No closure/ NC/ how long for his call?

[Scout]

I feel like (and hope) that this is only true for immature and selfish men.

 

Then your hopes have been answered. Of course "men" aren't just like this. Do yourself the biggest favor of your life and stop listening to people who make accross the board generalizations about entire genders. You know why people do that? Because they will do anything to externalize why relationships don't work out for them. It's never their fault, oh no. It's because men are dogs. Or women are witches.

 

Basically, these people would rather stew in their bitter misery than EVER point the spotlight of examination directly at themselves to acknowledge they have some real issues that need serious work on.

 

And there are loads of "relationship" and "self-help" books out there that are capitalizing on this very common tendency to externalize the reasons for our pain.

[jamiek]

Thanks, to be honest. I'm hurt for a lot of reasons (one that I cared about David, was attached to him, and trusted him). But also, my self-esteem is damaged now too. This is my first time being dumped, and I've never had anyone tell me these things.

I just don't understand how a man can say "I'm really attracted to you, I love spending time with you, I feel a connection to you and close to you, I can't help from touching you, and our sexual chemistry is the best I've ever had" and then say he doesn't see you as long-term potential. God, what more can you ask for???

[Tj williams]

just things happen that some people can't explain. i mean i have girls tell me that and i feel that same way you do and all i can do it wait and fix myself to become stronger.

[Scout]

Honestly, I don't get it, either. It's a bit sad that the guy is describing love, but doesn't even recognize it.

 

You're in your thirties, right? Consider it a miracle that up until now, you've always been the one to do the leaving!

[jamiek]

Well, thanks again! I'm having a hard time right nw with it - it's really hard to take, and understand, and just accept and move on but I know I have to and am trying to. I feel disrespected and disregarded by him; someone I didn't think could be such a jerk. It will take time but I guees time heals all wounds right. Thanks again!

[Ellie2006]

I just don't understand how a man can say "I'm really attracted to you, I love spending time with you, I feel a connection to you and close to you, I can't help from touching you, and our sexual chemistry is the best I've ever had" and then say he doesn't see you as long-term potential. God, what more can you ask for???

 

Hey Jamie,

I totally hear ya.

I heard something very similar from my ex.

 

But like Scout said, it is really sad (for him mostly but I guess for me as well, to a certain extent) that he does not seem to understand that he is describing love.

 

BUT I don't think it's something *we* can point out to our exes.

They have to realize it themselves.

 

I've (kinda grudgingly ) accepted the fact that people can't make their heart feel what it doesn't (or feel what it *thinks* it doesn't) ...

 

Well, hope things are going well with Jake (haha this is a bit belated but I like this name also!).

 

Take care and best wishes to you!

[jamiek]

\Hey Ellie2006, thanks!! I have a 3rd date w/ Jake tomorrow night. IT's good and he's very nice but I just want to take it slow b/c I'm still working through this other thing and don't want to have to tell him that but ..... I don't want to hurt anyone and I thhink Jake really likes me. BTW, did your ex who said somethign similar to you as mine ever try to get in touch again or "wake up" at all? How long ago was your break-up?

[Ellie2006]

Hey Jamie,

 

It's been a little over 2 months (and it was a LDR -- we lived in the same city initially but I had to move back to my home country)

And no, he has not tried to get back in touch.

On good days, I am glad he's respected my request for NC.

And on not-so-good days, well, I guess I don't have to explain

 

Yeah, I think you're right to take things slow ... the scenery along the way is just as important as getting there!

 

Have a great weekend!

[jamiek]

It's probably for the best you haven't heard from him (but don't you hate lines like that from people). I feel lik emine had already moved on comlpetely with no looking back.

Time will heal (hopefully).