yourself up over this....otherwise like you say, you'll be in a circle.

 

next time may be not so much foreplay?

 

x

[shikashika]

i'm female... it has happened to guys i'm with... i think they were bothered about it more than me.. i just enjoyed kissing him, touching him... and after that for a bit.. he was able to get it up again..

[artist777]

This happens. Condoms are awful, not to mention the first time can be intimidating, especially when you are really into the person. And I agree, 4 hours is a very long time. Anyone worth their weight in gold would never fault you. Shake it off. Next time find another spot--somewhere completely different. A whole new scenario. don't let it creep into your head. Just your worrying about it makes you a generous lover.

[Baby Carrot]

Hey, just let me tell you that -at least for me- having a guy hard for 4 hours is a HUGE HUGE compliment. Without mentioning how sexy it sounds.

 

Is not like you ended up being impotent or anything right?

 

No biggie! Just try again, and forget about what happened in the end.

[Day_Walker]

try not to give this much thought and just write it off as something that doesnt happen. If you keep having a problem then what you want to do is incorporate putting the condom on into the foreplay, that way you arent standing in the corner putting the condom on.

[heloladies21]

It's just nerves, you'll be fine next time.

[Slacker]

Wow, i had the same exact problem man I even quoted the 4 hour thing in my thread

 

You gotta put it in the back of your head, when you're with her concentrate on her body and your emotional connection. Speed things up a little bit as well, oral is magic!

[LostInMyThoughts]

Thanks everyone for your comments and words of encouragement

[Cardinal]

Yep....happens everytime I have sex.....if I do foreplay for too long, it sure is going to be tough to get it up and keep it that way.

 

Get down to business within the first half hour or so!

[Trippingpoint]

I had the same problem last night. You can see my post about "i hate condoms.help." Im not very experianced and I was terrified last night that it was some huge mental barrier I had but reading other peoples experiances it sounds like I shouldnt be worried!

 

Im going to put my experiance, like yours, behind me and just forget about it. Why think about it? Hopefully itll just be nerves and when I see her tonight there will be no problem. Hope you find the same.

[Thulsadoom]

Condoms aren't great. Everybody has negative experiences with them. The best thing to do, is ask her to put it on for you. Make it part of the foreplay. Turn it into part of the fun of having sex, not an unfortunate necessity.