artist777
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Posts
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Luck of Irish, the thing that stands out for me most here, is that she is not willing to work on it. You have to ask yourself what does this say about this person? What other issues will she be so unbending on? Not to mention, personal release, intimacy, personal satisfaction is a BASIC HUMAN NEED. She isn't even working at it?? What a wonderful world to live in to turn a deaf ear on your loved one's needs? How much does she love you, hon? You can't just block out the other person's needs. It just doesn't work that way... I LOVE sex, but in my 20s I was not as into it. I NEVER EVER turned my lover down. If my lover wanted it, I was there, and I tried to make it good for him and accept what he was trying for me. Because I loved him and I realized it was something he needed. It's not really that hard to be in the catcher's position. It's not a huge imposition, doll. And you sound giving. You do seriously need to think on this. How long do you want your needs ignored b/c her preference comes first? This is not good. And the way she is dealing w/ it is very very selfish. You can't be unbending like that in a relationship. It just doesn't fly. I'm sorry, kiddo. It sounds like you love her, but you need to love yourself too.
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Snowy princess: I'm sorry this is happening to you. I'm there, it hurts. Not to put demons in your head, but do you think he may be cheating? Are you certain of his whereabouts every evening? Not having much of a drive is one thing, but to flat out turn someone down is rude. Especially, when you are trying to entice him. It takes a lot of energy and bravado to put yourself out there. Has he put himself out there? Maybe if you told him that you are considering going out of the relationship for it. I think witholding is just not right and anyone who does it, gets what they deserve.
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Poll For Everyone on Spanking and Sexuality
artist777 replied to FiredandHurt's topic in Sex and Romance
A). Huge turn on!! So sexy! Pain and pleasure, yum! -
Well, looks like you have exactly what meant the most to you. You have peace of mind about your wallet... you should be happy.. why write?
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If he is uninterested, then why doesn't he let me go? I've tried to break it off several times. I have also asked him not to waste my time. when I try to break it off, he gets very emotional.
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[i have a feeling that even if your man initiated a lot, you'd still want it just as much and would still initiate a great deal. Only a matter of who gets there first.] Actually, no. I have a guy that knows I will initiate, so he sits back and lets me initiate, takes all the foreplay while giving only the bare minimum of foreplay, then gives me the 'gift' of intercourse for all my hard work. So, my choice is don't initiate and we both fall asleep or initiate and get short changed...
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another thought. I agree w/ you that there are women who cannot get off their lazy butt to initiate. BUT there are men out there, who if they withhold long enough, will lay back so women have to initiate every time. And that is just lousy..
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I hear you, Tiredman. I don't think it is a man/woman thing, so much as a people thing. I don't think either partner should get lazy in that department. I think that both partners need to realize that intimacy is a gift of their relationship. Both partners need to feed it and nurture it. I think we start hearing from people when one of the partners isn't pulling their weight. People don't complain for no reason. they complain b/c they are feeling resentful. I think there are plenty of couples out there, where the intimacy just 'works', and it's a non issue. Then I think there are those who have to keep cultivating and nurturing it. I don't ever believe anyone should slap anyone man/woman/animal/child ever. I don't think men need to hold doors open for women and all that crap. I think considerate people should be considerate to each other. I hold doors for my boyfriend and it freaks him out. He feels weird. I don't see anything wrong w/ it. I don't look at myself as girl or woman, but person. I think you may be angry, b/c someone didn't pull their weight w/ you. And that is okay. because there are a lot of lazy women who just lay there and behave as if showing up to the party is their gift. It isn't. It isn't for either person..
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I don't have the heart. I remember feeling very sorry for him when he first told me that. Now I completely understand what she went through. He gets very nervous when he sees me online. It's heartwrenching.
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thank you, syrix. I know that is what you were getting at w/ your first reply. It's good advice and advice I would myself give to someone. when I try to let go, he comes after me harder and there is sex by the bundles. Then I go back for more, and it slides back to me putting out all the effort again. It breaks my damn heart and confuses the hell out of me.
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[KINK IT UP......] I've tried kinking it up. Again, he sits back and watches me stand on my head for booty.. It ends up being me putting out all the FOREPLAY and EFFORT and he just 'shows up for the party'. how nice to sit back and watch a nit wit stand on their head for something that should be a healthy part of a loving relationship. I have tried all that I could possibly do. I end up feeling resentful.
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For clarification. This is a relationship where my head is being played w/ a little. That I why I am coming here for help. When I am home w/ this person, they look through me as I am not there. The minute I step out of our door, I am barraged all day w/ IM messages and email about how much he loves me and wants me. It is heartbreaking.. I love him for trying and I know he is feeling insecure about it, but my head is all screwed up. If you love and want someone, why wouldn't you give them the attention when they are right in front of you? why wait to put it in an IM or email?
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this is in response to badboy 101's comment about my 'self centered sex drive'. Right. It's a self centered sex drive when a woman has needs. If a man has needs that aren't being taken care of, a woman is a drag. He has no problem sitting in front of the TV watching the game until midnight or playing a playstation game until midnight, or talking my ear off about something w/o giving me a chance to speak until midnight. But when I need personal attention, it's too much to give. I think it's more of a selfish man - you give to me - I give to myself sort of thing. Trust me--you guys are out there. God forbid, a woman needs some care in that dept. We get the cold damn shoulder. But wait until one of you needs your rocks off--then we look good.
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Thank you, everyone!
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Here is a good example. I hated anal sex. Now I love it. It was sprung on me once in my 20s and I was so turned off, I would not try it again. My current boyfriend tried it once and I opened my mind to it. Now, I love it. I choose it when I'm on my period. If you approach her with it and tell her how you are going to go very very slow with lots of lubrication and clitoral stimulation, it will make her feel more comfortable. If I stimulate my clitoris during entry, it makes it much easier. Once it is going, my climax are 10% more powerful than vaginal. made me sorry I closed my mind to it for all those years.